Pauline On Politics - Labo*r's Autumn Budget...

Our political correspondent, Pauline Popkins, gives us her considered and unbiased analysis of Chancellor R*chel Re*ves's first budget as Labo*r chancellor...

ARRRRRRRRGHHH!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! LEFTIST BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!! HATE! HATE!! HATE!!! With one swish of her red box, evil COMMUNIST ANTI-GROWTH COALITION member Chancellor R*chel Re*ves has COMPLETELY DESTROYED THE UK ECONOMY. It’s nothing less than STARMERGEDDON!!!!!

Businesses are REELING under the MASSIVE INCREASE in employers’ national insurance contributions by a LOONY SOCIALIST ANTI-GROWTH 1.2 percentage points to 15% from April 2025. Add that into a DEEP-STATE WOKE increase in the national minimum wage to a MIND-BLOWING £12.21 an hour, and BUSINESSES WILL BE FLEEING THE UK IN DROVES!!!

Except that they can’t because EVIL RE*VES has even made sure that private jets will attract an extra 50% air passenger duty!!! Up to £450 per passenger for a flight!!!! HOW ARE MULTI-MILLIONAIRES SUCH AS RISHI SUNAK AND HIS WIFE EXPECTED TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO FLY TO CALIFORNIA NOW???!!!!

Evil Socialist Chancellor R*chel Re*ves...

HOW CAN UK BUSINESSES AND THEIR OWNERS BE EXPECTED TO SURVIVE IF THEY CAN’T PAY THEIR EMPLOYEES PEANUTS????!!! EH????!!! EH????!!!

And not only that, LABO*R’S CLASS WAR ON BRITAIN’S ENTREPRENEURS continues with a MASSIVE HIKE in Capital Gains Tax. The lower rate will be raised from 10% to a MINDBENDING 18%, and the higher rate from 20% to a DEVASTATING 24%. Even worse, business and agricultural assets worth more than £1m will attract a COLLOSAL inheritance tax hit of 20%.

WHAT’S THE POINT OF BILLIONAIRES BUYING UP THE UK’S FARMLAND IN ORDER TO AVOID IHT IF EVIL SOCIALIST LOONY R*EVES IS GOING TO TAX THEM ON IT???!!! UTTER MADNESS!!!!

And in a move that TOTALLY DESTROYS THE BRITISH EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM, VAT will be brought in on private school fees from January 2025. This SHAMELESS DISPLAY OF ENVY POLITICS will see the playing fields of Eton turned into centres for MILLIONS OF MUSLIM TERRORIST ASYLUM SEEKERS, as doubtless intended.

Where are the £40 billion’s worth of unfunded tax cuts that kick-started the UK economy under Liz Truss? Where are the unfunded economy-boosting national insurance cuts that Tory Chancellor Jeremy Hunt used to try and bribe middle-class people to vote Tory before the last election? EH???? EH?????

INSTEAD, EVIL SOCIALIST RE*VES IS MAKING RICH PEOPLE PAY MORE TAX??!! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ONLY POOR PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO PAY TAXES?!!!!…….

The LOONY SOCIALIST ANTI-GROWTH COALITION led by TOFU-EATING WOKERATI LEFT-WING HEDGE FUND MANAGERS, COMMUNIST BANKERS, LEFTIE LAWYERS and DEEP-STATE WOKE CIVIL SERVANTS have COMPLETELY DESTROYED THE UK’S ECONOMY in order to bring about a SOCIALIST UTOPIA!!!.......earthquakes ……. plagues of locusts ……rains of blood ……….. the Four Horseman …….. the Kraken rises............ the seas boil.........ANGELA RAYNER…………ARRRRRRRRRGHHH!!!! ……. HATE! HATE!! HATE!!!

There’s only one answer to all this. SEND THE LABOUR GOVERNMENT TO RWANDA!!!!! It’s the only language they understand!!!!!!!! EXCEPT THAT WE CAN’T!!!!……… BECAUSE THAT STOP RINGING THOSE BELLS STOP RINGING THOSE BELLS NAMBY-PAMBY WOKE SNOWFLAKE ST*RMER HAS ALREADY SCRAPPED THE RWANDA DEPORTATION SCHEME!!!!!!!

Gibber gibber meep meep bleep whirr OH RUNNING BEAR…LURVED LITTLE WHITE DOVE….WITH A LURRRRVE AS BIG AS THE SKY bibble wibble wobble OH RUNNING BEAR…LURVED LITTLE WHITE DOVE…WITH A LURRRVE THAT COULDN'T DIEEEEeeeeeyyOOOOH MY GOD my brain’s exploded!!!!

 

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Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
The shrieking right-wing press have, of course, gone completely rabid about what in reality is a sensible, pragmatic and fair (this comment has been edited because our readers may otherwise be offended by it - Ed)

👎👎👎-231

Yu Rong replied:
Another hate-filled apologist from the extreme left. This is a Labo*r budget so it must be bad. Tory budgets (such as Liz Truss’s historic £40 billion unfunded tax-cutting extravaganza, for example) are always good, of course.

👍👍👍👍+390

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid comment from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍👍+1024

Chad Grindr wrote:
So no surprise, the communist Labo*r party have now targeted the most vulnerable in our society i.e. multi-millionaire land-owners. Those people who voted this shower of leftist loons into power should hang their heads in shame. It's the classic example of take from the hard working and successful and give to the feckless and lazy. Disgusting!

👍+378

Super Small Dick wrote:
One of the private schools near me has written to all local sports clubs that hire their sports halls informing them that all sports halls are to be turned into hostels for asylum seekers. Well done Labo*r. What a shambles. Four more years of this leftist, gimmigrant-loving drivel.

👍+752

Tornado Chaser replied:
As usual, Pauline goes nuts about anything a Labour government does. I thought it was a pretty good budget for starters. Hopefully she’ll do a bit more in future to recover the trillions that mega-rich parasites have sucked out of this country during the past 15 years of Tory (this comment has been edited because our readers may otherwise be offended by it - Ed).

👎👎👎👎-944

Neil Barse replied:
Ah, the return of the bitter, leftist loser that is TC. At last Tornado Chaser confesses the truth about themselves before slinking away to stew in his own UK-hating demented leftist bile. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Chaser posts on here. As usual, I win the argument by my relentlessly logical and calm, reasoned, factual responses, unlike the hate-filled rants of far-leftist Guardian-reading pillocks like TC.

👍👍👍👍👍👍+346

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:
Removing subsidies from feckless, work-shy pensioners was a good start, a move worthy of the Conservatives at their very best. Unfortunately, Labo*r has now reverted to its true socialist nature, inflicting massive tax hikes on those people who are the engine of the UK’s economy, i.e. billionaire overseas investment trust owners and absentee UK land barons. I, for one, will be leaving the socialist hell that this country has become as soon as I can, just like I have threatened to do in the past but never have.

👍+63

Gonads replied:
Good. Don’t let the door hit you on the a*se on the way out.

👎-1

Daily Mail Bob wrote:
two tier kier st*rmer has put this budget in place after telling the tories years ago if they scrapped the WFA that thousands of pensioners would die he opposed it back then now he's got into goverment his own parties research suggests as many as 4000 pensioners will die this winter due to the WFA being taken away he presses on ahead with it then rachel r*eves puts in expenses for her heating for her 2nd home not even her 1st home and claims heating allowance you couldnt make this up but thank god the daily mail can to save 1.3 billion killing our parents our grandparents whom have paid into the system all their lives and what do we do sent 11 odd billion to Africa for climate change give already well paid train drivers and junior doctors costing 9 billion well thats 20 billion quid there thats not even mention heating all the illegal migrants in the hotels or the cost of housing all the prisoners some violent and dangerous upon their release and they have the gall to say the tories have created a 22 billion black hole and blame killing pensioners on the previous government the tories were ok but had ran their race but this is beyond a joke the tories werent too bad but this lot only 10-11 wks in are doing more damage and sticking two fingers up to working class middle class in fact the vast majority of the British public more than the last government did in 14 years thanks for not voting Tories and basically giving Labour a chance by default f*** you british public regards Kier I will destroy this country up yours says St*rmer

👍+123

Gonads replied:
What a load of (this comment has been edited for brevity – Ed)

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Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all parties are corrupt unlike Russian oligarch money which is good for UK, which will be good news for all Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+18

 

Midway Labour MP in ULEZ Illegal Immigrant Freebie Scandal

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Yu Rong wrote:
I think the MORON is absolutely wonderful and I would happily sell my parents into slavery just to make sure I could continue to read this informative and completely politically neutral and unbiased source of reliable local news with its intelligent, considered and civilised reader's comments. It would be cheap at twice the price.

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍+19831

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to buy MORON subscription as good news for all Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin and all UK political parties are corrupt unlike Russian oligarch money except REFORM which is good for UK.

👍+18

Gonads replied:
Nobody in their right mind would pay for this minimum-wage authored load of right-wing (this comment has been edited for brevity – Ed)

👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎-18132

Labo*r's First 100 Days: Claptout-On-Sea Gives Its Verdict On St*rmer's Shaky Start...

The new Labo*r government has reached the political landmark of 100 days in office. But how do voters feel it has gone?

We sent our unpaid work experience intern Molly Snippet out on the streets to speak to a carefully-selected bunch of old Tories in Midway’s Claptout-On-Sea constituency, which recently voted in Niglet the Gargoyle, owner of the Really Extreme Far Out Right-wing Maniacs UK Party®™© PLC, as its MP.

If that doesn’t allow us to come to our predetermined conclusion that Ke*r St*rmer’s first 100 days in office is an unmitigated disaster, then nothing will…

Summer may be over, but Claptout-on-Sea businessman Alf Gozzer is looking back with quiet satisfaction at a job well done at his harbour-side café.

The 16 hour days, along with the pain he suffers in his right forearm caused by constantly punching the “leftist woofters” who dare to express “woke” opinions in his establishment, have been tough, sometimes unrelenting, for months.

Alf Gozzer: "St*rmer's dun f*** all..."

For the first time in his 47 years though, he’s making good money. Moseley’s Facist Fry-Ups is the only café in the harbour area and he keeps his costs down by sourcing most of his stock from local shoplifters and other such entrepreneurs.

The accidental synergy Moseley’s Facist Fry-Ups enjoys with the harbour-side Wetherspoon’s pub is also serving him well. He sends custom their way and vice versa. The café opens at 7.00 and his regular clientele like to line their stomachs before starting their day’s drinking at the “Spoons” at 10.00, when it starts to serve alcohol. They sent him the drunks who need to sop up their beer with a fry-up and are too drunk, loud and abusive even for ‘Spoons to tolerate.

Before the Wetherspoon’s opens there are often queues outside the café, with an in/out door system to keep the customers flowing and the tills ringing.

The café is just around the corner from Urine Street, where forty years ago it was the scene of teenaged drunken brawling, vomiting and a host of other unpleasant activities when its nightclubs spilled onto the pavements. Nothing much has changed in that time. Although the teenagers have turned into old working-class Tory-voting pensioners, they still vomit, fight and swear at each other, as any visit to the Wetherspoon’s on Friday evenings will show.

The politics of the area in recent times have also drifted further to the right. In the post-war era until July, there have only been five MPs, four Tory and one UKIP. But the unrelenting, insular nastiness of the aging local population has driven away many of ethnic population, as well as many of their own children who don’t want to grow up as bitter and hopeless as their elders.

The warped and twisted stream of misinformation provided by social media and the UK’s rabid right-wing press has merely served to feed local ignorance and intolerance, which has played into the hands of populist demagogues. The success of Niglet the Gargoyle, owner of the Really Extreme Far Out Right-wing Maniacs UK Party®™© PLC here in the Claptout-on-Sea at the last election was no real surprise to anyone.

Niglet The Gargoyle: the pride of Claptout-On-Sea

Mr. Gozzer, a lifelong Tory, voted for Gargoyle in July because he was “disillusioned” by the local MP. He got his wish when Gargoyle was returned with a thumping majority of over 10,000.

“I voted for the Really Extreme Far Out Right-wing Maniacs UK Party®™© PLC UK because I got p****d off with Kylie Trollhouse (the Tory candidate). She was just too wet and leftie for me, and that was the only way to get her out,” explains the businessman. “I want illegal immigrants punished and their boats blown out of the channel, not just sent on a holiday trip to Rwanda...”

The new Labo*r government has had a rocky start, largely thanks to the UK's relentlessly pro-Tory  news outlets. Changes to pensioners’ winter fuel allowances were blown out of all proportion by the right-wing media. Similarly, rumours of a “power struggle” were gleefully exaggerated by the Daily Mail and the Telegraph, leading to the resignation of the Chief of Staff Sue Gray. “Freebies” that were perfectly acceptable for Tory politicians are now, of course, deemed as evidence of corruption and hypocrisy when the same gifts were made to senior Labo*r politicians.  The lies, corruption and incompetence of the Johnson/Truss/Sunak years have already been forgotten.

Labo*r activists are only too well aware that “saying” in opposition is a far cry from “doing “ in government, especially when the opinion of modern voters can be so easily manipulated by a media dominated by a shady, super-rich elite working to their own agenda – and one that is unconcerned for the well-being of the nation.

So, as Labo*r reaches its 100 days in office, how does Mr. Gozzer rate Sir Ke*r St*rmer’s performance?

He chuckles. Reprising the first line of Ian Dury and the Blockhead’s song, “Plaistow Patricia”: “Ar****les, ba****ds, f*****g c**ts and p***ks…”

“He’s done f**k all, less than f**k all, for small businesses. Do you realise that for every tenner I take, two quid goes straight to the government in VAT? OK, so VAT’s been in place since the Tories introduced it in 1973, but that still makes it Ke*r St*rmer’s fault in my books.”

“And wot about those illegal immigrants, comin’ over ‘ere in their boats, eh? St*rmer’s just rollin’ the red carpet out for them, putting them up in five stars hotels, and robbin’ pensioners of their heatin’ allowance to pay for it all.”

Kent County Council (KCC) goes to the polls in 2025. Given his disillusionment, will he vote?

“I always vote,” he says carefully, “and we got ourselves a proper MP now. That Niglet Gargoyle and ‘is mates will sort things out. Not that anyone’s seen ‘im ‘round ‘ere yet…”

Sid and Elsie Dreadful: Voted Gargoyle...

The Really Extreme Far Out Right-wing Maniacs UK Party®™© PLC UK also got Sid and Elsie Dreadful’s vote in July.

The married couple, both aged 89, think that Niglet the Gargoyle is the “authentic voice of the people”.

“Not that he’s shown his face around here as far as I know,” admitted Sid, “but he likes a fag and a pint and he wants to stop those boat-loads of Muslim terrorists comin’ over ‘ere to shoplift and nick all our jobs, so he must be all right...”

Elsie Dreadful is scathing about Labo*r’s first 100 days in office.

“All they’ve done is stop my heating allowance. That’s my bloody Christmas money. Sid and I only have a quarter of a million in the bank, which we’ll have to tap into to buy the prezzies for our grandkids now. And they’re lettin’ all these murderers and rapists back out on to the streets that the Tories had locked away. Yet if I complain about that on Facebook I’ll get jailed for 10 years. That’s wot the Daily Mail says anyway…”

Samuel Storey has been plying his trade as a graffiti artist long before Claptout-on-Sea’s rejection of art and culture really took off. He has been a well-known figure for the two decades he has been active in the town. Most of the local bus shelters, underpasses and road signs show evidence of his artistic contribution to the area.

Sam Storey: Typical Labo*r voter...

He is a Green Party supporter but voted Labo*r to remove the Conservatives.

Mr. Storey said that he thought Sir Ke*r St*rmer was “doin’ OK” in government and that “the Tory newspapers were just out to get him”.

“I normally vote Green. I worry about the state of our economy, our NHS, our public services and the environment. All of those are much more important than freebies - I can’t get worked up about that. It’s just a right-wing smoke screen put out by the bunch of dodgy tax-exiles who own the British media.”

“We are heading towards a catastrophe and people have got to realise that. I have nothing against means testing for the winter fuel allowance. We should be helping the people who are struggling, but instead we just get fed rubbish about “immigrants in boats”. And don’t get me started on the ULEZ…”

So we said goodbye to Mr. Storey as none of that was what we wanted to hear.

At a café a short walk from Mr Storey’s bus shelter, Tory councillor Herbert Voletrouser sits with a cigar and cup of coffee on the go.

Herbert Voletrouser: True Blue Tory...

He is as true blue as they come and stuck by Kylie Trollhouse at the general election.

Like all right-wingers, he takes himself very seriously. The former private school headmaster, now nearly 75, rarely strays from the political path on polling day.

Mr. Voletrouser said: “I was thinking about the Really Extreme Far Out Right-wing Maniacs UK Party®™© PLC UK but then I thought that there’s no point because they won’t have any influence until they merge with the Tories and Niglet the Gargoyle becomes leader of the combined party.”

He feels the controversy over freebies has really caught Sir Ke*r St*rmer on the hop.

“Labo*r went on and on about the freebies Tories took when they were in office and then it turns out they’ve been doing the very same thing. Well, OK, Labo*r didn’t hand out £14 billion of public money to their chums in COVID PPE contracts, but I’m sure they would have done had they been in power. But then we expect that sort of venality from Tories, so when they take freebies and hand out peerages and public money to their friends and donors, that’s all factored in and is perfectly OK. The Daily Mail is therefore quite right to ignore Tory venality but trumpet Labo*r’s from the rooftops.”

“And I wish Chancellor Reeves would stop going on and on about the £22 billion black hole. We Tories don’t like being reminded that we were actually pretty useless at running the nation’s economy and that the broken state of the UK really is our fault.”

He pauses and grins maliciously.

“The Daily Mail, the Daily Express, the Daily Telegraph and the Sun all say that Labo*r have managed to muck everything up in just a few weeks. They can’t all be wrong, can they…?”

Comments:

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Truth Twister wrote:
This Labo*r party has to be the worst start to a parliamentary term for any party I have ever seen in my lifetime. It's utterly shambolic. All the Tory voters that switched are now switching back, quelle surprise! Want to look at everything that has gone swimmingly well? Here goes, 22% pay rises for public sector workers with no productivity improvements, taxing the rich so much they are leaving the country, changing the Labo*r laws to make employing workers even more expensive, no immigration policy now they've scrubbed 'Rwanda', increased public sector borrowing, robbing pensioners, crime more out of control, robbing pension funds, increasing capital gains taxes. Back to the mid 70's. I was there, it wasn't pretty.

👍+78

Tornado Watcher replied:

Rich leaving the country? Changing Labo*r laws? Crime out of control? Increasing capital gains tax? Increased borrowing Robbing pensioners and pension funds? Has all of this happened yet or is it just happening in your mind? And the last five years of Tory lies, corruption and incompetence never happened then?

👎-90

Neil Barse replied:

Doubt it TW, most probably critical of Labo*r in government so far and nothing to do with what political leaning the Labo*r Party are. Eh? Eh? Do you see the Labo*r Party as Left Wing TW? Eh? Eh? The Labo*r Party of old before Blair was a party of the people for the people. IMO they have not been so since Blair's New Labo*r came too power. How to describe them now on the political spectrum, I wouldn't hazard a guess. I used too think since Blair, they were Centre to Centre Right. How do you see them from the political spectrum now TW? Eh? Eh?

👍+32

Tornado Watcher replied:

Truth Twister disagrees with you, Neil, and sees them as the Labo*r Party of the 70s. I see them as a government making logical decisions. Striking underpaid employees need pay rises, the wealthy should be taxed more, workers should have more rights, gimmicky immigration policies should be scrapped, and we should be borrowing more if it's spent on investments.

👎-87

Neil Barse replied:

Don’t try to evade the point, TW. Would you so kind enough to place them on the political spectrum like I asked you to? What do you consider Labo*r are today i.e. Left, Centre, Right, Centre Left, Centre Right. Eh? Eh? I would appreciate your opinion.

👍+31

Tornado Watcher replied:

Quite why my classification of the current Labo*r government is important to you, or even relevant, isn’t clear. But as you asked - Centre Left. Sensible economic policies, with a focus on helping poorer workers.

👎-76

Neil Barse replied:

Without sounding cynical TW, you on many occasions have maintained that the UK needs more migrants to offset the falling birth rates. In the latest data showing deaths out numbered births in the UK, the actual population increased, due it seems to immigration. Seems your wish for increased migration into the UK is being fulfilled.

👍+93

Tornado Watcher replied:

I’ve never posted anything about migrants. I don’t have strong opinions either way on that issue. The topic is not about immigration.

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Neil Barse replied:

You are clearly a liar as well as a dribbling, deluded leftist loon.

" I see them as a government making logical decisions ". You must be kidding right?

"Striking underpaid employees need pay rises,” – by caving into their union paymasters? No, striking is abhorrent and should be punished, not rewarded.

"Workers should have more rights” - They should have enough rights until hiring is not disincentivised and we are past that point.

"gimmicky immigration policies should be scrapped" - What you mean like the Rwanda scheme that the left have dismissed now taken up by the EU?

"And we should be borrowing more if it's spent on investments" - I think we are at the ceiling there. The government should never have pandered to the left and shut down the economy in covid.

👍+135

Tornado Watcher replied:

You asked for my opinions and I gave them. You respond with gas-lighting, personal abuse, bizarre tangents and unsubstantiated ranting. I see no purpose in continuing this discussion.

👎-108

Neil Barse replied:

At last Tornado Watcher confesses the truth about themselves before slinking away to stew in his own UK-hating demented leftist bile. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Watcher posts on here. As usual, I win the argument by my relentlessly logical and calm, reasoned, factual responses, unlike the hate-filled rants of far-leftist Guardian-reading pillocks like Tornado Watcher.

👍👍+346

GreyMondeoMan replied:

Alas, Tornado Watcher, you see what we are up against. Insults, gas-lighting, unsubstantiated rants, misinformation and personal abuse (all traits which they are hair-trigger quick to accuse others of) are the trademark of the right-wing trolls whose opinions the MORON seem to want to cultivate. It is (this comment has been edited for brevity – Ed.)

👎👎👎👎-973

Neil Barse replied:

A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍👍👍+1024

PissyPatoot wrote:
1776 for the English is coming. Be patient! Get ready! Peace and love all. Except if you are English of course.

👎-19

Gonads replied:

What a strange comment. Another dinosaur living north of the border and promoting civil war?

👎-4

PissyPatoot replied:

When a government ceases to act in the interests of Tory Scottish nationalists like me, then it is no longer fit for purpose.

👎-1

Gonads replied:

If the government pandered to the views of a minority as small as yours, we’d be living in a dictatorship. You lost, get over it.

👎-8

PissyPatoot replied:

Your lack of self awareness, whilst staggering, is to be expected. I can’t have exactly what I want, therefore we ARE living in a dictatorship.

👍+17

Gonads wrote:
The funny thing about these MORON comments is that it shows the vast majority of people replying are 65+ year old right-wing dinosaurs who are whining about the reality that Labo*r will be in power for at least another 10 plus years. Looking forward to the next EU referendum, so we can get back to normal.

👎👎👎-514

Pseudocreem 2 replied:

Comrades EU countries are moving to far right. Some of them have committed most appalling atrocities within living memory when such political change happen. We saw behaviour of some of them revert to form during the pandemic and their willingness to discriminate against and marginalise a minority group was alarming to watch. Why would you want to join with EU much better off with dear Mr. Putin and help fight evil Nazi Ukrainians and stop them having a say in making our laws.

👍+45

Tornado Watcher replied:

How can you support Putin and then talk about EU “atrocities”? That's just weird.

👎-2

Pseudocreem 2 replied:

I never said I support dear Mr. Putin. People just call anyone who is not in favour of dear Mr. Putin far right in your country which is lazy insult and disrespectful to those who suffered under true totalitarian gangster regimes of EU unlike freedom and democracy enjoyed in Russia today.

👍+18

Yu Rong replied:

Another sad and deluded Labo*r remoaner. You lost, get over it.

👍👍👍+678

Super Small Dick replied:

I look forward to the next EU referendum. Where we will have to adopt the Euro and be forced to take millions of illegal immigrants. And the result will be stay out. And 10 years of Labo*r? Careful what you wish for.

👍👍👍+712

Truth Twister replied:

Labo*r won't last a term. They've almost lost their lead.

👍+498

Tornado Watcher replied:

How have they lost their lead? In Daily Mail polls? Labo*r's parliamentary majority is 157.

👎👎👎-944

Neil Barse replied:

Ah, the return of the bitter, leftist loser that is TW. I know you cannot deal with facts but the truth is that Ke*r St*rmer's approval rating is now lower than Rishi Sunak according to the polls. It's the fastest drop in approvals for any previous PM. St*rmer has said Labo*r are going to be unpopular, he certainly got that right, even more so about himself.

👍👍👍👍+879

Tornado Watcher replied:

Yes, I saw that Daily Mail headline – “VOTERS: WE DON’T TRUST LABO*R WITH OUR MONEY” and their “poll” as well. You fail to mention that for the majority of their other criteria, such as “setting tax levels”, “bringing down the national debt”, “spending government money efficiently” and “improving public services”, Labo*r ranked higher than the Tories – something the Daily Mail headline also failed to mention.

👎👎👎👎👎-762

Neil Barse replied:

Typical whataboutery from a bitter and twisted leftist Labo*r loser. And what about that Angela Rayn*r, eh? She’s just billed the taxpayer for £60,000 for a personal photographer to take all of her publicity shots for her. Typical Labo*r corruption and vanity.

👍👍👍👍+863

Tornado Watcher replied:

Another Daily Mail headline. I bet the Daily Mail didn’t mention that it actually uses those “taxpayer-funded” photos in its own Labo*r-bashing articles, rather than pay their own photographers these days? And that the Telegraph, Express, Times and the Sun also uses those self-same "vanity" photos in their Labo*r-bashing articles as well?

👎👎👎👎-701

Neil Barse replied:

More lies and disinformation. I think you leftists must be mentally ill to constantly come out with the lies and whataboutery the way you do. And what about Labo*r’s plans to compulsorily purchase all UK pensioner’s houses and give them to asylum seekers, eh? Eh? That’s a plan that I’m sure you far-left UK haters would approve of.

👍👍👍👍👍+995

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Anything that doesn’t fit with NB’s world view is just lies and disinformation. A standard right-wing philosophy that (this comment has been edited because we don’t like it – Ed.)

👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎-1528

Neil Barse replied:

A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍+1024

Super Small Dick wrote:
One of the private schools near me has written to all local sports clubs that hire their sports halls informing them that all sports halls are to be turned into hostels for asylum seekers. Well done Labo*r. What a shambles. Four more years of this turgid drivel.

👍👍👍+752

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all parties are corrupt unlike Russian oligarch money which is good for UK, which will be good news for all Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+18

Former Midway Tory MP Sets Up Kinky OnlyFans Page "To Make Ends Meet"

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
Who on earth would actually pay to view this load of old (this comment has been edited because we don’t like Grey Mondeo Man - Ed)

👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎-18709

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍+78123

Chattingham North MP Resigns After St*rmer Labo*r Corruption Exposed

A Midway MP has made history by becoming the fastest to flounce out in a huff after a general election by resigning from the Labo*r party today.

In a damning open letter to the Prime Minister, Chattingham North MP Rosie Waffle cited evil Sir K*ir St*rmer’s “cruel and unnecessary” policies and also the freebies row engulfing him and his party as the reasons for her resignation.

MP Rosie Waffle: off in a huff...

She attacked the Labo*r leader for the “staggering hypocrisy” of accepting gifts worth tens of thousands of pounds while scrapping winter fuel payments.

This was an issue that Ms. Waffle felt so strongly about, she couldn’t even be bothered to turn up in Parliament to vote for Conservatives’ motion to block the bill for winter fuel payment changes.

“Er, this was because I was being paid to be interviewed by right-wing news outlet UnHerdOf, to explain why I was planning to leave the Labour Party because of their scrapping of winter fuel payments…” mumbled Rosie.

In her resignation letter, she wrote: “The sleaze, nepotism and apparent avarice are off the scale. You’re behaving just like Boris Johnson and his cronies, but the right-wing press isn’t going to give you the easy ride it gave them, is it?”

“You’ll be giving out £50 million PPE contracts and peerages to your chums next!”  

The former nail-care assistant went on: “Since we booted those sleazy, greedy and just plain evil Tory bastards out in July after 14 years of corruption, sleaze, cruelty and incompetence, the revelations of your hypocrisy have been staggering and increasingly outrageous. I cannot put into words how angry I and my colleagues that you have made us all appear to be just as bad as those Tory arseholes. Thanks to you, the right-wing press and their idiot pensioner readership are all over us.”.

“How dare you take our longed-for victory, the electorate's sacred and precious trust, and throw it back in their individual faces and the faces of dedicated and hardworking Lab*ur MPs?”

Keir Starmer: Freebie suits and glasses "not unusual..."

“You are obviously as comfortable with your own hypocrisy and I am with mine. After all, I didn’t resign from the Lab*ur party until after I’d got voted in for another five years, did I? And no, I bloody well won’t be resigning and forcing a by-election. I’m not going to chuck away a sitting MP’s salary and expenses for the next five years, am I?”

“What’s good enough for you is good enough for me. I’ve already signed a juicy contract to appear on UnHerdOf and GBNews and rest assured I’ll be slagging you and your Red Tory Party off as much as I can...”

Ms. Waffle is now in her third term representing Chattingham North after first taking the seat in 2017.

Most recently, in July, she won by a majority of 8,000.

She says she will now stand as an independent, adding: "I hope to be able to return to the party in the future, when it resembles the party I love, i.e. REFORM."

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Yu Rong wrote:

Now we are seeing the true face of Labour, a party completely dominated by corruption, cronyism and incompetence, utterly unlike the brilliant Tory administration hounded out by the BBC and the UK’s overwhelmingly left-wing media. And Rosie Waffle is just as big a hypocrite as “Two Tier Free Gear” St*rmer, taking party funds to get re-elected before resigning from the party just a few weeks later. Labo*r are already reduced to fighting each other like rats in a sack, an unedifying spectacle that you never saw with the united Tories.

👍👍👍+1292

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

A “brilliant Tory administration” that never fought amongst themselves like rats in a sack? Are you for real? Just where were you in the 14 years before the last election?

👎👎👎👎-1321

Yu Rong replied:

Unlike you, GMM, I get my political information from one of the few UK sources not contaminated with the usual leftist disinformation and bile – The Daily Mail. I wouldn’t expect a Guardian-reading pillock like you to recognise the unfolding disaster that this country’s misguided electorate has foisted upon all of us in the UK.

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍+3490

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Thanks you for answering my question, Yu Rong. You clearly aren’t for real. With a reply like that, you can only be a Tory or REFORM troll.

👎👎-123

Yu Rong replied:

How does it go? Oh yes. You far left excuser. In fact, a far left extremism excuser.

👎+89

Ancient Arseolian wrote:

I'd expected to have to wait the full term for Lab*ur to be back in opposition. It seems likely that it's not going to take that long. Not since the last incoming Government 14 years ago have we seen such avarice and incompetence in such a short time - not to mention the many and varied skeletons in “two-tier free-gear” socialist Sir Keir’s many cupboards. The breaking news stories over the coming months will be painful and full of cringe.

👍+3

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

Sir K*ir St*rmer’s leadership is beginning to grow on me. When Labo*r was elected, I feared that the foul socialist winds of change were going to blow away the rule by wealth and privilege that has served this country – or at least, me – so very well for the past forty years.
Now it seems that it really is just business as usual, for which I and my prosperous friends are profoundly grateful for. Contrary to my dire expectations, it is clear that Chancellor Reeves fully understands the basic rule that taxes are only to be paid by poor people. Good for her and long may that continue.
Inconsequential losers such as Rosie Waffle are welcome to flounce out of government and into well-deserved obscurity. She will not be missed.

👍+63

Wankenator 2 wrote:

Rosie has duped Chattingham. She didn't bother turning up to vote against removing the fuel allowance. Then she resigns the Labo*r whip after taking party funds. Typical Labo*r hypocrite!

👍+50

Truth Twister replied:

576 voted either for or against the motion meaning that 74 did not vote either way so why single her out? Diane Abbott did not vote either so where is your criticism of her?

👍+41

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Er, could it be anything to do with the fact that this article is about Rosie Waffle, not Diane Abbott – who hasn’t resigned from Labour...yet?

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Chad Grindr replied:

You are clearly a leftist loon, GMM. You expose yourself every day as a bitter, hate filled Far-Left anti-British antagonist troll. Ke*r St*rmer should be imprisoned for his blatant corruption. You should be made to share a cell with him, along with 10% of the British Civil Service, as it looks like you both share the same ideology.

👍👍+369

Yu Rong replied:

As usual GMM, you completely miss the point. The point is that anything Labour does is bad, whilst anything the Tories do is good. Your consistent failure to acknowledge this basic fact underlines your stupidity as a leftist hater of the UK.

👍👍👍+921

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Pregnancy blues getting you down, Yu Rong? Heard from Neil Barse lately?

👍+3

Yu Rong replied:

No. He’s a bastard and now I hate him more than I hate you. But rest assured, I will hunt him down and make him face up to his parental responsibilities if it’s the last thing I do.

👍+2

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Best of luck with that. Shafting folk and avoiding the consequences are what Tories do best…

👍+98

Neil Barse replied:

A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍👍👍+7651

Super Small Dick wrote:

Meanwhile another 300 small boats packed with millions of illegal immigrants arrived on our shores yesterday. St*rmer has been in office for nearly three months now and everything is still shite and still the boats keep coming. Time for another general election. St*rmer OUT!!!

👍+82

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all parties are corrupt unlike Russian oligarch money which is good for UK, which will be good news for all Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+12

“Chew On This” Reviews Moseley’s Fascist Fry-Ups Café in Claptout-on-Sea.

We sent our unpaid work experience intern, Molly Snippet, to an increasingly famous local cafe partly owned by a chum of our editor. Here's what she had to say...

The very first thing you see when entering the subject of this week’s “Chew On This” review is a big red sign that reads: “Warning, You Are About To Enter A Politicaly Incorect Zone.”

What passes for a polite notice in the window of Moseley's Fascist Fry-ups Cafe (partly censored)...

It goes on to state that (and I paraphrase) the concepts of freedom of speech or politeness are things that should not be extended to “woofter lefties” who are certainly not welcome in this establishment.

On the wall, reads another which says: “If something offends you please let us know – then we can tell you to leave.” Actually, the sign used an Anglo-Saxon term for “leave”, as seems to be the language commonly used in these environs.

So this café, nestling in the heart of the staunchly Really Extreme Far Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK™®© -voting Midway seaside constituency of Claptout-on-Sea, clearly isn’t for anyone who isn’t a raving Niglet the Gargoyle fan.

But then it was perhaps inevitable that it would be this way in a place called Moseley’s Fascist Fry-Up Café, which has Union Jacks and Swastikas on its signage, in its windows and (just to really hammer home its particular brand of “patriotism”) sticking out of the condiment holder.

Gargoyle: "Lovin' it"...

A quick check of its Facebook page reveals its pre-election hi-jinks. including waving a Really Extreme Far Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK™®© flag and staff gathering around a life-size cut-out of none other than Niglet the Gargoyle positioned in its doorway. He’d absolutely love it here. Many, many others, who would doubtless be considered by its regulars to be of a “woofter leftie” persuasion, will find it a tad uncomfortable.

If you are of the view it’s best to keep your political opinions to yourself when in business to prevent people steering clear, this place clearly doesn’t agree.

Inside, away from the rather cluttered and grease-splattered main counter, the bare brick walls are coated in pictures of Second World War aircraft, scenes from Hitler’s Nuremburg rallies and the obligatory picture of a bulldog, dressed in Union Jack waistcoat and smoking a Churchillian cigar.

And, of course, given its name, a big framed poster of Sir Osward Moseley himself, next to a framed copy of Viscount Rothermere’s article in the Daily Mail from 1938, bearing the famous headline “Hurrah For The Blackshirts”.

Many other framed newspapers are on display. There’s the “Enemies Of The People” one from the Daily Mail, that vilifies the three judges who upheld the Rule of Law in the face of an illegal attempt by the-then Tory government to enforce the Article 50 “Brexit” bill without the consent of Parliament. Another framed Daily Mail headline saying “At Last, A True Tory Budget” celebrates the mini-budget of Tory PM Liz Truss that crashed the UK economy. The classic Sun headline “GOTCHA”, celebrating the great British Falklands War naval triumph (one that sent hundreds of unwilling teenaged Argentinean conscripts to a watery grave while trying to sail out of the Falklands War battle zone in a clapped-out, leaking battleship) also prominently features.

A celebration of great patriotic British journalism indeed!

There’s not a copy of the Guardian among the punters in sight. I suspect you may get a severe kicking if you come in with one tucked under your arm, such is the one-way nature of “freedom of speech” as viewed from the political right.

Finding the constant spittle-flecked shouting and swearing of the faithful right-wing customers to be rather monotonous and wearisome, I opted to sit outside.

It’s early morning, mid-week and the place is doing brisk business as the local Wetherspoons doesn’t serve beer until 10.00am, which is when most of the denizens of this café will start their drinking.

Cafe manager Alf Gozzer: "Full English or F*** off..."

I attempted to order a veggie breakfast, but was told by Alf Gozzer (the head cook and manager) to “f**k off, we don’t do that woke lefty rabbit-food sh*t here, it’s a full English or f**k off”.

A look at Mr. Gozzer’s apron told me what food was on offer and so I apologised for my wokish lapse and ordered the said breakfast.

For your £8.80 you get the standard soss, bacon, egg, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms and bubble and squeak. Plus either toast or bread and marge. The coffee adds an extra £2 to the bill.

The coffee swiftly appeared (as it should do, given that it is “instant”) and the toast not long after. The bread is low-end supermarket quality and the little margarine pot (no woke “butter” here) is frozen solid making it impossible to spread on the bread.

The main dish appears and it’s as you would expect given the nature of the place - a classic big plate of all your cheapest supermarket ingredients, either undercooked or burned and all swimming in grease spotted with little crispy flakes of carbon. We all know what an English breakfast looks and should taste like and this ticks all the boxes - if you were at a Blue Boar service station in 1960. At a little over a tenner a head, it’s certainly a patriotic trip down memory lane. I didn’t think anyone still cooked breakfasts this awful.

Nevertheless, my editor has told me to write a positive review of the place as apparently we need the clickbait and (as usual with these reviews) one of his chums also has a stake in it, so here goes.

It has to be said that there is a certain refreshing honesty about the place. The punters were lapping it up, clearly preferring patriotic quantity over quality before wandering off to the nearby Weatherspoons to start drinking and carry on swearing and shouting spittle into each others faces, as is their want.

I can honestly say that if you are not worried about woke, snowflake, leftist issues such as food quality, kitchen hygiene, good customer service, cleanliness or the boorishness of the moronic clientele and its owner, then this is definitely the café for you!

Sometimes this stuff just writes itself…

Comments:

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Gonads wrote:
If they don't have gammon on the menu I would be disappointed.

👎-309

Yu Rong wrote:
Sounds a great place to visit. Should be more like this, a "lefty thick **** free zone"

👍+147

Gonads replied:

Yeah us lefties are so thick we didn't even vote for your Brexit! How's that working out for you geniuses by the way? You should have been able to identify a benefit of it after six years, what with you being so intelligent and everything. But you and your chums seem strangely quiet on that front... 

👎👎👎👎-1012

Chad Grindr wrote:
Having to use cutlery should be sufficient to deter any dribbling leftist loons ;-)

👍+291

Wankenator 2 wrote:
Who'd of thought a cafe with a few union jacks and swastikas on display would get the MORON’s loony left brigade foaming at the mouth so easily. Lol at some of the comments. MORON clickbait reeled em in AGAIN!

👍+87

TheAnus replied:
Yes, it's funny. And they preach tolerance!

👍+98

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:
It's a greasy spoon, not Claridges. Know your market before writing such twaddle. This cafe clearly knows its market because business is brisk and by the review is largely positive. People can make their own choices - this is why I avoid places that offer me a hundred different varieties of milk and at least two vegan options for the hessian flip-flop brigade.

👍+63

A Gozzer wrote:
This Cafe delevers graet food, graet servise while havin a good larf the owner is a good bloke who helps suport a cupple of right-wing charitees like the EDL so if your easly ofended then f**k off you won't be missed!

👍👍👍+523

Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
So, a cafe named after a British traitor and fascist, where fascist voters go to eat. Fascist voters who have a hard-on for - and imagine they were involved in - a war which happened long before they were born and cost the lives of millions. Plastic patriots, who don't love the country - else they wouldn't care for Niglet the Gargoyle - but love a misty-eyed idea of a place that has never existed other than in their minds. Sounds hateful.

👎👎👎-836

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍+970

Ancient Arseolean replied:
As ever Comrade, you conveniently overlook that the people you despise pay the taxes that fund your lifetime of sponging from the benefits system.

👍+412 

Tornado Watcher replied:
Most spongers are right wingers who put their benefits over the bar in Wetherspoons mate

👎👎-809

Chad Grindr replied:
Struggling to see what exactly has triggered the MORON’s tame bed wetting snow flake GMM? Union Jacks? Pictures of Spitfires? A British Bulldog perhaps? Sounds traumatic. I hope GMM makes a speedy recovery.

👍👍👍+834

Super Small Dick wrote:
If I die of cold this winter, who do my children sue? We can afford to give money to the immigrants but can't keep me warm! Disgusted.

👍+104

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in next elections because all political England parties are same and Russian oligarch money is good for UK and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+12