Our Undercover Intellectual acknowledges that the Northern Lights over Midway may have looked spectacular - but not if you trusted the Met Office guidance…
It seems that last Friday evening, there was a spectacular display of that rare atmospheric phenomenon, the Aurora Borealis, which apparently was visible even through the murky air of Midway.
However, as I had been indulging in (quite) a few pints of
Hunt’s Old Cherrypicker
(supposedly a strong ale but in truth, rather watery yet always palatable to
the faithful) at the Lodge, I was completely dead to the world by midnight.
This, of course, is all the fault of the Met Office. This hive of
politically-correct wokery is (as all right-thinking people know) a mine of socialist
misinformation, run as it is by highly-qualified atmospheric scientists,
meteorological experts and other assorted lazy left-wing academics of the sort
so correctly despised
by that great Conservative intellectual, Michael Gove.
But when a family member flagged up the potential of a bit of Northern Lights
action in the skies last Friday night, I went to the apparently-trusted weather
people. With all their high-tech gadgetry they’d be able to give me a pretty
clear answer, I assumed.
 |
| Stock picture of Aurora Borealis |
I was wrong.
There was, as a tweet from the esteemed meteorologists told me, “a good chance of seeing the
So I got happily drunk on Friday, safe in the knowledge that without the necessary camera gear and only reliant on a “perhaps” I would not be missing anything.
Yet when I finally awoke on Saturday afternoon, I was assailed by photographic images in the newspapers and social media, full of vibrant swathes of colour from the previous night’s Aurora Borealis.
So entirely thanks to the Met Office’s inability to control (or even accurately predict, for Heaven’s sake!) the interaction of the Earth’s complex magnetic field with the storm of charged particles from completely random and unpredictable random solar flares, I was too inebriated to witness this once-in-a-lifetime event. Mr. Gove was so right when he said that “we are tired of experts”, especially ones as useless as those employed by the Met Office.
Why does our government continue to fund these utterly ineffectual leftie buffoons?
These champions of “diversity” have long been pushing their woke agenda – they are quick enough to allow “rainbows” to parade their LGBTXYZ nonsense across our English skies, for instance!
Yet they fail to provide an accurate forecasting service for completely variable and complex events such as the weather or, indeed, the Aurora Borealis. It’s pathetic and inexcusable.
Time to shut down the Met Office and pass the savings on as tax breaks to rich people like myself!