Pauline On Politics: The General Election Result...

Our political correspondent, Pauline Popkins, gives her in-depth analysis of the result of the general election and Labour’s landslide victory…. 

ARRRRRRRRGHHH!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! LEFTIST BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!! HATE! HATE!! HATE!!!  Thanks to the relentless, biased, divisive hatred and distortion peddled by left –wing socialist newspapers like the Times and the Sun, it’s STARMERGEDDON!!!!!

Already, the country is being OVERRUN by billions of BOAT PEOPLE, now that St*rmer and his gang of ultra-left-wing communist tofu-eating wokerati have OPENED THE FLOODGATES and issued open invitations to all ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS everywhere. Everyone else in the UK will now be TAXED AT 100% to pay for luxury lifestyles for BENEFIT SCROUNGERS while hard-working BRITISH PEOPLE STARVE!!!!!.

The LOONY SOCIALIST ANTI-GROWTH COALITION led by LEFT-WING HEDGE FUND MANAGERS, COMMUNIST BANKERS, LEFTIE LAWYERS and DEEP-STATE WOKE CIVIL SERVANTS will now deliberately DESTROY THE UK’S ECOMONY in order to bring about a SOCIALIST UTOPIA!!! …….earthquakes ……. plagues of locusts ……rains of blood ……….. the Four Horseman …….. the Kraken rises............ the seas boil......... ANGELA RAYNER ………… ARRRRRRRRRGHHH!!!! ……. HATE! HATE!! HATE!!! 

And all because the Tory vote was split by people voting for REFORM and their rabid brand of divisive, anti-European, ultra-free-market dogma and general xenophobia…….. er ……... just the same as what I believe in………….er………..ARRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!......... Labo*r landslide……….  IT’S ALL MY FAULT…….. …NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

There’s only one answer to all this. I NEED TO SEND MYSELF TO RWANDA!!!!! It’s the only language that clapped-out loopy fascists like me understand!!!!!!!!   EXCEPT THAT I CAN’T!!!! ……… BECAUSE THAT STOP RINGING THOSE BELLS STOP RINGING THOSE BELLS NAMBY-PAMBY WOKE SNOWFLAKE ST*RMER HAS ALREADY SCRAPPED THE RWANDA DEPORTATION SCHEME!!!!!!!

Gibber gibber meep meep bleep whirrr I’M VERY GOOD AT INTEGRAL AND DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS I KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC NAMES OF BEINGS ANIMICULOUS bibble babble bobble IN SHORT OF MATTERS VEGETABLE AND ANIMAL AND MINERAL I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR-GENERALLLLOOOOH MY GOD my brain’s exploded!!!!

 

Comments: 

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David Simile the Second wrote:

Another clear-sighted and brilliant summary of the quite frankly questionable victory of wet, woke socialism over common-sense right-wing culture wars and dogma. This election was clearly stolen by the communist Deep State and its woke, far-left, anti-UK agenda, in much the same way as Mr. Trump was ousted in America.

👍+157

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

Now that the lunatics have taken over the asylum and true, ultra-wealthy patriots such as I are no longer respected, I shall be moving my UK business to the Far East and firing all of my British employees, as any rich British businessman who loves his country should do. I have no doubt that I would otherwise be expected to pay decent working wages to work-shy British people and to provide safe and fair working conditions for them. The little yellow and brown people working in my sweat-shops in Asia do not demand such things and indeed, would be severely punished if they did. With Labo*r in charge, the UK will never be able to compete with the “Tiger Economies”.  And as for expecting super-rich people such as me to pay a “wealth tax” to subsidise work-shy scroungers and lazy illegal immigrants, this is the path to madness. The UK is doomed.

👍+63

Chad Grindr wrote:

Leftist loons in charge ….wibble wibble….tofi-eating wokerati….HATE HATE…tears on my Daily Telegraph…. OOOOH MY GOD my brain’s exploded!!!!

👍+26

GreyMondeoMan replied:

Get over it Chad, you lost. It’s the Will of the People…

👎👎👎-9253

Chad Grindr replied:

Based on the number of votes cast, the government should now comprise of a Tory/Reform/LibDem coalition. That’s “the voice of the people”, or at least the voice of anyone who isn’t a gibbering left-wing loon. With Labour achieving such a marginal result, the country is crying out for another election under a PR system to clarify matters, just like we didn’t for Brexit. How can Starmer claim a mandate for his socialist lunacy when he only holds a slender 291 seat majority based on 39% of the vote? We are now living in a socialist dictatorship.

👍👍👍👍+6576

Boring Welsh Tory wrote:

In Wales, the number of votes cast strongly suggests that people want a Conservative / REFORM coalition. Labour only polled 487,636 votes and got 27 seats, whereas the combined REFORM/Tory vote was 463,021 yet they didn’t get any seats at all. Of course, I have ignored other data as it doesn’t fit my argument, just like I always do. It is therefore clear that Wales is crying out for a change from FPTP to PR, or whatever it takes to guarantee a Tory win.

👍+1

Gonads replied:

Does anyone in Midway really give a flying fuch about Wales? Thought not….

👍+162

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, dear Mr Putin says to support REFORM UK for all Russian oligarchs hiding money in UK and to remember this at next election.

👍+26