Gargoyle Party Leader Niglet The Gargoyle To Visit Claptout-On-Sea Ahead Of KCC Elections

Niglet the Gargoyle is returning from his main job in the USA to pay a fleeting visit to his Claptout-On-Sea constituency in Midway next week, ahead of the county council elections.

Niglet the Gargoyle: a big job...

It comes as a poll predicted that Niglet the Gargoyle’s company, the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC™©®, will sweep to a landslide victory in the county council elections on May 1, a result that looks likely to be seen across the UK.

Niglet the Gargoyle, who has been the “person with controlling interest” since he set the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC™©® company up in 2022, is due to speak at the Goebbels Event Centre in Claptout-On-Sea on Monday (March 31).

It will be a chance for supporters of REFORM UK Party PLC™©® to meet the candidates standing in this year’s Kent County Council (KCC) elections on May 1.

Speaking ahead of the event, Farage said: “The local elections are fast approaching and my REFORM UK Party PLC™©® will be standing in every single seat across Kent to give local people a genuine alternative to vote for, even if some of our candidates don’t actually exist.”

Niglet the Gargoyle: "California Dreamin'"

“So I thought it might be worth leaving the side of my great friend, the US President Donald Turnip, just to show my face for a few days to my miserable constituents, not that I’ll have the time to talk to them for security reasons, of course. I’ll be way too busy for that sort of mundane nonsense.”

“This event will be the perfect chance for me to boost my ego in front of the UK national media outlets and spout a load of Brexit-style empty promises and lies about how my REFORM UK Party PLC™©® will get the country back on track.”

“And the UK media and my growing fan base will slavishly lap it all up, because they have no sense of pattern recognition and the memory retention of goldfish.”

“Fifteen years of government by pandering to right-wing hysteria has broken the country.”

“My REFORM UK Party PLC™©® will fix it by pandering to right-wing hysteria and doing just whatever is popular with the UK right-wing press.”

Doors will open at 5pm with speeches scheduled to start at 6.30pm. Tickets for the torch-lit rally cost £3.

More star-struck swooning over their hero in the real world. And not a mention of events by any other party so far… 

Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy. 

Victor Laudanum wrote:
As has become increasingly clear from its copy, in recent months, Heave PLC Media has decided that anything with even a whiff of left-of-centre about it is anathema to it. Where are the interviews with other political parties, to get their take on things, given that we have county elections in May? It is almost as if (this comment has been edited because it does not meet our community standards – the Editor).

👎👎👎👎-1000

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll that is Grey Mondeo Man. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Grey Mondeo Man posts on here.

👍👍👍👍+959

Victor Laudanum replied:
Neil, you have cut and paste the wrong name into your generic abuse.

👍+13

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid Far Left hateful anti British antagonist europhile troll that is Victor Laudanum. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Victor Laudanum posts on here.

👍👍👍+959