R.E.F.O.R.M UK Party PLC™®© To Send Easgon Nutz-style ‘DOPE’ Team To Look At County Council’s £2.6 bn Finances

R.E.F.O.R.M UK Party PLC™®© chairman Gizza Bakhanda says the party’s Department Of Political Expediency (DOPE) team is ready to get to work at the County Council.

Mr. Bakhanda - DOPE boss

He met leader Cllr Lotte Drittereich, chief executive Amanda Glutenfrei and senior staff this morning, to take their orders from leading R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC™®© member Trikki Dice and Norbert Halfbaked - an 8-year-old ‘tech entrepreneur’ - who are leading the cost-saving efforts.

The DOPE, a slavish UK pound-shop version of a similar scheme set up by U.S. billionaire (and owner of ultra-right-wing online propaganda site Xcrement) Easgon Nutz to look at American federal spending, is tasked with identifying sound-bite headline-grabbing opportunities within its party-controlled councils across the country.

Norbert Halfbaked - tech wizard

Mr. Dice, who is also chairman of the Society of Millionaires for the Election of Extreme Right-wingers (SMEER) said he was looking forward to spending council taxpayer’s money on R.E.F.O.R.M UK Party PLC™®© propaganda.

“Everyone knows that county councils are regularly audited by independent audit bodies and that the scope for identifying real cost savings is therefore pretty limited,” he admitted.

“So we’re going to take a leaf out of Easgon Nutz’s playbook. Quite simply, we plan to make a lot of noise about trivial issues, exaggerate numbers or just make shit up to suit our own agenda. The exercise is all about generating sound-bites and click-bait propaganda for R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC™®© whilst throwing as much shit as we can at the Labo*r government.”

Trikki Dice - SMEER campaign...

“All we have to do is feed our tame right-wing UK media some culture-wars headlines about how council tax-payers money is being wasted blah blah blah and they’ll do the rest, just like they always do. It’s all part of our ongoing SMEER campaign - and council-tax payers now get to pay for it. How brilliant is that?”

Mr. Bakhanda, the party chairman, says “cutting-edge random-number technology” will be used to “deliver Daily Mail/Express/Telegraph-style confected outrage for our voters” and was happy with the initial meeting, saying that the party had a mandate from its owner (Niglet the Gargoyle) to deliver propaganda for his own glory and political benefit.

He said that he was sure there “were many examples of waste across the country, even though the DOPE team hasn't actually started work yet, but we’ll be bringing you lots of sound-bites soon, honest, yes indeedy…”

Our local county council is the first to undergo this analysis. It comes after the gargoyle’s party took 57 of the 81 seats at County Hall at the May 1 election.

At a campaign event in April, the gargoyle said that his R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC™®© would “bring our own pet auditors in” to the county council, citing the council’s “gross financial mismanagement” whilst offering no evidence of that whatsoever.

Mr Bakhanda said: “For too long, our newspapers have been saying that British taxpayers have watched their money vanish into a black hole.”

Gargoyle for PM!!!

“They’ve been banging on about how taxes keep going up, how bin collections keep getting less frequent, how potholes remain unfixed, how local services keep getting cut etc. etc. – whilst supporting the last 15 years of Tory government kleptocracy that caused it all.”

“R.E.F.O.R.M UK Party PLC™®© won a historic victory on a mandate to carry on in the same vein as the Tories, by wringing as much money as possible out of UK council tax-payers and into the offshore bank accounts of our shady overseas backers.”

“As promised, we have created a UK DOPE team to fan the flames of our right-wing media’s manufactured outage and emotive culture-wars issues. We haven’t a clue how to fix out massive county council budget shortfall, but that doesn’t matter.”

“We’re just on a four-year county council-funded publicity campaign for the R.E.F.O.R.M. UK Party PLC™®© so we can get our Glorious Gargoyle elected as PM at the next general election in four year’s time. Nothing else matters to us.”

A letter sent from the DOPE team to the county council ahead of the meeting, read: “We don’t care about woke trivia such as data protection legislation, privacy laws or worker’s rights.”

“We demand that all relevant council officers provide the DOPE team with full and prompt access to: all council-held documents, reports and records (electronic and paper), relevant finance, procurement, audit and contract data, meeting minutes and correspondence concerning major procurements, any internal investigations or whistle-blowing reports relevant to financial matters, or anything else we fancy trawling through.”

It added: “Should you resist this request, we will consider any obstruction of our intent to pass all of this juicy info on to our shady overseas billionaire backers for their own enrichment to be gross misconduct and you’ll be got rid of. So there.”

It was signed by the DOPE team leaders, Mr. Bakhanda and also the gargoyle himself - none of whom hold positions on the county council - but who cares about democratic stuff like that?

A County Council spokesman said: “We look forward to continuing to work collaboratively and professionally with the new administration here at the county council, including the DOPE team.”

“We’ve always been committed to transparency and accountability and have been consistently praised by external auditors for the accuracy of its accounts and the prudent management of public funds.”

“Most of our information, including full budget, external contracts register, and auditors’ reports, is already in the public domain for anyone to scrutinise and review.”

“So let these posturing newbie bullies have their bit of fun. The county council has nothing to hide and these R.E.F.O.R.M. UK idiots will soon wind up making themselves look useless, petty and stupid. As usual…” 

In the real world, our local news outlet’s political favourites are all set to generate loads of click bait. Let’s hope the inevitable train-wreck doesn’t have too many serious consequences… 

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Gorden Bellend wrote:
Just stop the wokery and free donuts for all the public sector limpets. Easy savings. Hold the greedy building developers to their promises with hefty fines if they don't hit their targets or pay their s106 payment. More speed cameras and more cameras at junctions, fine for jumping lights, bus lane driving and blocking junctions. More cctv - hefty fines for littering, dog poo not cleared and dodgy parking.

👍+5

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I thought you freedom-loving R.E.F.O.R.M.ists were against any form of controls on business, traffic or social behaviour. And do you really think that ‘anti-wokery’, donut bans or ‘fines’ will help the county council dig their way out of its £75 million budget shortfall?

👍+9

Neil Barse replied:

Yet more tedious insults, lies and sealioning from GreyMondeoMan. I think you leftists must be mentally ill to constantly come out with the lies and whataboutery the way you do. It is obvious to anyone who isn’t a completely moronic, bed-wetting leftist cretin that this Labour government is in complete denial about the dangers posed by hoards of invisible nudists roaming the streets totally uncontrolled. Labo*r need to removed from power as soon as possible.

👍+54

Chad Grinder replied:

I totally agree Neil. These far-left socialists are complete idiots and should not be allowed to clutter up the comments section with their increasingly boring, repetitive and fact-free assertions and insults.

👍+54

Yu Rong replied:

I totally agree Chad. GreyMondeoMan really is just a far-left troll, whose continuous stream of gibberish, insults and pointless questions is just designed to clutter up this forum and stop any sensible discussion of the issues raised by this story of Labo*r incompetence and corruption.

👍+54

RSlickR replied:

I totally agree Chad. GreyMondeoMan really is just a far-left troll, whose continuous stream of gibberish, insults and pointless questions is just designed to clutter up this forum and stop any sensible discussion of the issues raised by this story of Labo*r incompetence and corruption.

👍+54

Chad Grindr wrote:

Personally I have no issues with R.E.F.O.R.M. starting a process of inspecting the finances at county councils In fact given the dire finances left to them by the Labo*r government of Blair and Brown, this is exactly what many have been calling for. So even if it doesn't uncover any wastage this additional layer of transparency is no bad thing! Looking at the comments below of whom is most agitated by this, it comes as little surprise to see many far left/Labo*r supporters that would otherwise be celebrating the interrogation of a previous Tory run authority's accounts. Why are they so fearful? After all the Labo*r run Birmingham council as an example is a complete bankrupt mess or perhaps as we know Labo*r run authorities don't like transparency and like to cover things up, even child grooming...

👍+54

Tornado Watcher replied:

Nice rant, spoiled only by the fact that prior to R.E.F.O.R.M. our county council was run by the Tories since 1973. So as usual, your anti-Labour drivel and whataboutery is irrelevant.

👍+8

Chad Grindr replied:

As it's impossible to enter into a debate with low intellectual idiots who only wish is too troll others such as yourself TW, it's understandable that nobody bothers, especially as you can't even understand what proper debating is. You've been described as an argumentative troll on many occasions, a description that fits you perfectly. Now run along and find some of those you consider are Nimbys and sealion them. LOL

👍+54

RSlickR replied:

Great reply as ever Neil.

👍+54

Chad Grindr replied:

Thank you Phil

👍+54

Neil Barse replied:

Great post as ever Chad.

👍+54

Chad Grindr replied:

Thank you Phil

👍+54

I like arsecream replied:

Great post as ever Neil.

👍+54

Chad Grindr replied:

Thank you Phil

👍+54

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

But this is not "an inspection". It is not an "interrogation of a previous Tory run authority's accounts". It is a hack by members and contractors of a political party. I doubt if it will stand. Indeed, it is possible they wish to be seen to be thwarted in their underhand endeavours. They can then whine about a cover-up. I'm as opposed to the last Tory administration as anyone. But this is, to put it mildly, not the way to go about things.

👍+11

Yu Rong replied:

As anybody but a leftist idiot like you would acknowledge, the only reason the above ‘hack’ could possibly be true is because Labo*r has opened the door and R.E.F.O.R.M. seized the opportunity to step in. If R.E.F.O.R.M. messes things up it will therefore be entirely the fault of Labo*r. Of course, if things go well, it will be down to the brilliance of a proper right-wing administration hampered only by a leftist Labo*r government.

👍+54

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

I see – the usual ‘heads you win, tails I lose’ situation – as is ever the case with you righties. As for DOPE, it really does look like a council-tax funded political exercise for the benefit of R.E.F.O.R.M.

👍+12

Yu Rong replied:

Perhaps you should take your suspicions to the police GMM?

👍+54

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Well, for all of R.E.F.O.R.M.’s huffing, puffing and boasting, I’ll be very surprised if they do actually break data protection and privacy laws. I suspect that the DOPEs will be reduced to trying to make political capital out of stuff that’s already in the public domain. Anyway, now the summer weather is here, I expect the police will be fully engaged trying to stop your far-right chums from rioting, looting and threatening people on the pretext of ‘protesting against immigrants’ or whatever, just like they usually do when the sun shines.

👍+10

Chad Grindr wrote:
Rachel Reeves should resign.

👍+54

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Why? Or is this yet more of your irrelevant anti-Labour drivel?

👍+8

Neil Barse replied:

All your opinions are nothing less than worthless Extreme Far Left hateful anti British antagonist propaganda Grey Mondeo Man. But it's nothing less than has become expected of you since the era when you believed yourself top dog on here. How the mighty have fallen since then, as more moderate sensible truthful ppl have revealed you for the insidious multi account troll that you are Grey Mondeo Man.

👍+54

Yu Rong replied:

Great post as ever Neil.

👍+54

Chad Grindr replied:

Thank you Phil

👍+54

RSlickR replied:

Great post as ever Chad.

👍+54

Chad Grindr replied:

Thank you Phil

👍+54

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Er? What on earth are you on about?

👍+6

Neil Barse replied:

As it's impossible to enter into a debate with low intellectual idiots who only wish is too troll others such as yourself GMM, it's understandable that nobody bothers, especially as you can't even understand what proper debating is. You've been described as an argumentative troll on many occasions, a description that fits you perfectly. Now run along and find some of those you consider are Nimbys and sealion them. LOL

👍+54

Psuedocreem2 wrote:
Comrades you should not be concerned about what R.E.F.O.R.M does they are currently only political party who can break dominance of appalling anti British, Labour, Tory and Liberal parties so U.K. can build good friendship with nice Mr. Putin and only true European democracy of Russia they are your only hope now.

👍+1