The MORON Regurgitates Daily Mail Anti-Starmer Immigration Headline

A total of 154 migrants have arrived in the country since the start of April, according to government figures that we copied from a typically screechy Daily Mail piece of manufactured outrage.

Immigrants in boats: All Labo*r's fault

It means the total number reaching our shores since Labo*r took power at the general election on July 4 has now reached 30,038.

The Conservatives have been quick to point out that in a similar timeframe during their administration - from July 2023 to April 2024 - there were 23,439 arrivals, enabling them to claim that Labo*r has allowed illegal crossings to increase by 28%.

The Shadow Home Secretary Chris Bluebottle said that Sir Ke*r St*rmer had betrayed the British public by losing control of the country’s borders.

Bluebottle: "He's fallen in the water..."

He told the Daily Mail: “St*rmer needs to develop a backbone and immediately implement an ineffective and expensive policy of performative cruelty that appeals to Daily Mail readers, such as a deportation scheme to Rwanda.”

“It's the only way we can stop these boats, even though our Rwanda scheme was a complete failure.”

“This total loss of border control is catastrophic for our country, er, unlike 14 years of Tory 'party before country' incompetence and corruption …”

The high number of arrivals followed a period of seven days with no activity, when high winds in the Channel deterred the boats.

So far this year, there has been a 25% increase in numbers compared with the same point last year and a 70% increase compared with 2023.

Whilst none of this is anything to do with the Midway area, we thought we’d throw an article in about asylum seekers because it always get the page views and allows us to slag off the democratically-elected government that we at the MORON don’t approve of 

Because we know that screechy headlines based on cherry-picked numbers is what our old Tory pensioner readership really want to see, because they confirm what they think they already know.

We know our readers aren’t interested in context when it comes to the right-wing manufactured issue of immigration, because that would go against the pre-conceived opinions we have already given them.

So we won’t be running our usual comments forum on this, in case some demented leftie points out that for the same July to April period across 2022/23, the overall number of arrivals was 36,778 – 22% higher than the numbers we’re screeching about.

Or that the channel crossing weather conditions (the most important factor in channel crossings) were much more favourable this past year, with only four storms during the 2024/25 storm season, as against ten for the previous year.   

And this is all clearly Ke*r St*rmer’s fault, so think carefully about who you vote for in next month’s county council elections.

In the real world, we see a sly headline that invites the hard-of-thinking to confuse correlation with causation…

Chattingham Mum-Of-Six Left Shocked After Discovering ‘Massive’ Cheerio In Cereal From Asda

A young Mum-of-six was given food for thought while eating breakfast and watching the news - when she discovered a “massive” three-inch cheerio in her cereal bowl.

Mandy Gormless - "wants compensation"..

Mandy Gormless (23), from Chattingham, says a report on the TV about the US President was trumped by the sight of the monster cheerio.

The 23-year-old had just got up for breakfast at 11 am.

But she had barely begun tucking into her Cheerios- which she had bought from Asda in Chattingham - when she realised one stood out from the rest.

Mandy said: “The social services had already got my kids off to school for me so I was the only person in the house eating breakfast.”

“I was watching the eleven o’clock news and there was a story on about Donald Trump.”

“Then I saw I had this monster Cheerio in my dish. I was shocked, I could have choked on it.”

Giant Cheerio shock horror ordeal...

“Now I’m suffering from Post-Traumatic Giant Cheerio Stress Disorder Syndrome. I keep seeing giant Cheerios everywhere now, thanks to Asda.”

“I want compensation.”

A spokesperson for Asda said they had already received a complaint from Ms. Gormless.

“When we asked for proof of purchase however, Ms. Gormless became abusive, saying that “if that was our f**king attitude, she’d do her f**king shoplifting from f**king Sainsbury’s in future,” the spokesperson explained.

“So we’re calling that a ‘win-win’ for our Customer Services department”.

More cutting-edge journalism from the real world. Makes the World Weekly News look like the Times. Actually, thinking about it, these days…

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Troy Tempest wrote:
Worth every penny of the subscription charge. Not. Honestly, how is this news and (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor).

👍+105

Midway in my DNA wrote:
What a load of bollocks from the MORON. Find some real news if you are going to have the sheer cheek to ask us to pay for this utter (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor).

👍+124

Stonehengesteve wrote:
I think we all know, this is a coded message from Elvis on Mars. Actually, that would make more sense than this pile of (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor)

👍+113

Honestly wrote:
This looks like a mini-doughnut has been put on top of a bowl of Cheerios by a chancer trying to blag a few freebies and five minutes of fame. And the MORON gives these pathetic idiots a platform and then tries to charge us to view this dross? They must think we’re (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor)

👍+115

Chad Grindr replied:
Looks like a typical lazy self-entitled Labo*r voter to me. Sort of stupid thing a Labo*r voter would do.

👎-98

Gonads replied:
Says a Brexit supporter. How’s that working out by the way?

👍+67

OhWhatever wrote:
MORON have a word with yourself. This “dozy woman puts doughnut on Cheerios so she can try it on with a supermarket” article is behind your really-not-difficult-to-bypass paywall? And you want people to PAY to access this stuff? You must be having a (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor)

👍+116

Checkinout the Weatherchart wrote:
This is absolutely why I think the MORON subscription fee is totally justified. HaHaHa.

👍+97

Random Lookaround wrote:
Wow how can this even be a news story? She is certainly doing a lot to stereotype a certain look.

👍+101

Spicegirl wrote:
And this is news FFS?
Yawn yawn (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor)

👍+103

Backlash As MORON Fails To Stoke Culture Wars At Expense Of Popular Midway Pub.

The landlord of a popular Midway pub has hit back at claims that his decision to ban all outdoor smoking is “woke” and will cost him customers.

Pub landlord Alf Standpipe - "woke"...

Alf Standpipe has put a stop to customers lighting up anywhere on the premises at the Ordinary Fellow in Stroochester, including in its beer garden and on its front patio.

The decision – which he believes could be a UK first – had sparked a backlash from the MORON saying the ban will lose the pub vital trade, in a desperate attempt to stoke up a bit of anti-Labo*r right-wing ‘culture wars’ in advance of May’s county council elections.

But 72-year-old Mr. Standpipe – himself a non-smoker - believes it will have the opposite effect, with customers preferring to enjoy a drink outdoors without a haze of fumes around them.

“None of my regulars smoke and neither do I”, he told the MORON. “So why you silly buggers are trying to ape the Daily bloody Mail and stir up a bit of stupid ‘woke warrior’ culture wars bollocks is beyond me.”

“I’m fed up with yobbos and old hippies smoking weed in my pub garden to be honest. They can bugger off down the ‘Forks if they want to do that sort of thing.”

“Very few of our usual customers smoke because of the demographic we attract. Most of them just like a pint and bit of grub so a smoking ban is no big deal, despite what the right-wing local rag is trying to make out”.

VOTE IN OUR POLL BELOW

Smoking was controversially banned inside pubs and restaurants in 2007, but the rules did not extend to outside spaces, such as beer gardens.

However, last summer, the woke leftie Labo*r government confirmed it was considering adding outdoor areas to the ban, but later scrapped the plans amid a fierce backlash from the populist right-wing UK press looking for yet another stick to beat our elected government with.

Despite the U-turn, Mr Standpipe decided to impose his own rules on Tuesday – despite us trying to depict him as a trendy wokish leftie – with any customers now wanting to smoke having to leave the premises entirely to do so.

Unlike some other pubs in the UK that have banned smoking in beer gardens but kept designated areas for smokers, there is now nowhere at the Ordinary Fellow where would-be smokers can still light up.

Mr Standpipe says those who refuse to comply will be politely asked to bugger off.

“It’s completely their choice,” he said.

“There’s the Weatherforks just down the road, which is where the local piss-artists and potheads can go. And if our smoking ban keeps them out of my pub, that’s just fine by me and my customers.”

In 2016, figures showed that 62% of votes cast in Midway in the Brexit referendum were in favour of the “Leave” position - the highest proportion in Kent and well above the national average of 48%.

So it is perhaps unsurprising that Mr. Standpipe’s plans drew criticism from Midway’s frothing Daily Mail-reading right-wing pensioners when we blew up the news of the ban out of all proportion.

Fag-ash Gargoyle: Not welcome...

One would-be customer, May Dupp-Nayme, responded: “That's a shame Alf! I’ve never been in your pub, but I think that's crazy. Why shouldn't I enjoy a ciggie in the garden with my pint?”

“It's not harming anyone else! I work hard not to be nannied! Ridiculous!” Sue Doenym added: “I've never smoked in my life, but I don't agree with that. Not in the garden - you could lose a lot of customers.”

Fay Kydee commented: “One of my few joys left is a cigarette and a glass of wine in a pub garden. My garden is a cheaper option anyway, but I liked helping our local businesses.”

Hugh Issie simply wrote: “Go woke, go broke.”

The pub has won support, though, with regulars Jim and Angie Smith among those backing the ban. “This is a great decision,” Angie said. “Good for Alf. I’m glad he’s ignoring the culture warriors and doing what’s best for us regulars and our pub”.

This wasn’t what we wanted to hear, so we stopped talking to Mr. and Mrs. Bloody Lefty Smith.

Despite the campaign by the right-wing local press, Mr. Standpipe is undeterred and says the support he has received - both on social media and in person - is reassuring.

“I think people are getting fed up with this ‘culture wars’ bollocks,” he said. “What with Trump getting elected President in the US, people are starting to wake up to what a bunch of obnoxious twerps most right-wingers really are.”

“I think we'll probably gain business over it. We certainly won’t be losing any customers I don’t want to lose.”

“Weatherforks attracts all the local shouty right-wing pensioners, the binge-drinkers and the substance abusers, so we’re offering an alternative that seems to appeal to ordinary decent people, despite the best efforts of the MORON to demonise us.”  

“I think we may be the first to do it, but we won't be the last. 

In the real world, it looks as if a certain local news-site’s attempt at a Daily Mail-style bit of ‘culture wars’ didn’t get the support from its usual trolls that it probably hoped for… 

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Honesty wrote:
Well done Mr Standpipe, it's terrible trying to enjoy the air, when someone is smoking nearby.
Much more likely to visit now. Quite what the MORON is playing at is (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor).

👍+84

CashnCarrie wrote:
Well done Alf happy to know we can visit and enjoy a meal outside without having someone standing about puffing a fag all over us, hope you and the missus both keep well. Glad you have ignored the culture warriors at the MORON who are just a bunch of (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor)

👍+54

Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
More evidence that the word "woke" has lost whatever meaning it used to have. The right-wing trolls will have to find another tedious insult. I bet the MORON are bitterly disappointed that no-one is rising to their culture wars troll-bait, or at least not in the way they hoped (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor)

👍+40

Neil Barse replied:
At last, GreyMondeoMan confesses the truth about himself before slinking away to stew in his own UK-hating demented leftist bile. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Watcher posts on here.

👎-8

Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
I know I can always rely on you for tedious insults Neil.

👍+14

Neil Barse replied:
A typically vindictive reply from the vindictive peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll greymondeoman

👎-10

Nostrildigger wrote:
Great news, smokers are inherently selfish, and don't care who their second hand smoke / vape goes. Well done Alf for taking a stand against the MORON and their ((this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor)

👍+34

RaininghamTed wrote:
Good on him. Why should people have to put up with horrible smelly smoke of any sort being blown over them? Smokers say it's a restriction on their freedom - what about my freedom to sit outside f I want to? Seems the MORON are quick to attack ‘free speech’ when it doesn’t fit their (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor)

👍+38

MidwaysFinest wrote:
Good luck, as we all know that the smoke blows in, & the smell of cigarettes in the pub gardens lingers like a wet fart in a lift. I would visit a non smoking pub for sure, especially if it pisses off the right-wing hacks at the MORON, who seem to have misjudged (this comment has been edited as it does conform to our community guidelines – the Editor)

👍+36

Vaughanagain wrote:
I'd be more likely to visit for food in the garden in the summer. Should ban vaping too though. I don't want to taste strawberry shortcake either while I'm eating my curry. Why do the anti-woke brigade think this (comments are now closed on this article because they aren’t going the way we hoped they would – the Editor)

👍+36

Residents ‘Horrified’ As Eesgon Nutz ‘Nazi’ Billboard Appears In Claptout-On-Sea.

A billboard mocking Easgon Nutz, linking him to the far-right and urging people not to buy his Tossla electric cars, has been erected in a Midway town.

Evil unfunny demented left-wing propaganda...

The sign in Claptout-On-Sea features the now-infamous photo of controversial businessman Eesgon Nutz stretching his arm out at a rally - which has been likened by demented lefties to a Nazi salute - accompanied by the words "Eesgon Nutz Isn’t Very Nice – Don’t Buy A Tossla".

News of the installation on the corner of the High Street came as it was reported that President Donald Turnip has told his Cabinet and inner circle that Nutz is stepping back from his role as a special government far-right loony.

The Tossla and SpacedOUT founder was scheduled to step down in May but is now leaving early, reports claim.

Locals say they were "shocked" to see the sign.

Matthew Yapper, a restaurateur and property developer from Chattingham, witnessed the billboard being installed last week and was immediately taken aback by its message.

Matthew Yapper: "Horrified"...

“I was having a break from firing some employees when I overheard some guys putting up the billboard saying they thought it was bloody funny,” he said.

"I was absolutely horrified when I saw what they were putting up.”

The 51-year-old compared the billboard’s message to propaganda tactics.

“I looked at it and thought, this is clearly an example of evil far-left communism in the sense of repeating a lie about someone until people believe it,” he added.

“I mean, everybody knows that Mr. Nutz was just waving to his old Mum during President Turnip’s inauguration ceremony” said Mr. Yapper.”

He also questioned the process behind how the billboard was approved, saying: “You have to go through certain channels to get a billboard up, and I wondered what channels had been gone through here to allow such a thing.”

“Things like Brexit billboards were obviously all checked for factual accuracy and were sponsored by right-wing organisations, so they must be OK.”

“So how dare a bunch of demented lefties use billboards to poke fun at respected right-wing businessmen like Eesgon Nutz?  Anything that I don’t like is an abuse of freedom of speech and should therefore be taken down immediately.”

The billboard has become a hot topic of conversation amongst a few Daily Telegraph readers in Claptout-On-Sea who need their daily fix of confected right-wing outrage.

“Even a lot of people here who probably follow more left-wing politics are quite shocked by it too,” he commented. “Or at least, me and my chums at the local Conservative Club think they should be. Not that I’ve spoken to any of them. Bloody demented lefties, why would anyone want to talk to them anyway, let alone listen to them?”

In an attempt to get some answers that he could then rant about, Mr Yapper reached out to Crystal Groove — a company that manages billboards across England — to find out who had commissioned the sign.

Mr Yapper explained: “I actually phoned them up and tried to speak to someone in regards to who covers Kent, and they had the cheek to tell me it was a spoof ad paid for by a group called ‘We Don’t Like Eesgon Nutz”, that there was still a thing in England called ‘Freedom Of Speech’ and if I didn’t like it I could always vote REFORM.”

The Chattingham resident believes the issue raises larger questions.

“Free speech is a precious thing,” he said.

“Why should obviously demented lefties be allowed to abuse it by putting up stuff that right-wing businessmen like me don’t approve of. It’s a disgrace.”

In the real world, a certain local news outlet takes the confected outrage of one local (right-wing?) “horrified” property developer and confuses it with the opinions of every other local resident, none of whom their “journalist” appears to have even spoken to. What could be the reason behind such a hysterical and bizarrely one-sided view of a minor bit of piss-taking? As for more information about the activities of the group behind the protest ad, a simple internet search seems to be beyond their investigative abilities…

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Tornado watcher wrote:
This seems to be a rather hysterical and one-sided report of what is a minor (this comment has been edited as it does not meet our community guidelines – the Editor)

👎👎👎👎-1000

Chad Grindr wrote:
What about worrying about what is currently happening in this country?

Winter fuel payments removed from pensioners resulting in an estimated 4000 deaths
Criminals let out of prison early before completing their sentences
Refusal to hold a public enquiry child sexual grooming
Cuts to vital services for vulnerable people
Student tuition fees raised
Civil unrest
More anti social behaviour
Taxes for working people Increasing
Increasing illegal immigration
Corrupt politicians
Oh well, I guess these things don't fit the agenda of those deranged leftie dimwits that paid for this silly poster;-)

👍+100

Yu Rong replied:
Yes, but Labour are more concerned you should be looking across the Atlantic not what's happening here.

👍+100

Tornado Watcher replied:
That’s a lot of whataboutery in one comment, Chad. I still see you are banging out the old right-wing propaganda line about 4000 deaths as a result of WFP changes. That was an ‘estimate’, Chad, made before the winter. Do a search on “pensioners dying of hypothermia” instead. You won’t find one single example from the winter of 2024-25. I’m sure the Daily Mail would have been screeching it from the rooftops if there had been even one single death attributable to WFP withdrawal.
As for your other “worries”, were things really any better under the Tories?
Oh, thought not.
Truth is, someone is poking fun at one of your heroes and like all right-wingers, the one thing you lot really don’t like is being laughed at…

👎-89

Ed 2468motorway replied:
Please explain how any of the things you listed are anything to do with a spoof ad mocking Eesgon Nutz, which I believe was the subject of this story.

👎-98

Yu Rong replied:
Ooooh get you and your tantrums. Eeesgon Nutz is a champion of true free speech and therefore any mockery of him should be silenced.

👍+213

Neil Barse replied:
A typical comment from a far-left socialist, whose powers of understanding are so limited that they have to ask idiotic questions in order to clarify what is obvious to 99% of the population i.e. anything deranged lefties say should be shut down to prevent the erosion of free speech

👍+324

Chad Grinder replied:
I totally agree Neil. These far-left socialists are complete idiots and should not be allowed to clutter up the comments section with their fact-free assertions and insults.

👍+345

Yu Rong replied:
I totally agree Chad. Ed 2468 really is just a far-left troll, whose continuous stream of gibberish and pointless questions is just designed to clutter up this forum and stop any sensible discussion of the issues raised by this story of Labo*r incompetence and corruption.

👍+298

Chad Grinder replied:
I totally agree Yu Rong. These far-left socialists are complete idiots and should not be allowed to clutter up the comments section with their repetitive fact-free assertions and insults.

👍+345

Neil Barse replied:
I’m afraid Ed 2468 is just a bitter and twisted leftist Labo*r loser, spreading lies and whataboutery. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time he posts on here.

👍+302

Chad Grinder replied:
I totally agree Neil. These far-left socialists are complete idiots and should not be allowed to clutter up the comments section with their increasingly boring, repetitive and fact-free assertions and insults.

👍+345

Yu Rong replied:
I totally agree Chad. Ed 2468 really is just a far-left troll, whose continuous stream of gibberish and pointless questions is just designed to clutter up this forum and stop any sensible discussion of the issues raised by this story of Labo*r incompetence and corruption.

👍+298

Neil Barse replied:
Chad/Yu Rong - do not waste your effort trying to engage leftist idiots like Ed 2468 in rational debate. They deserve only insults, random distraction issues, whataboutery and gaslighting. This involves no rational thought whatsoever, which should not be wasted on demented leftists who disagree with us. This will ensure that wishy-washy, woke snowflakes will be driven away, meaning that WE WIN all of the time.

👍+276

OldSchoolNutter wrote:
Makes me kind of want to buy a Tossla just to get the deranged lefties all foaming at the mouth.

👍+100

Gonads replied:
Oh please go and buy one. Please. Then we can laugh at you some more.

👍+12

Gonads wrote:
What's the problem? It's a form of free speech, so I'm afraid those who don't like it will just have to (this comment has been edited as it does not conform to our community guidelines – The Editor)

👎👎👎👎👎-987

Auntie Nartsie wrote:
If a person did that for real on the High street they would be arrested.
Councils frown upon those that fly union Jacks or St Georges day flags.
Two Tier Country, different laws for different people.

👍+98

Gonads replied:
It’s called ‘free speech’ Auntie. I thought you approved of free speech.

👎-9

Auntie Nartsie replied:
It’s only free speech if I agree with it. Otherwise it’s just hate-filled far-left propaganda which should be banned and the perpetrators sent to jail for five years just like those vicious and evil leftie Just Stop Oil terrorists. What part of “free” don’t you understand?

👍+109

Auntie Nartsie wrote:
Which brainless idiots allowed it to be printed and displayed?
Or is it rules only apply when it suits?
Get it down and prosecute.

👍+99

Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
What could possibly link a Nazi-saluting bloke to the far right?

👎-89

Neil Barse replied:
Didn’t you read the article? It wasn’t a Nazi salute, he was just waving to his Mum. Typical twisting of the truth by the typically stupid Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll that is Grey Mondeo Man. A bitter lonely insidious individual who’s mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Grey Mondeo Man posts on here.

👍+142

Gordon Bellend replied:
The left go with anything the media instructs them to. They do not have the capacity to think. They just follow mindlessly.

👍+98

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
It's true. The left just do what they are told to by the Daily Mail, the Daily Telegraph, the Times, the Sun, the Daily Express and the Spectator.

👎-35

Neil Barse replied:
You forgot to mention your favourite rags greymondeoman, The Morning Star, The Socialist Worker, Mirror and the Guardian. Next you'll be claiming that someone waving to their mum is a Nazi salute. Oh you already do when it suits your agenda.

👍+31

Donutwankery wrote:
What is bad about Eesgon Nutz? Sacking the entire US civil service, destroying the left and the global economy is a noble cause.

👍👍👍+477

SuperSmallDick wrote:
Has anybody mention illegal immigrants yet?

👍+12

Gonads replied:
No. We were all waiting for your usual pointless and irrelevant rant.

👍+98

SuperSmallDick wrote:
Meanwhile, another 800,000 Albanian shoplifters crossed the channel in small boats last week and are being housed in luxury hotels while all of our pensioners freeze to death even though its Spring and our farmers are reduced to living in tents as a result of being evicted from their land because they cannot afford to pay their IHT bills. Four more years of Starmer’s communist dictatorship, then I can vote REFORM.

👍+213

Notasoviet Resident wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in next elections because all other political England parties will introduce anti-democratic police state dictatorships unlike truly free Russia as run by champion of democratic freedoms dear Mr. Putin and his Russian oligarch friends whose money is good for UK.

👍+18

 

Health Minister Wes Streeting Denies Labour Plan to Make Assisted Dying Compulsory For Over-80s.

 

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Neil Barse wrote:
Once again this Labour government is looking to kill our pensioners as a solution to the crisis in the NHS. Obviously the plan to freeze them all to death by the removal of the Winter Fuel Payment didn't free up enough hospital beds for all of the migrants coming to the UK for free healthcare. Disgusting. All those demented lefties who voted Labo*r at the last election should hang their heads in shame.

👍+56

Tornado Watcher replied:
Does it ever occur to you that the MORON might just have made up these “plans” as a click-bait headline, just to attract people to yet another desperate subscription begging post?

👎-132

Neil Barse replied:
At last, Tornado Watcher confesses the truth about himself before slinking away to stew in his own UK-hating demented leftist bile. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Watcher posts on here.

👍+102

Tornado Watcher replied:
Thought not.

👎-132

Chad Grindr replied:
Neil, just like all of the UK’s Tory-supporting media outlets, I sincerely hope that the UK economy crashes, inflation spirals out of control and the entire population of the UK is forced into starvation and poverty. Then all patriotic UK-loving people such as ourselves will all be able to crow about how awful Labour are and how much better off everyone is under the Tories.

👍👍+322

SuperSmallDick wrote:
Never mind about Labour's plans for pensioner genocide. What really matters is that another 800,000 Albanian shoplifters crossed the channel in small boats last week and are being housed in luxury hotels while our farmers are reduced to living in tents as a result of being evicted from their land because they cannot afford to pay their IHT bills. Four more years of Starmer’s communist dictatorship, then I can vote REFORM.

👍👍+213

Notasoviet Resident wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in next elections because all other political England parties will introduce anti-democratic police state dictatorships unlike truly free Russia as run by champion of democratic freedoms dear Mr. Putin and his Russian oligarch friends whose money is good for UK.

👍+18

Gargoyle Party Leader Niglet The Gargoyle To Visit Claptout-On-Sea Ahead Of KCC Elections

Niglet the Gargoyle is returning from his main job in the USA to pay a fleeting visit to his Claptout-On-Sea constituency in Midway next week, ahead of the county council elections.

Niglet the Gargoyle: a big job...

It comes as a poll predicted that Niglet the Gargoyle’s company, the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC™©®, will sweep to a landslide victory in the county council elections on May 1, a result that looks likely to be seen across the UK.

Niglet the Gargoyle, who has been the “person with controlling interest” since he set the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC™©® company up in 2022, is due to speak at the Goebbels Event Centre in Claptout-On-Sea on Monday (March 31).

It will be a chance for supporters of REFORM UK Party PLC™©® to meet the candidates standing in this year’s Kent County Council (KCC) elections on May 1.

Speaking ahead of the event, Farage said: “The local elections are fast approaching and my REFORM UK Party PLC™©® will be standing in every single seat across Kent to give local people a genuine alternative to vote for, even if some of our candidates don’t actually exist.”

Niglet the Gargoyle: "California Dreamin'"

“So I thought it might be worth leaving the side of my great friend, the US President Donald Turnip, just to show my face for a few days to my miserable constituents, not that I’ll have the time to talk to them for security reasons, of course. I’ll be way too busy for that sort of mundane nonsense.”

“This event will be the perfect chance for me to boost my ego in front of the UK national media outlets and spout a load of Brexit-style empty promises and lies about how my REFORM UK Party PLC™©® will get the country back on track.”

“And the UK media and my growing fan base will slavishly lap it all up, because they have no sense of pattern recognition and the memory retention of goldfish.”

“Fifteen years of government by pandering to right-wing hysteria has broken the country.”

“My REFORM UK Party PLC™©® will fix it by pandering to right-wing hysteria and doing just whatever is popular with the UK right-wing press.”

Doors will open at 5pm with speeches scheduled to start at 6.30pm. Tickets for the torch-lit rally cost £3.

More star-struck swooning over their hero in the real world. And not a mention of events by any other party so far… 

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy. 

Victor Laudanum wrote:
As has become increasingly clear from its copy, in recent months, Heave PLC Media has decided that anything with even a whiff of left-of-centre about it is anathema to it. Where are the interviews with other political parties, to get their take on things, given that we have county elections in May? It is almost as if (this comment has been edited because it does not meet our community standards – the Editor).

👎👎👎👎-1000

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll that is Grey Mondeo Man. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Grey Mondeo Man posts on here.

👍👍👍👍+959

Victor Laudanum replied:
Neil, you have cut and paste the wrong name into your generic abuse.

👍+13

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll that is Victor Laudanum. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Victor Laudanum posts on here.

👍👍👍+959

 

New Poll Says Gargoyle Party Will Take Control Of All County Councils Everywhere

A poll undertaken on behalf of the MORON suggests that Niglet the Gargoyle’s Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC™©® will sweep to a landslide victory in the county council elections on May, a result that looks likely to be seen across the UK.

Weatherforks punter: Thumbs up for REFORM

We spoke to over twenty shouty right-wing pensioners in various Weatherforks boozers across Midway yesterday lunchtime, and couldn’t find one who wouldn’t vote for his local REFORM UK Party PLC™©® council candidate.

Other parties dismissed our poll as unrepresentative, but our page-view click count and reader’s comments suggests most of our readers aren’t interested in any political party other than the REFORM UK Party PLC™©®, so we don’t care what other parties think.

A Green Party source said activists were not detecting “much enthusiasm” for REFORM UK Party PLC™©® on the doorstep, adding that Nigel the Gargoyle’s pathetic grovelling to US President Donald Turnip is a “total turn-off” for voters.

Niglet the Gargoyle: a winner...

But we don’t care about the greenies because they aren’t the REFORM UK Party PLC™©® and don’t generate the clicks that Niglet the Gargoyle does.

So watch this space for yet more puff-pieces for Niglet the Gargoyle and his Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC™©®, lots of bitching and whining about our elected Labo*r government, and nothing about any other party.

Because it’s all about the page views. Who cares about “balance” or “democracy”? 

In the real world, it’s same ol’ same ol’…..

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy. 

Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
FYI:
Latest YouGov Westminster voting intention (23-24 Mar)
Lab: 23% (-3 from 16-17 Mar)
Ref: 22% (-2)
Con: 22% (=)
Lib Dem: 16% (+2)
Green: 10% (+1)
SNP: 3% (=)

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Neil Barse replied:
What is very simple greymondeoman is the fact you use all those insults based on your interpretation when you personally don't agree, dislike and in retaliation against those who expose you for the vindictive peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll that you are.

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Yu Rong wrote:
Now GMM's going to sulk. You've burst his bubble. Shame on you Neil LOL

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Grey Mondeo Man replied:
Oh, so you two are talking then? When’s Neil’s baby due then, Yu Rong? Must be soon?

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Neil Barse replied:
A typically vindictive reply from the vindictive peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll greymondeoman

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Gargoyle4Ever wrote:
With high taxation and rising living costs across the county it's obviously the votes are going to shift.  Let's hope the REFORM UK Party PLC™©® don't try to insult our intelligence like Labo*r did. I personally want to see firm action on the illegal immigration. I hate what the government have done to the taxpayer. In housing them. Would they take up arms to defend Great Britain. I very much doubt they would. So why give them the 5 star treatment.  Next problem we have is getting Labo*r out of central government. They done nothing for this country

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Deanial wrote:
Have you seen all the new building complexes popping up all over Kent to house the "unaccompanied asylum seeker children”, also known as fighting age men with beards.

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Tornado Watcher replied:
So where are they then? I’m sure we’d have heard about “all the new building complexes popping up all over Kent to house the "unaccompanied asylum seeker children” in the news if they existed. Or do they only exist in your head?

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Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll that is Tornado Watcher. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Watcher posts on here.

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Kentie Girl wrote:
Does anybody actually know what the REFORM UK Party PLC™©® policies are? I've tried to find out but can't find the information anywhere?

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Deanial replied:
Yes. They are easily found online, please see attached
https://www.reformparty.uk/policies

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Tornado Watcher replied:
Thank you for the link. This is the much-vaunted “Contract Out On You”, a bunch of vague aspirations and empty promises that can’t even be called a “manifesto”. It’s not even worth the milliwatts of electricity it uses on a server somewhere. I strongly suggest you read it, just so that you can see what a load of lukewarm methane it really is. It’s Brexit boasting without the bus, a complete (this comment has been edited because it does not meet our community standards – the Editor).

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Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll that is Tornado Watcher. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Watcher posts on here.

👍👍👍+959

Tornado Watcher replied:
Hi Neil. Are you giving your Chad Grindr ID a rest tonight? Not had any sneers or insults from that platform yet.

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Chad Grindr replied:
A typically vindictive reply from the vindictive peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll Tornado Watcher

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Tornado Watcher replied:
Thanks Neil, business as usual.

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Yu Rong wrote:
It's always interesting, I was reading the findings of the poll. The headlines of which are a 100% victory for the REFORM UK Party PLC™©®. It'll be interesting to compare forecast with actuals.

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R Weforreal replied:
'Yu Rong' gives a reasonable and thoughtful view, without expressing any kind of an opinion, and points to the likely contrast between the MORON forecast and the future reality. FOR WHICH, at the time I read this, people give thumbs down votes. We (rightly) blame the worst sorts of Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile trolls for their undemocratic behaviour, and it is plain where their support comes from. No wonder our democracy is in such a mess. Though there is little in your response I need to agree with, you get a thumbs up from me on principle!

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Ed 2468motorway wrote:
Another user ID from the Neil Barse stable. He's having a dig at Labo*r as usual.

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Yu Rong wrote:
I note your generous and thoughtful response, R Weforreal. Thank you.

👎-10

Neil Barse replied:
Grey Mondeo Man comments on an article and so does Ed2468 motorway.
Multiple IDs methinks, especially given that once again, you use the same tired insults, whataboutery, gaslighting, sealioning and misinformation that the vindictive peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll greymondeoman uses. I also see the ‘red thumb’ fairies are out again, downvoting our comments

👎-9

Grey Mondeo Man:
Or perhaps normal people are just getting tired of your relentless and rather boring troll behaviour?

👍+28

Chad Grindr replied:
You are absolutely correct as usual, Neil. Multiple IDs methinks, especially given that Ed uses the same tired insults, whataboutery, gaslighting, sealioning and misinformation that the vindictive peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll greymondeoman uses.

👎-10

Yu Rong replied
You are absolutely correct as usual, Chad. Multiple IDs methinks, especially given that Ed uses the same tired insults, whataboutery, gaslighting, sealioning and misinformation that the vindictive peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll greymondeoman uses.

👎-9

RSlickR replied:
You are absolutely correct as usual, Yu Rong. Multiple IDs methinks, especially given that Ed uses the same tired insults, whataboutery, gaslighting, sealioning and misinformation that the vindictive peddler of misinformation and Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll greymondeoman uses.

👎-10

Deanial replied:
Let's hope those figures are correct, Yu Rong. Labo*r are destroying everything, at a national level and on a local level.

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Victor Laudanum wrote:
As has become increasingly clear from its copy, in recent months, Heave PLC Media has decided that anything with even a whiff of left-of-centre about it is anathema to it. Where are the interviews with other political parties, to get their take on things, given that we have county elections in May? It is almost as if ((this comment has been edited because it does not meet our community standards – the Editor).

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Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll that is Victor Laudanum. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Victor Laudanum posts on here.

👍👍👍+959

SuperSmallDick wrote:
My local Tory councillor told me that Re*ves is going to put VAT up to 100% to pay for driving lessons for all illegal immigrants. Meanwhile, millions of English pensioners are freezing to death thanks to the removal of the WFP and thousands of farmers are living on the streets because they have been made homeless by Labo*r’s IHT changes. Four more years of St*rmer’s communist dictatorship, then I can vote REFORM UK Party PLC™©®.

👍+25

Notasoviet Resident wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM UK Party PLC™©®in next elections because all other political England parties will introduce anti-democratic police state dictatorships unlike truly free Russia as run by champion of democratic freedoms dear Mr. Putin and his Russian oligarch friends whose money is good for UK.

👍+18