Killer Horror Storm Tornado Terror Warning Issued For Midway Area.

The Met Office issued a weather warning today, suggesting there may be a chance of severe storms, lightning, tornadoes, hurricanes, torrential rain and hailstones the size of cars crashing from the skies and obliterating everything in their path.

Met Office weather warning: possible Armageddon scenario for Midway...

These thunderstorms may cause tidal waves, flooding and the sweeping away of whole towns and villages, with roads blocked by falling trees or otherwise destroyed by the anticipated deluge.

Homes and businesses will be flooded, with massive damage to buildings from floodwater, lightning strikes, hail or strong winds.

Evil left-wing weather poised to sweep across Midway...

Widespread power outages will reduce Midway to Stone Age conditions, with widespread food and water riots as society breaks down and people revert to a hunter/gatherer existence of lawless anarchy where every man has to fight for himself.

People are advised to fortify their houses, panic-buy supplies of food, fresh water and to lock themselves indoors until the Army can restore order.

Local communities should get together with firearms to defend themselves from gangs of marauding, starving foreigners who have arrived in small boats to take advantage of the state of anarchy in the Midway region, and to establish themselves as quasi-feudal overlords of the native English population.

Potential socialist storm damage in Midway...

“This is all utter sensationalist drivel that is designed to generate a few page views for a desperate and lazy local online news source on a slow news day,” said a Met Office spokesman.

“We will be strongly contesting the association of the Met Office name with these ridiculous exaggerations of the effects of what may be only a few scattered storms.”

“Quite how the MORON gets away with putting out such rubbish is completely beyond us.”

In the real world, it seems the interns were sitting around twiddling their thumbs until the editor got them to surf the net for a space-filling UK weather warning. OK, so it didn’t really apply to the local area, but hey, click-bait is click bait…

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy. 

Phil TheMentallyIll wrote:
The current drought and resultant stormy weather is entirely the fault of Keir Starmer and Chancellor Rachel Reeves. The removal of the universal Winter Fuel Payment, the imposition of inheritance tax on farmland, the introduction of VAT on private school fees and Keir Starmer’s freebie spectacles are all directly responsible for the extreme weather and violent storms we are now about to endure. All those who voted Labour at the last election should hang their heads in shame.

+12

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
You’re blaming Labour for the weather? Really? Are you for real?

+5

Neil Barse replied:
You keep on about the consequences of Brexit and how better off the UK would be to rejoin the EU greymondeoman. Yet once again the question you must answer is, why did you vote Labo*r knowing full well that St*rmer made it perfectly clear that Labo*r will not reapply to join the EU. Why did you not vote for a pro EU party? Or are you not that bothered with the EU as you have been since 2016, thus being able to carry on sniping about Brexit all the time the UK is out of the EU?

-6

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
This is a thread about the MORON’s ridiculous exaggeration of Met Office weather warnings. Why are you dragging Brexit and my personal political preferences into it? Once again you are resorting to repeatedly demanding answers to questions completely unrelated to the topic under discussion - “sealioning” I think you call it, something you constantly accuse others of. Once again, Neil, the reason I voted Labo*r is quite simple – in my opinion they offered the best hope of renewal after 15 years of Tory mis-rule. Yes, I am disappointed with Labo*r’s stance on Brexit and indeed, many of their other policies, but I still remain utterly convinced that they are by far the least worst of the political options available at the moment.

+28

Neil Barse replied:
A typically evasive response from greymondeoman. But once again greymondeoman you refuse to answer the original question put to you as follows. You keep on about the consequences of Brexit and how better off the UK would be to rejoin the EU. Why did you vote Labo*r knowing full well that St*rmer made it perfectly clear that Labo*r will not reapply to join the EU. Why did you not vote for a pro EU party? Or are you not that bothered with the EU as you have been since 2016, thus being able to carry on sniping about Brexit all the time the UK is out of the EU? It's a perfectly simple question that even you can understand maninawhitecar, so why are you so opposed to give an honest (hopefully) answer.

-9

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I answered your pointless and unrelated question above, Neil. As usual, you refuse to acknowledge the answer and then blame me for your lack of comprehension. Sealioning and gas-lighting are, of course, well-known ploys right out of the far-right troll’s handbook of social media distraction techniques, ones that you repeatedly use and then accuse others of.

+26

Yu Rong replied:
Ooooh get you and your tantrums. So are you saying Reeves should tax savings in an ISA?

+3

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
This is a thread about the MORON’s ridiculous exaggeration of Met Office weather warnings. So what on earth are you on about? First, a load of off-topic nonsense about Brexit and now ISAs? Far-right ‘sealioning’ at its prime.

 

Neil Barse replied:
An excellent factual and moderate reply, Yu Rong. Grey Mondeo Man is just a pathetic leftist troll who only ever posts tedious sealioning, insults, lies, gaslighting and disinformation. I think leftists like him must be mentally ill to constantly come out with the lies and whataboutery the way he does. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults.

-19

Chad Grindr replied:
An excellent factual and moderate reply, Neil. Grey Mondeo Man is just a vindictive peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll who just throws vile insults at anyone who disagrees with him.

-16

Yu Rong replied:
Great post as ever Neil.

-8

Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil

-6

RSlickR replied:
Great post as ever Chad.

-5

Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil

-6

Phil theMentallyIll replied:
Great post as ever Chad.

-5

Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil

-6

Neil Barse replied:
Great post as ever Chad.

-4

Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil

-4

I like arse cream replied:
Great post as ever Chad.

-3

Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil

-3

Smile Johnny's Bonkers wrote:
Now stop those god-dam boats, bringing all their forren monsoon weather into this country. And start deporting those forren rain clouds that have made it over. 

-24

Pseudocreem2 wrote:
Comrades this weather is political decision by Labo*r they are suppressing information about your weather like Michael Fish did in 1987 so that true cost of storm disaster can be hidden so money can be spent on illegal immigrants and giving it to evil Nazi regime in Ukraine so that they can continue to fight war against democracy of dear Mr. Putin and to overseas climate change scams. This all deliberate and designed to punish people of your country who Labo*r have declared war on after tricking them into electing them on a platform of lies and disinformation and vast majority of UK people now realise they have no political party representing them as proved by latest petition any more except for REFORM which dear Mr. Putin and his rich friends says everyone in UK must vote for in next UK election to bring back true democratic freedoms like we have in Russia.

+18

Killer Cold Health Yellow Warning Issued For Midway As Temperatures Plummet Below Freezing

Scary weather map showing bad weather in other places...

A yellow cold health warning has been issued as temperatures are set to plummet below freezing.

The alert comes into force across Kent from 9am today (February 7) and will be in place until 9am on Tuesday (February 11).

This means the weather is likely to lead to an increased use of healthcare services by vulnerable people and pose a greater risk of life to those individuals.

Freezing snow blizzard hell not happening...

Yellow cold health alerts have also been issued by the UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA) for the North East, North West and Yorkshire and the Humber.

Which are three hundred miles north of Midway, but why spoil a good headline with mere geography?

As we head into the weekend, the Met Office said high pressure across the country will bring easterly winds and low temperatures and increase the risk of snow and ice.

A spokesman for the government agency added: “What we are seeing with the UK’s weather over the next few days is the influence of high pressure and the development of south-easterly airflow which will see temperatures drop for many.

“We could see temperatures drop as low as minus 7C in rural parts of Scotland from Friday into the weekend.

“Further south we’re still likely to see through the weekend sub-zero temperatures.

No risk of deadly killer snow terror...

“Rural parts of southern Wales could reach minus 4C from Friday overnight into the weekend.”

Despite this, he said day-time temperatures in the Midway area will only be “slightly below” the average maximum for February, which is 7C. They may dip to just below freezing, which is not unusual for this time of year.

However, the Met Office spokesman added: “February has started warmer than average, so it is going to be a return to more typical February averages, albeit a bit colder.

“From Friday, there is a chance of some snow drifting into parts of the south of England and south Wales, however, this is relatively short-lived, and it is not expected to be impactful at the moment.”

So as usual, we haven’t got a story. But we’re hoping our brain-dead readership won’t look beyond the click-bait headline, so that we get the “clicks” we need to keep our advertisers happy.

Midway is likely to see rain across the weekend with drier conditions expected later next week.

It really is kind of pathetic isn’t it…?

Comments:
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Notasoviet Resident wrote:
Comrades you must know if anyone dies from cold injuries, your St*rmer and Re*ves must be held accountable.
Everyone now knows they lied into power and despise everything British. Contributing to peoples ill health, Injury and possible death can not be ignored. They are treacherous traitors of British people, unlike Dear Mr. Putin who loves the UK and will bring true democracy to our country if asked to by proper patriotic UK politicians like REFORM.

👍+94

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
Hello Pseudocreem 2. I see you are now posting under a new user name. And we don't use the word “comrade” in the UK very much. Just a little hint.

👍+1

Notasoviet Resident replied:
You tell lies as typical English St*rmer stooge. I am listening to someone on Russia Today who comparing St*rmer’s regime with Nazi Germany and it is valid comparison regardless of what you think comrade most people in UK feel threatened and marginalised in St*rmer’s Britain where his two tier policing and politicised judiciary will allow and encourage pro Palestinian protests while clamping down on political protestors for other causes all while harassing political opponents and journalists etc who they see as hostile. Can you think of any other democratic regime since the Nazis who passed legislation knowing it would lead to the deaths of some of most vulnerable people in society? UK needs dear Mr. Putin and fairness and freedom of true democracy as offered in homeland by dear Mr. Putin and his patriotic rich oligarch friends rather than Nazi gangster regime of Ke*r St*rmer

👍+18

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I know disinformation is your job and your employers have to be congratulated for their efforts over Brexit and the recent presidential election in the USA. But here in the UK, the government does not harass political opponents, nor has it passed legislation that will “lead to the deaths of some of the most vulnerable people in society”. This ridiculously transparent anti-government propaganda from your Russian masters fools nobody.

👍+2

Notasoviet Resdient replied:
Comrade it pitiful to be watching you desperately try to deflect and obfuscate as the appalling reality of Labo*r government becomes increasingly clear if this cabal of champagne socialists and far left fascists last full term they won't see second one as we have control of UK media and will make sure REFORM and Tory party merge so will be friendly to Mr. Putin and his patriotic rich oligarch friends rather than fascist Nazi gangster regime of Ke*r St*rmer who is enemy of fairness and freedom of true democracy unlike Dear Mr. Putin.

👍+6

Phil TheMentallyIll wrote:
All this cold weather in winter is entirely the fault of Ke*r St*rmer and Chancellor Rach*l Re*ves. The imposition of VAT on private school fees, removal of the universal Winter Fuel Payment, the imposition of inheritance tax on farmland and Ke*r St*rmer’s freebie spectacles are all directly responsible for the cold weather we will soon be suffering. All those who voted Labo*r at the last election should hang their heads in shame.

👍+132

Chad Grindr replied:
I completely agree, Phil. The only ones celebrating life under this disastrous government are the criminals that it let out of prison early and the millions of so-called asylum seekers let in since Labo*r came to power and who are currently sitting in warm hotels while all of our pensioners freeze to death and our farmers are reduced to living in tents as a result of being evicted from their land because they cannot afford to pay their IHT bills.

👍+218

Super Small Dick wrote:
Labo*r have been in for over six months now and everything is still shite just like it was under the last government of Blair and Brown. In that time, millions of illegal immigrants have crossed the channel in small boats and are being kept in luxury hotels while millions of UK pensioners freeze to death and homeless farmers are sleeping on the streets after being kicked off their land because they can’t afford to pay their inheritance tax. My local Tory councillor told me that St*rmer is now planning to abolish state pensions altogether to pay for benefits for illegal immigrants. Vote REFORM UK PARTY PLC.

👍+134

  

Midway Braced For Freezing Blizzard Storm Disaster Conditions. Again.

Met Office warning; freezing killer ice-age hell this weekend....

Midway is bracing itself for freezing Arctic conditions after the Med Office hinted that "it might be a bit chilly" over the coming weekend.

Gargoyle: "Killer winter..."

Temperatures are set to plummet to a freezing hell of -3° overnight, as Midway MP for Claptout-On-Sea Niglet the gargoyle warned that tens of thousands of Midway pensioners could be at risk of freezing to death.

"Thanks to the withdrawal of the Winter Fuel Allowance by this wicked Labo*r government and its evil Labo*r chancellor R*chel Re*ves, millions of UK pensioners are likely to die of hypothermia," it frothed.

"Now that the country is faced with the unprecedented threat of cold weather in winter, I call upon Keir Starmer to accept the will of the people and resign immediately."

"Then we can hold a general election, so that the people can choose a thoughtful, caring government, i.e. one dominated by my Really Extreme Far-Out Right-wing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™®."

Snow: will be abolished by the gargoyle...

"As Prime Minister, I promise to abolish winter, along with lots of other things that I know are impossible to deliver. But then people voted for the promises of "Sunlit Uplands" for Brexit, so I know I can get away with spouting any old nonsense, just so long as it keeps me and my Really Extreme Far-Out Right-wing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® in the public eye..." 

Midway Council has announced that its refuse and recycling collection is currently under review, although that has nothing to do with the weather.

Midway Police are advising motorists to only travel if necessary if it does actually snow, as any snowfall could turn to ice, making driving conditions in many parts hazardous.

Chief Inspector Mike Grabber, head of Midway Police's roads policing unit, said: "Driving in snow and on icy roads is very difficult, even for experienced drivers.”

"Tyres can lose traction when the road surface is wet or icy, which can result in skidding and a loss of control of the vehicle.”

Killer blizzard terror...maybe...

"Drivers need to ask themselves whether their journey is necessary if there is very heavy snowfall. If motorists do have to travel they should take a fully charged mobile phone, food, water and warm clothes with them in case they get stranded, quick recovery cannot be guaranteed in periods of severe weather."

“However, as there’s virtually no risk of any snow in the next few days, we suggest people stop worrying about scare stories in stupid Tory news sites…” 

No schools or nurseries in Midway are closed, despite the vanishingly small risk of bad weather.

A spokesman for Tesco said, “there’s no need whatsoever to panic buy. There’s no imminent threat of bad weather in the next couple of weeks, despite a certain local news-site trying to drum up panic to boost its “clicks”.”

ex-MP Kylie Trollhouse: Blame Labo*r

Former Stroochester MP Kylie Trollhouse was quick to point out that the threat of bad weather is undoubtedly the fault of Midway’s Labo*r council and K*ir St*rmer.

“I was a Tory MP for ten years and during that time it hardly ever snowed. Now we already have a weather warning saying that Midway is about to be transformed into a freezing socialist-style hell not seen since the last Ice Age.”

“This can only be the fault of Midway’s Labo*r council and K*ir’s St*rmer’s incompetence.”

“People of Midway need to sign a recall petition to get rid of our totally useless Labo*r MP Skippi Myrtle after her vicious racist rant on Twitter, which is surely a serious criminal offence under Two-Tier K*ir’s war on hate tweets.”

“Then they can vote me back in again. Pleeeeeeeeeaase!”

Saw the seasonal scare-story headline and just KNEW what the usual trolls were going to be saying in the comments section. 

And sure enough, WFP blah blah blah...
Seems even the weather is a dog-whistle for them, now.

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Chad Grindr wrote:
Let's hope that all the pensioners are not too afraid to put their heating on now and manage to keep warm, despite the efforts of this evil Labo*r government

👍+112

Aunt Nartsie replied:
And I would suspect that the pensioners that voted for St*rmer and his foul mob would never do so again. Vote Gargoyle!

👍+98

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
"All the pensioners..." I think most pensioners who used to receive the Winter Fuel Allowance won't be scared they can't afford to run their heating. I don't suppose you will be.

👎-165

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from a typically stupid remoaning socialist La**ur-supporting woke snowflake. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you K**r St**mer-loving, La**urite bum-boy.

👍👍👍+534

Boring Welsh Tory wrote:
Climate change is a myth promoted by left-wing political activists intent on bringing down our wonderful fossil fuel industry in order to impose their own communist utopia and enslave all to the alien lizard people fronted by George Soros and Kamala Harris. I know that because I read about it on the Internet.:
The-Elsevier-Book-Of-Right-Wing-Conspiracy-Theories-co.uk

Global temperatures are, in fact, falling and the polar ice caps are growing at an alarming rate
Made-up-climate-data-produced-by-fossil-fuel-companies that-only-dopey-welshsters-believe.co.uk

I live in Wales and when I look out of the window of my Mum’s attic where I’ve lived for the past forty years, it’s still raining. That proves that climate isn’t changing.
My-sad-lived-experience-is-universally-applicable.com

👍+1

Gonads replied:
Climate is changing but you aren’t. You’re still a boring know-it-all tw*t

👍👍+78

Super Small Dick wrote:
Thanks to St*armer taking away my heating allowance I will probably die from hypothermia soon like millions of other UK pensioners. Meanwhile, millions of illegal immigrants will be nice and warm in their luxury hotels that I’ve helped pay for.

👍+214

Tornado Watcher replied:
Come off it. You used to spend your heating allowance money in the nearest “Spoons”, just like all the other well-off Tory pensioners who populate the comments section here.

👎-134

Super Small Dick replied:
So what if I did? It’s the principle that matters. And what about those illegal immigrants, eh?

👍+90

Tornado Watcher replied:
What about them? This article was about bad weather (or lack of), not “illegal immigrants”.

👎-89

Neil Barse replied:
At last Tornado Chaser confesses the truth about themselves before slinking away to stew in his own UK-hating demented leftist bile. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Chaser posts on here. As usual, I win the argument by my relentlessly logical and calm, reasoned, factual responses, unlike the hate-filled rants of far-leftist Guardian-reading pillocks like Tornado Chaser.

👍👍👍+346

Tornado Watcher replied:
Ah, Neil Barse, the very muse of Shakespeare himself.
“Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale, her infinite variety”…

👎-234

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is Tornado Watcher. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍👍+1024

Tornado Watcher replied:
Quod erat demonstrandum…

👎-10

Neil Barse replied:
Your inevitable vile abuse is now written in French, the language of pathetic leftist remoaning socialist scum that is so often prevalent on this forum.

👍+98

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:
I see that K*ir St*rmer is encouraging his MPs to debate the question of assisted dying. I dare say his government is also hoping for a severe winter now he has cut the winter heating allowance. Both are part of the Labo*r master plan for easing the pressure of the NHS, no doubt. Fortunately I am rich enough not to care about the NHS or poor people, although R*chel Re*ves is doing her best to make things otherwise.

👍+63

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all parties are corrupt unlike Russian oligarch money which is good for UK, which will be good news for all Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+18

 

Storm Darren: Heavy Winds Cause Chaos On Roads And Railways In Midway

Heavy winds brought by Storm Darren continue to impact Midway today.

Twigs in Midway road horror shock weather delays

Fallen debris has caused chaos and delays across the region’s roads and railways network, with a yellow weather warning still in place.

The M234 was shut London-bound for five minutes this morning between Junctions 1 and 3 because of a few branches on the carriageway, which were cleared by about 9.30am.

At the same time, South-Eastern said rail services were suspended for 15 minutes between Chattingham and Stroochester due to the winter tradition of a cheap Argos kiddies trampoline being blown on to the line.

Branches on side of road: all K*ir St*rmer's fault...

A few twigs had also come down in Goering Road, Rainingham, and in Mengele Drive, Buxley.

The weather warning has been extended until 6pm, with the Met Office reporting winds may reach speeds of as high as 50mph.

Niglet the Gargoyle, owner of the government-in-waiting the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC^©™®, and MP for the Midway constituency of Claptout-On-Sea, blamed Ke*r St*rmer and the Labo*r government for the latest storms which have devastated the country.

Gargoyle: "Blame Labour for winter weather...."

“Freezing weather, wind and now rain has hit the Midway Towns in the past few weeks, and yet St*rmer and his Labo*r government have still done nothing to prevent the onset of winter,” said the Gargoyle. “How much more winter weather do we need before this government acts?”

“Instead, all they have done is completely abolish the winter fuel allowance, thereby condemning millions of pensioners to a freezing death. And those that are left will be forced to agree to euthanasia under evil St*rmer’s End Of Life Bill. That’s if they haven’t all starved to death by then as a result of all UK farmers going bankrupt overnight as a result of Labo*r’s IHT changes,” said the Gargoyle from his North American residence.

“When my Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC^©™® is voted into power in 2029, our Contract On The People promises to abolish winter. We’ll also abolish getting old and sick, by selling the NHS to my rich American chums. And rich people will never have to pay taxes again, let alone IHT.”

“You know it’s all lies, but the Great British electorate just loved being lied to,” laughed the Gargoyle.

“The Brexit referendum proved that. Sure, Labour may be liars and the Tories are huge liars, but the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC^©™® are just absolutely outrageously colossal liars.”

“So vote Gargoyle for the biggest lies of all…”

 

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy. 

Gonads wrote:
I see the MORON’s team of unpaid interns are on the ball once again.
It’s Storm “Darragh”, not “Darren”.
The standards of journalism on here these days are just (this comment has been edited because it does not meet our community standards – The Editor).

👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎-14000

Neil Barse replied:
Yet more far-left lies, gaslighting, sealioning, distraction tactics, vile insults and disinformation from a bitter and twisted leftist Labo*r loser. You idiot leftists must be mentally ill to twist and distort the truth the way you do, trying to convince the gullible that storms are given weirdo woke names in line with a typically leftist LBQTXYZ agenda. You’re fooling nobody but yourself, which is easy for someone as stupid as you are. It’s just something we all expect from the sad and demented socialist trolls that plague this forum with their lies, insults and whataboutery.

👍👍+298

Tornado Watcher replied:
No, Neil, really. It’s Storm Darragh. Honestly.

👎-231

Yu Rong replied:
Oooh get you and your tantrums

👍+76

Neil Barse replied:
Once again Tornado Watcher confesses the truth about themselves before slinking away to stew in his own UK-hating demented leftist bile. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Watcher posts on here. As usual, I win the argument by my relentlessly logical and calm, reasoned, factual responses, unlike the hate-filled rants of far-leftist Guardian-reading pillocks like Tornado Watcher.

👍👍👍+613

Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
Talking of lies and disinformation, I see the MORON gives Niglet the Gargoyle a free rein to spout a load of nonsense about the WFA, the End of Life Bill and IHT. As usual.
The facts are as follows:
Millions of pensioners will not be freezing to death this winter.
No-one will be forced to agree to be euthanised.
And a few rich landowners having to pay a bit of inheritance tax on their sheltered wealth isn’t going to cause food shortages in the UK. Unlike Niglet’s Brexit…

👎👎-278

Yu Rong replied:
That's not what it says in the Daily Mail, The Daily Telegraph, the Daily Express and on GBNews. Try checking your facts before posting your lies and disinformation on here.

👍+167

Chad Grindr replied:
WHY DO YOU LEFTIST LOONS NEED TO SHOUT ALL OF THE TIME? SHOUTY SHOUTY SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT that’s all you stupid bed-wetting lefties ever do.

👍+145

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I’m not shouting at anyone…

👎-143

Chad Grindr replied:
MORE SHOUTY LIES FROM THE MORON’S PREMIER FAR-LEFT IDIOT! WHY DON’T YOU JUST STOP SHOUTING! NO-ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR BED-WETTING WOKISH DRIVEL ANYWAY!

👍+78

Super Small Dick wrote:
My local Tory councillor tells me that all pensioners will be forced to join chain gangs and made to work on the roads to fix potholes if they want to keep getting a state pension. Meanwhile, millions of illegal immigrants are crossing the Channel in small boats every week, bringing their foreign monsoon weather over here and getting housed in luxury hotels at the taxpayer’s expense. What a shambles. Four more years of this turgid drivel. I look forward to voting REFORM.

👍+378

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next UK elections because all other UK parties are corrupt Nazi gangster dictatorships who imprison anyone who criticises them on social media and condemns millions of old people to death while rest of world watches with horror unlike true democracy of Russia as led by global champion of freedom dear Mr. Putin and his rich friends.

👍+18

Midway Braced For Freezing Blizzard Storm Disaster Conditions

Midway set for possible arctic hell...

Midway is bracing itself for freezing Arctic conditions after one weather forecast website we read about in a fellow loony right-wing newspaper hinted at a chance of snow in the next ten days.

Temperatures are set to plummet to a freezing hell of 2° overnight, which might lead to chaos on Midway’s roads if the temperature was to fall another 10 degrees and it actually started snowing.

The heavy snowfall fifteen years ago brought much of Midway to a stand-still, and the situation looks set to worsen if snow starts falling.

At least two inches settled across the area after the snowfall which started at about 4pm on 5^th December 2010 and another heavy snowfall which had already started that morning (Thursday), with about half an inch falling in 15 minutes.

The snow caused chaos for drivers, with people being forced to abandon their vehicles across the whole of Midway.

Killer blizzard terror...maybe...

Back then, buses were still replacing trains, although a spokesman today said “the service depends on the condition of the roads, which are not expected to be hazardous for another few weeks”.

Midway Council has announced that its refuse and recycling collection is currently under review, although that has nothing to do with the weather.

Midway Police are advising motorists to only travel if necessary if it does actually snow, as any snowfall could turn to ice, making driving conditions in many parts hazardous.

Chief Inspector Mike Grabber, head of Midway Police's roads policing unit, said: "Driving in snow and on icy roads is very difficult, even for experienced drivers.”

"Tyres can lose traction when the road surface is wet or icy, which can result in skidding and a loss of control of the vehicle.”

"Drivers need to ask themselves whether their journey is necessary if there is very heavy snowfall. If motorists do have to travel they should take a fully charged mobile phone, food, water and warm clothes with them in case they get stranded, quick recovery cannot be guaranteed in periods of severe weather."

Midway river freezes over in imaginary winter hell...

“However, as there’s virtually no risk of any snow in the next few weeks, we suggest people stop worrying about scare stories in stupid Tory news sites…” 

No schools or nurseries in Midway are closed, despite the vanishingly small risk of bad weather.

A spokesman for Tesco said, “there’s no need whatsoever to panic buy. There’s no imminent threat of bad weather in the next couple of weeks, despite a certain local news-site trying to drum up panic to boost its “clicks”.”

ex-MP Kylie Trollhouse: All Labo*r's fault...

Former Stroochester MP Kylie Trollhouse was quick to point out that the threat of bad weather is undoubtedly the fault of Midway’s Labo*r council and K*ir St*rmer.

“I was a Tory MP for ten years and during that time it hardly ever snowed. Now we already have a weather warning saying that Midway is about to be transformed into a freezing socialist-style hell not seen since the last Ice Age.”

“This can only be the fault of Midway’s Labo*r council and K*ir’s St*rmer’s incompetence.”

“People of Midway need to sign a recall petition to get rid of our totally useless Labo*r MP Skippi Myrtle after her vicious racist rant on Twitter, which is surely a serious criminal offence under Two-Tier K*ir’s war on hate tweets.”

“Then they can vote me back in again. Pleeeeeeeeeaase!”

 Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Chad Grunter wrote:
I’m sure the usual leftist climate-change loons will be claiming that cold weather is down to global warming rather than just “weather”.

👍+124

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
Man-made climate change is a genuine phenomenon that threatens our entire way of life. Continuing to deny it means we will continue to fail to address it.

👎-165

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from a typically stupid remoaning socialist La**ur-supporting woke snowflake. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you K**r St**mer-loving, La**urite bum-boy.

👍👍👍+534

Boring Welsh Tory wrote:
Climate change is a myth promoted by left-wing political activists intent on bringing down our wonderful fossil fuel industry in order to impose their own communist utopia and enslave all to the alien lizard people fronted by George Soros and Kamala Harris. I know that because I read about it on the Internet.:
The-Elsevier-Book-Of-Right-Wing-Conspiracy-Theories-co.uk

Global temperatures are, in fact, falling and the polar ice caps are growing at an alarming rate
Made-up-climate-data-produced-by-fossil-fuel-companies that-only-dopey-welshsters-believe.co.uk

I live in Wales and when I look out of the window of my Mum’s attic where I’ve lived for the past forty years, it’s still raining. That proves that climate isn’t changing.
My-sad-lived-experience-is-universally-applicable.com

👍+1

Gonads replied:
Climate is changing but you aren’t. You’re still a boring know-it-all tw*t

👍👍+78

Super Small Dick wrote:
Thanks to St*armer taking away my heating allowance I will probably die from hypothermia soon like millions of other UK pensioners. Meanwhile, millions of illegal immigrants will be nice and warm in their luxury hotels that I’ve helped pay for.

👍+214

Tornado Watcher replied:
Come off it. You used to spend your heating allowance money in the nearest “Spoons”, just like all the other well-off Tory pensioners who populate the comments section here.

👎-134

Super Small Dick replied:
So what if I did? It’s the principle that matters. And what about those illegal immigrants, eh?

👍+90

Tornado Watcher replied:
What about them? This article was about bad weather (or lack of), not “illegal immigrants”.

👎-89

Neil Barse replied:
At last Tornado Chaser confesses the truth about themselves before slinking away to stew in his own UK-hating demented leftist bile. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Chaser posts on here. As usual, I win the argument by my relentlessly logical and calm, reasoned, factual responses, unlike the hate-filled rants of far-leftist Guardian-reading pillocks like Tornado Chaser.

👍👍👍+346

Tornado Watcher replied:
Ah, Neil Barse, the very muse of Shakespeare himself.
“Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale, her infinite variety”…

👎-234

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is Tornado Watcher. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍👍+1024

Tornado Watcher replied:
Quod erat demonstrandum…

👎-10

Neil Barse replied:
Your inevitable vile abuse is now written in French, the language of pathetic leftist remoaning socialist scum that is so often prevalent on this forum.

👍+98

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:
I see that K*ir St*rmer is encouraging his MPs to debate the question of assisted dying. I dare say his government is also hoping for a severe winter now he has cut the winter heating allowance. Both are part of the Labo*r master plan for easing the pressure of the NHS, no doubt. Fortunately I am rich enough not to care about the NHS or poor people, although R*chel Re*ves is doing her best to make things otherwise.

👍+63

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all parties are corrupt unlike Russian oligarch money which is good for UK, which will be good news for all Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+18

 

Unusual ‘mammatus clouds’ spotted glowing orange and red during sunset over Midway...

An “unusual” formation of bumpy clouds was spotted over the Midway skyline glowing a vibrant red at sunset.

Stock photo of funny-looking clouds...

The phenomenon was captured stretching across the county from Stroochester, Chattingham, Rainingham, the Groan Peninsula and Claptout-on-Sea last night.

Residents across the towns shared pictures of the formation, with many suggesting they could be mammatus clouds.

According to the Met Office, mammatus clouds are some of the most unusual and distinctive formations and are often featured in local newspapers on a slow news day.

They usually form in association with large cumulonimbus clouds, more commonly known as thunderclouds, which extend high into the sky in towers or plumes.

Mandy Gormless; "wants compensation..."

Mother-of-six Mandy Gormless, of Chattingham, said: “They were scary, I’ve not seen anything like that in all the years I’ve lived here, except when I did some of that super-strong weed I got from my dealer.”

“I thought the world was ending. Now I’ve Post Traumatic Cloud Disorder. I want compensation…”

Rob Boring also witnessed the phenomenon.

Rob Boring: Boring...

“I was driving along the coast from Claptout On Sea towards Groan village, taking the A902 because the B3415 is a slightly longer route and you get to drive past the interesting Norman church which I always slow to take a look at as the speed limit is only 20 mph anyway which I think is too slow for what is really a very straight road and then there was this huge downpour from exceptionally dark clouds only I don’t know if they were mammatus clouds because it was raining so hard I didn’t look. Moments later the sun was beaming down, the glare from the road made it very tricky to drive and we needed to drive at half the speed limit.

“About three rainbows could be seen hanging over the channel and it wasn't long afterwards these cloud formations briefly appeared but they didn’t look like mammatus, more like your standard Stratocumulus if you ask me.”

Typically, turbulence within the cumulonimbus cloud will cause mammatus shape to form.

The sunset glowing through the clouds sent them a vibrant red and orange colour.

Sally Simple, who saw some clouds over Stroochester, said: “It would have been amazing to see something like that if I’d seen it. But I didn’t. I’ve never seen anything like that.”

Given that we couldn’t get anything sensible from local residents, we did what we always do and went on Facebook instead.

Another stock photo of funny-looking clouds...

One Facebook user said she saw something similar once in Rainingham some years ago and described the clouds as “fascinating”.

After explaining how they are formed, another commenter said the clouds were “very pretty and not seen super often”.

“One of my favourite cloud types,” she added.

Another commenter described them as “so weird but pretty cool”. 

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Wankenator wrote:

A typical woke Labo*r stunt, turning the sky red and filling it with woke LGBTXYZ rainbows. No wonder Snowflake St*rmer and R*eves are having to rob pensioners to pay for it all.

👍+22

Super Small Dick wrote:

Meanwhile another 300 small boats packed with illegal immigrants arrived on our shores yesterday. St*rmer has been on office for nearly two months now and everything is still shite and still the boats keep coming. Time for another general election. St*rmer OUT!!!

👍+82

Daily Mail Bob wrote:

These clouds are all the fault of illegal immigrants bringing their foreign weather over with them in their boats and all st*rmer does is roll the red carpet out for them typical labo*r typical british weather isn’t good enough for st*rmer and his communist revolutionaries no he has to go and fill the skies with foreign clouds and don’t get me started about rainbows cos we all know what they stand for and (this comment has been edited because it is too tedious and demented even for us – Ed)

👍👍+236

Kentiegirl replied:

My god you loonies even blame clouds on illegal immigrants how demented can you (this comment has been edited because it is too rational for the MORON – Ed.)

👎👎👎-324

Boring Welsh Tory wrote:

Mammatus clouds form when cold air sinks and descends into warmer air, causing water vapour to condense into a bubbly shape. They are often associated with cumulonimbus clouds, which are responsible for strong storms. Mammatus clouds form when turbulence in a cumulonimbus cloud causes cold air to descend, reversing the normal process of cloud formation.

The name "mammatus" comes from the Latin word mamma, which means breast. Mammatus clouds are usually made of ice, but can also be a mixture of ice and liquid water, or almost entirely liquid water. They can appear around, before, or after severe weather. Individual formations can remain visible for 10 to 15 minutes, while a whole cluster can last from 15 minutes to a few hours.

I have never seen them myself because I don’t like leaving my Mum’s attic where I live in case I get attacked and my brain gets subsumed by the evil lizard people who work for Bill Gates and the world wide socialist Illuminati.

👍+1

Gonads replied:

“The name "mammatus" comes from the Latin word mamma, which means breast.”

Or “tit”.

Like you.

👍👍👍👍+908

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in next elections because all political England parties are same and Russian oligarch money is good for UK and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+12