Media disappointment as Gargoyle declines to stand as election candidate

Niglet the Gargoyle: click-bait gold

Niglet the Gargoyle, owner and sole director of the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs PLC ™©® Party announced that he would not be standing as a candidate in the forthcoming general election.

“Having stood for parliament seven times and failed to get elected every time, it is clear that the great British public is far too thick to appreciate my genius”, said the gargoyle earlier today. “In one election I even came second to a guy dressed as a haddock for Christ’s sake, so I guess democracy just isn’t for me…”

“Instead, I intend to carry on hanging around roof-tops, spewing out effluent onto anyone passing by, just like I always do”, he added. “It’s what I do best, after all. I’m a gargoyle”.

”And anyway, spewing out effluent is much easier than actually having to have reasoned political opinions based on facts, or being accountable for anything I say. All I have to do is feed the emotional prejudices of credulous idiots, grab a few headlines with outrageous garbage, and I’m guaranteed wall-to-wall coverage on the BBC as the self-appointed 'voice of the people’ just like I have been for the past 10 years.”

Sir Paul Mental

Owner and editor of the MORON, Sir Paul Mental, hopes that the gargoyle will reconsider his decision.

“Niglet is click-bait gold,” he said. “We really need his brand of unsupportable far-right bollocks to drive our internet traffic. It’ll be a dull old election without his blatant lies, exaggerations, insults and general shit-stirring hatred of anyone who isn’t a rich white male English home counties pensioner.”

Kylie Trollhouse MP

“I blame Midway’s Labour Council,” said Kylie Trollhouse, Stroochester’s Conservative MP. “They’ve got absolutely nothing to do with it, but blaming Midway’s Labour Council is my default position for anything I don’t like or don’t understand. Which is pretty much everything…”


Comments: 

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Gonads wrote:
I bet MORON staffers are upset. If Gargoyle stands, then they can easily fill their quota of click-bait comment-generating articles without having to do much work. The green party are also prominent in a neighbouring county and they actually have an MP in parliament, why don't they get a single article or opinion piece. Is it because (this comment has been shortened because we don’t like it – Ed.)

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Yu Rong wrote:
Personally, I am sad that he is not standing. Since Liz Truss was shamefully ejected from office the country's politics has gone so Left wing to the point of utter madness that it needs bringing back to the middle. You need some reasonably far right characters in the mix to get a sensible average. They will have my vote as there is not a chance I would vote for any other party (except perhaps the Tories, of course) at the moment.

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DailyMailBob wrote:
The country is being overrun go to Stroochester high street and see the truth it's not imagined it's real and coming to your village soon I honestly don't know why politicians have done it every major Anglo country was relatively peaceful and successful without large scale multiculturalism all it's doing is creating division where none existed before and I know that’s the case because I read it in the Daily Mail.

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GreyMondeoMan replied:
"The country is being overrun". The MORON is being overrun by far -right contributors.

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You Rong replied:
It’s OK, GreyMondeoMan is single-handedly balancing the scales on that front.

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Chad Grunter replied:
Out-numbering the Far Left contributors such as yourself GreyMondeoMan. But fortunately, the sensible middle ground contributors such as I, who vote Tory and think that all immigrants should be sent to Rwanda and that Labo*r-voting scum such as you should be locked up, out-number your kind.

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GreyMondeoMan replied:
Not one of your best efforts*

*not that any of your efforts are good.

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Chad Grunter replied:
And yet still ten times better than anything of the cretinous drivel and usually bigoted remarks you submit on these comments threads GreyMondeo Man. Ultra left wing tossers like you can’t hold any sort of debate without resorting to vile insults, you half-witted, Ke*r St*rmer-loving bum bandit ;-)

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Neil Barse replied:
It's easy to explain GreyMondeoMan's posts. They are from his deep seated Far Left anti British antagonist mind set.

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You Rong replied:
You lie all the time GreyMondeoMan yet you can't stop your Far Left anti British antagonist taunts can you. And I think you are wonderful, Neil Barse.

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Neil Barse replied:
I think you are wonderful too, You Rong

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