The Really Extreme Far Out
Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC ©®™ has rocked the political establishment by
winning sweeping victories across the country - and is celebrating with a
post-election party in Midway.
 |
| The gargoyle: On the path to power... |
Party owner and its leader-for life
Niglet the Gargoyle has dashed back to Midway from his home in US President
Donald Turnip’s fundament this evening after a day of shock results, which he
said was “proof that the brains of the electorate are now officially dead”.
“Yet again, they’ve fallen for
the same old xenophobic distraction issues that we used during the ‘Vote Leave”
campaign. Thank God for the county’s credulous and easily-manipulated OAPs, I
say….”
Speaking to the fawning media, the
gargoyle was asked what the Really Extreme Far Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party
PLC ©®™ had just achieved in what was supposed to be a Tory stronghold.
“It’s not a Tory stronghold,
it’s a R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC ©®™ stronghold,” he boasted.
"This is the greatest day
in the history of this county and indeed, this country that we've ever, ever
seen.”
"You get general elections
that swing one way or the other but the success of our manipulation of this one
is truly extraordinary”.
"I always thought we'd do
well in this county but this result is beyond my wildest dreams."
 |
| Doncha just LOVE that gargoyle...? |
The gargoyle said one of the reasons
people had voted R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC ©®™ was that his party had
successfully cultivated the feeling of being felt let down by the main two
parties due to "lack of delivery" and "promises broken".
"What we have got to do is
keep feeding people’s resentment and disillusionment with our elected
governments" he added.
“My R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC
©®™ don’t have any answers to the county’s problems, or indeed, the country’s.”
“But that’s because we are a
protest party with only one purpose – more publicity and power for ME ME ME!!!!”
"And that means getting our
message across in our tame right-wing newspapers and on social media, running
down our democratic institutions and our democratically elected governments,
and whipping up hysterical anger and resentment with emotive distraction issues
like immigration and culture wars."
“So we won’t be talking about
the tanking economy, our collapsing public services or our gutted industrial
infrastructure. We don’t know how to fix any of that, although that won’t stop
us attacking anyone who tries to.”
“Instead, we’ll be sounding off
about emotive side-issues that make for good headlines in the Daily Mail, the
Daily Express and the Daily Telegraph and on GB News.”
 |
| R.E.F.O.R.M. supporters celebrating victory |
So on the R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party
PLC’s ©®™ main priorities, he said: "Well, I would suggest if you think
you can ‘work from home’ under us, you might find yourself having quite a
short, sharp conversation.”
"And if you're working in
DEI (‘Diversity, Equality and Inclusion’) or climate change for the county,
then perhaps alternative employment is where you should be looking.”
“Our ‘culture wars’ aim is to
turn UK workplaces into a refection of R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC’s values, i.e.
a hotbed of bullying, sexist racism that discriminates against anyone but old
white right-wing men.”
"We want to slim down the
size of local government to get it back to the basics and to make sure that
council taxpayers start to give their money to my business pals in the U.S. My
great friend Eesgon Nutz is doing a great job with his programme in the U.S.
so we’ll be introducing a similar thing in the county council.”
“His Department of Government
Efficiency (DOGE) is taking a chainsaw to U.S. public services, so we’ll be
doing the same thing. We’ll be setting up a Department of Political Efficiency
(DOPE) to make sure that every aspect of the county council is thoroughly
non-woke and completely under the control of the R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC ©®™”
Asked if job cuts are on the
way, he replied: "Well, there may well be job cuts in left-wing, namby-pamby
leftist areas like DEI, social services, libraries, road repairs, public
buildings, and refuse collection.”
“We intend to improve public
services by getting rid of at least 10% of all council employees. After all,
it’s been proven that you can cut 10% of anything and it won’t make a
difference - except to our R.E.F.O.R.M.
councillor expenses, of course! That’s the number consultants always recommend
as it doesn’t involve any rational thought, which appeals to us.”
“And if those leftist public service
unions think they can hold a R.E.F.O.R.M. council to ransom in future, they’ll
have another think coming. People would much rather have rubbish piling up in
their streets, schools and libraries closing and social care for the elderly abandoned
rather than pay a bunch of communist woke parasites a living wage, after all.
That’s why they voted R.E.F.O.R.M.”
Our County Council is among the
local authorities now under the Gargoyle party’s control after it ousted the
Conservatives, winning 57 seats to the Tories’ five.
Niglet the Gargoyle was due to
be joined at the Goldenfist Wine Estate in Stroochester by Midway’s new R.E.F.O.R.M.
UK Party PLC ©®™ county councillors E. L. Wisty, Chad Barse and Tony Swiss.
 |
| R.E.F.O.R.M. supporters cheer on their victorious leader at Midway's Goldenfist winery... |
The gargoyle received a hero’s
welcome from his party faithful at the Goldenfist Wine Estate when he arrived
via helicopter just after 8.30pm.
Jubilant R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party
PLC ©®™ county councillors said they could not wait to get started.
 |
| Cllr. E. L. Wisty |
E.L. Wisty, the new county
councillor for Midway North, says “safeguarding the electorate from the
disgusting activities of
invisible nudists” is his top priority.
“R.E.F.O.R.M. is here. Tonight
we celebrate at the expense of the tax-payer and soon, perhaps in six month’s
or so after a well-earned holiday from all of this stressful campaigning, we
will get to work.”
“It won’t be easy, but we will be
eliminating spindly insects and encouraging lovely little newts who dance about
and are happy.”
Cllr Swiss, who won the Midway
West seat on the county council, said: “The common theme on the doorstep is
people want change”.
“They're fed up with both Tories
and Labour promising and never delivering.”
 |
| Cllr. Tony Swiss |
“So it will be a complete change
when R.E.F.O.R.M. make promises and never deliver. That’s the sort of change we
intend to make.”
He added that it would be a
“difficult path” because “the county council is skint and the nation's skint,
thanks to the past fifty years of Tory and Labour governments”.
“We think it’s important that we
get our excuses in early” he added. “So we’ll be blaming immigrants and woke
leftists etc. etc. when we inevitably make things worse from Day 1”.
 |
| Cllr. Chad Barse |
Midway South East member for R.E.F.O.R.M.
Chad Barse said: “The first thing we’re going to do is open the books.”
“We’re going to see where the
money is going and look at contracts awarded to people fixing potholes,
providing services to schools and social care. Then we’ll decide if those
contracts offer an opportunity for Niglet’s chums in the U.S. to make loads of money out of U.K. council
tax payers.”
“If they don’t, we’re going to
change them.”
“Niglet’s backers have been
pumping a lot of dark money into R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC ©®™ coffers, so now
it’s pay-back time.”
“We’re so grateful for the immensely
stupid and credulous electorate of Midway for putting their trust in us.”
In
the real world, a certain local news outlet gives its usual
uncritical description of lots of empty gloating, tub-thumping about trivia
and no ideas about how to solve real-world problems. All of which fits in
perfectly with the increasingly unpleasant and sinister comments of its tame
trolls as usual…
Comments:
Please note that we do not
moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the
voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.
inglish and prowd
wrote:
What a glorious morning of news. Lefties crying in their cornflakes. Fantastic.
Go on Niglet !!
👍+572
Cheesy peasy replied:
This is exactly it isn't it lol
👍+572
Ed 2468motorway replied:
We'll all be crying when R.E.F.O.R.M. fail.
👎-301
Neil Barse replied:
Exactly how you're crying now then would that be Ed?
👍+296
Ed 2468motorway replied:
I tried looking at that statement from various angles and am forced to conclude
that, as usual, it is complete and utter gibberish.
👎-299
Neil Barse replied:
As it's impossible to enter into
a debate with low intellectual idiots who only wish is too troll others such as
yourself Ed, it's understandable that nobody bothers, especially as you can't
even understand what proper debating is. You've been described as an
argumentative troll on many occasions, a description that fits you perfectly.
Now run along and find some of those you consider are Nimbys and sealion them.
LOL
👍👍👍+1024
Yu Rong replied:
Great post as ever Neil.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil
👍+200
RSlickR replied:
Great post as ever Chad.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil
👍+200
Phil theMentallyIll replied:
Great post as ever Chad.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil
👍+200
Neil Barse replied:
Great post as ever Chad.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil
👍+200
I like arse cream replied:
Great post as ever Chad.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil
👍+200
Ed 2468motorway replied:
“…low intellectual idiots who only wish is too troll others…”. Nimbys…?
“Sealion them…”? More incoherent gibberish. You need to up your medication. Oh,
and you are also mixing your multiple user IDs up again.
👍+24
Yu Rong replied:
Whatever you say, poppet, What is very simple is the fact you use all those
insults based on your interpretation when you personally don't agree, dislike
and in retaliation against those who expose you for the vindictive peddler of
misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll
that you are.
👍👍👍+998
Neil Barse replied:
Great reply as ever Chad.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil
👍+200
Chad Grindr wrote:
Just when you don’t think it could get any worse for Labour. We have one of
their ministers dismissing child rape as ‘dog whistling’
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2ew9jnj2p1o
What an utterly disgusting mob is currently running this
country. Or is that ruining!?
👍+962
Aunt Nartsie replied:
Yes, Chad.
Unbelievable any Minister would dare say this. Like that vile Sandeep Patel from
Chattingham, inciting
violence. We are still awaiting his trial and prison sentence.
👍+891
Tornado Watcher replied:
Thank you for the link, Chad. To me and
any other reasonable person, it is perfectly obvious that the minister was
dismissing those who are seeking to turn the issue of child rape into a political
football, rather than dismissing the issue itself. But to you and those like
you, you really can’t help yourselves responding to the same dog whistle, can
you?
👎-119
Yu Rong replied:
Maybe the police should take a
look at the hard drive on your computer as well.
👍+6
Neil Barse replied:
Great reply as ever Chad.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil
👍+200
Tornado Watcher replied:
You’ve crossed the line into outright libel with your vicious trolling. It’s a
sign of how ultra right-wing the MORON
is when it publishes foul smears like (the
rest of this comment has been removed because it violates our community
standards – the Editor)
👎👎👎👎-1000
Tornado Watcher replied:
So I speak out about libellous trolls and the MORON just (the rest of this comment has been removed because it violates our
community standards – the Editor)
👎👎👎👎-1000
Yu Rong replied:
Oooh get you and your tantrums.
Just suck it up poppet. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
👍+200
Neil Barse replied:
Great reply as ever Yu Rong.
👍+200
Yu Rong replied:
Thank you Neil
👍+200
inglish and prowd
wrote:
I can see the remoaners are out in force again lol just like brexit and now
local elections it's proof your views are not the same as most people living in
the uk so we don't want to hear your disappointment or throughs on how bad this
will be everyone voted R.E.F.O.R.M. we knew what we was voting for no we are
not stupid ever through that maybe you havnt opened your own eyes like the rest
of us have cos we kno what this country needs is a good dose of fascism to get
you leftys crying in your cornflakes
👍+664
Grey Mondeo Man replied:
Precisely zero lefties are crying in their cornflakes. That scenario exists
only in the brain rot of right-wing keyboard warriors. We "lefties"
(as you want to call us) and sitting patiently for those on the right to see
their hopes turn to dust once reality meets unhinged ideology.
👍-325
inglish and prowd replied:
Another crying lefty. Do go on, you're making the victory even sweeter.
👎+398
PositivelyMentalAttitude replied:
R.E.F.O.R.M. UK,
it's the only way.
👍+176
Grey Mondeo Man
wrote:
It's bad news for R.E.F.O.R.M. They'll have to actually do things now,
instead of just screeching ‘NO!!!’ from the sidelines. The problem is that it's
also bad news for our county. But hey, ho. Like Brexit, it’s what the people
voted for.
👎-98
Yu Rong replied:
Aww diddums Grey Mondeo Man did your precious Labour party get trashed in the
county council elections then? You really are a pathetically childish specimen
who resorts to pathetically condescending and childish insults in the face of
the adult reasoning of your political superiors.
👍+200
Neil Barse replied:
An excellent factual and moderate reply, Yu Rong. Grey Mondeo Man is just a
pathetic leftist troll who only ever posts tedious sealioning, insults, lies,
gaslighting and disinformation. I think leftists like him must be mentally ill
to constantly come out with the lies and whataboutery the way he does. Like all
lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such are unable
to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
An excellent factual and moderate reply, Neil. Grey Mondeo Man is just a vindictive
peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist
europhile troll who just throws vile insults at anyone who disagrees with him.
👍+200
Grey Mondeo Man replied:
Insults aside, would any one of your multiple personalities care to volunteer
exactly what the R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC are going to do to tackle the
problems facing our county council, other than the vacuous sound-bites they
secured their election victory with?
👎-43
Neil Barse replied:
All your opinions are nothing
less than worthless Extreme Far Left hateful anti British antagonist propaganda
Grey Mondeo Man. But it's nothing less than has become expected of you since
the era when you believed yourself top dog on here. How the mighty have fallen
since then, as more moderate sensible truthful ppl have revealed you for the
insidious multi account troll that you are Grey Mondeo Man.
👍+1024
Yu Rong replied:
Great post as ever Neil.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil
👍+200
RSlickR replied:
Great post as ever Chad.
👍+200
Chad Grindr replied:
Thank you Phil
👍+200
Grey Mondeo Man replied:
Thought not
👎-31
Ancient Aryan
wrote:
Now we’ve got a proper local authority in charge perhaps we
can crack down on all of the traitorous lefties who post against our glorious
R.E.F.O.R.M. here and on social media. I’m sure the MORON can provide IP addresses to the
authorities so they can pay those leftie keyboard warriors a visit and give
them the treatment they deserve.
👍+712
Tornado Watcher replied:
So not only are the MORON
allowing its cyber-bullying right-wing trolls to libel anyone who disagrees
with the political stance of their pets, it also allows them to make veiled
threats of violence. It seems the MORON
is quite happy to be complicit in the destruction of civilised free speech and
(the rest of this comment has been removed
because it violates our community standards – the Editor)
👎👎👎👎-1000
Yu Rong replied:
Oooh get you and your tantrums.
Just suck it up poppet. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
It’s a new world order now you leftie cry-baby and we’re in charge, so get used
to it.
👍+200
Neil Barse replied:
Great reply as ever Yu Rong.
👍+200
Yu Rong replied:
Thank you Neil
👍+200
