 |
| Stock photo of police action at night. |
Over two hundred riot police descended on Chattingham High Street this evening in order to contain a massive protest that had been planned by groups opposed to incidents of alleged littering by illegal immigrants.
 |
| Sid and Elsie Dreadful; mass protesters |
The protesters shouted the usual three-word slogans for around half-an-hour (“Immigrants Go Home” / “Stop The Boats” / “Get Brexit Done” /. “We Love Nigel” ) until Mr. O’Braincell attempted to lift up a paving stone and throw it through the window of the curry house.
Before police could react, however, Mr. O’ Braincell collapsed, crying another three-word slogan (“Arrrgh Me Back!” / “Arrrgh Me Back!”).
Mr, Geeza Bakander, owner of the Steaming Turban restaurant, rushed out to confront the protester.
 |
| Sean O' Braincell; bad back, no neck |
“I can’t think what came over him,” said Mr. Bakander later. “Mr. O’ Braincell comes in here at least twice a week for a takeaway. He’s usually a very nice and polite man. I think he needs to stop reading the Daily Mail, he really seems to believe that rubbish these days…”
An ambulance attended, with paramedics Mr. Gurusuwama Anderrawep and Ms. Sumarie Rishamann dealing promptly with Mr. O’ Braincell’s injury.
“Bloody marvellous our Great British NHS is!” said the departing Mr. O’ Braincell. “Won’t ‘ave anyone sayin’ a word against it, or their medics!”
The demonstration came to end when the remaining protesters (Sid and Elsie Dreadful) attempted to charge police lines. This turned out to be due to Mr. Dreadful’s urgent need to find “The Facilities” (“It’s his bladder, plays him up something rotten,” explained Mrs. Dreadful).
Several spectators watched the proceedings with amusement.
 |
| Mandy Gormless: wants compensation |
“We all feel let down, we thought they’d be lobbing rocks at coppers an’ torchin’ a few cars an’ stuff like that, but we got nuffin’.”
“I want compensation….”
“Thanks to prompt action by our forces, a major disturbance was successfully avoided,” a Midway Police spokesman said later.
“In fact, it was a bit boring. We were hoping these old Nazis would put up a bit of a fight but they all seemed a bit clapped-out. We prefer the lefties, they usually have a bit more gumption like that old bird we sorted out a few weeks ago…”
Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or
delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial
policy.
TruthTwister wrote:
Looks like policing strategy works! Congrats two-tier Keir!
Meanwhile, in other parts of the
👍+67
Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:
That protest is almost cute it is so ineffective. Like primary school children protesting about the amount of skittles in a bag.
I bet the Old Bill couldn't believe their luck when the promised rent-a-mob turned out to 4 Primark vests, 2 pairs of Reebok Classics and a dirty Burberry baseball cap propped up by a badly drawn prison tattoo of Tommy Robinson's dog.
I can assure Mr. Starmer that should he ever attempt to compel rich people such as myself to pay our taxes, the resultant insurrection will be far more effective. And stylish.
👍+63
Chad Grindr replied:
These are not riots, they are merely protesters expressing their perfectly justifiable opinions, unlike the vile far-leftists from Just Stop Oil, who have quite rightly just been jailed for five years for even just threatening to cause mass traffic disruption.
Destroying property, looting shops, assaulting police officers and attempting to burn down a hotel full of immigrants and their children is of little significance when compared with the heinous crimes of JSO.
👍👍👍👍+6987
GreyMondeoMan wrote:
It looks like our new Labour Government has handled this attempted right-wing insurrection quite well. I suppose the right-wing press will have to go back to pathetic points-scoring by digging up silly 15-year old tweets by Labour MPs, or by carping on about rash remarks made by Labour councillors in the heat of the moment.
👎👎👎👎👎👎-7812
Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.
👍👍+765
Yu Rong replied:
Thank you for such a wonderful evening at the Young Conservative’s Club (and afterwards!). Even though your toothbrush moustache was a bit tickly! I’m looking forward to having our baby. But why have you dropped your other user name?
👍+2
Neil Barse replied:
I never use my real name. That way, there can be no consequences.
👍+1
Yu Rong replied:
You mean your real name isn’t Neil Barse !?
👍+1
Neil Barse replied:
Of course not, you silly girl!
👍+1
Yu Rong replied:
You bastard! You Tories are all the same! You’re just like Boris!!!!
👍+1
Neil Barse replied:
Yep! And you can pay for your own abortion as well!
👍+1
Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says
for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all Russian oligarch money
is good for
👍+12