Read the latest news from around Midway, all given a rabid right-wing slant by our MORON staff - and its rabid right-wing readers!

Thursday, August 8, 2024

Stroochester Labour MP Linked To Environmental Trade Scandal…

An in-depth investigation by the MORON’s political correspondent has unearthed evidence that Skippi Myrtle, Stroochester’s new Labo*r MP, was responsible for a major environmental pollution incident with possible adverse international trade implications.

Skippi Myrtle MP - racist fly-tipper
After weeks of combing through Ms. Myrtle’s old “tweets” our reporter eventually found that in May 2009, Myrtle noted that her “shoulder bag had split and loads of old tissues and a crisp packet blew everywhere. Couldn’t pick it all up as my train was just coming in. Felt really embarrassed. Bloody cheap foreign bag, serves me right for buying shoddy Chinese rubbish…”

When confronted by the MORON, Ms. Myrtle seemed unrepentant.

“Jeez mate, you lot are getting desperate if that’s the worst you can come up with,” she said.

“Christ chum, I was only sixteen back then. OK, maybe I shouldn’t have slagged our Chinese trade colleagues off but blimey, that bag really was a load of old  plastic shite...”

“Now g’day to you cobber, gotta run. I’ve got some benefit cuts for pensioners that Kier wants me to vote though…”

Ex- MP Kylie Trollhouse: "All Labour's Fault..."
Kylie Trollhouse, the former Conservative MP for Stroochester, said she was “shocked & concerned by the views” held by Ms. Myrtle.

“She had no concern airing them publicly when working for a Labour MP, only deleting them after public pressure,” Ms. Trollhouse said on Elon Musk’s totally unbiased X right-wing propaganda site.

“It’s typical of “Two-Tier Kier” to criticise Tory MPs for being corrupt, racist, bullying sex-pests and a bunch of liars and philanderers who are intent on allowing their business chums to milk the tax-payer dry and destroy the UK’s environment.”

“Yet he says nothing when one of his own MPs is found guilty of fly-tipping and casual racism.”

“Skippi Myrtle should resign and the election re-run until the Stroochester constituency finally votes for me again.  Pleeeeeeease….”

We contacted Labour’s press office for a comment, but they just rolled their eyes and laughed at us. You won’t be laughing when the UK’s right-wing national press picks this up and runs with it, will you, you smug leftie bastards.

 

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

The usual extreme left wing crazies here are literally doing a contortionist dance to avoid calling this what is...ableist, racist, vicious, nasty, toxicity...unless of course you are a Labour MP...then it is a youthful, error of judgment...too funny.

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Gonads replied:

"Ableist racist". Whoever would have thought that KGPE would turn out to be such a snowflake!

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Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied:

Do not mock me, little boy. The last person on here to do so paid a high price for the privilege

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GreyMondeoMan replied:

The usual extreme right wing crazies are dancing with joy that an isolated incidence of Labour xenophobia has been unearthed after a decade.

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-786

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied:

So...now it is an 'Isolated Incident.' ? Good to know. Look forward to you using that one when one of the other colour parties get caught in the same way. Dear god you people are something.

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Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

Well, Two Tier Keir. I await your indignation and swift justice.

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GreyMondeoMan replied:

He might be a bit busy at the moment, what with all of your right-wing chums rioting, assaulting police and destroying property at the moment.

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Chad Grindr replied:

These are not riots, they are merely protesters expressing their perfectly justifiable opinions, unlike your vile far-leftist chums from Just Stop Oil, who have quite rightly just been jailed for five years for even just threatening to cause mass traffic disruption. Attempts to burn down a hotel full of immigrants and their children pales into insignificance when compared with the heinous crimes of JSO.

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TheTruthTwister wrote:

I always think online comments and actions show the real character of a person. In one tweet she's managed to offend a whole nation and the Chinese community. Impressive even for an MP, but then she has Two Tier Kier as her boss. She's learning from the best.

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GreyMondeoMan replied:

“Offend a whole nation”? Really? Though I expect a mundane tweet from 15 years ago will give the right-wing press something to crow about in the absence of the sort of corruption, racism, bullying, sexual misbehaviour and gaslighting that the previous 14 years of Tory government have entertained us with.

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David Simile the Second replied:

A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+7651

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all Russian oligarch money is good for UK, which will be good news for all the Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

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