Niglet the Gargoyle, owner of the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC ©™® and absentee MP for the Midway constituency of Claptout-On-Sea, proclaimed that British politics was being totally transformed as a result of his party claiming victory in two Midway by-elections this week.
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| Niglet the Gargoyle: All The Way From America... |
“Of the fifteen by-elections held in the UK this week, the fact that we’ve won two of them shows that we are on course to win the next general election by a landslide” said a jubilant gargoyle.
Speaking from his home in
He said the results were testament to his party’s “new, professionalised approach of adopting right-wing newspaper editorials as policy and bitching about every single thing the Labour government does.”
“Unfortunately, the rest of the country are far less credulous than Midway’s population of simple-minded rabid right-wing pensioners, but we’re hoping to grow our brand of simplistic, flag-waving culture wars and knee-jerk, anti-government propaganda among the ranks of the apathetic and easily-led across the country.”
The result will send shockwaves through the Labour ranks at MBC who have been hopeful of defying expectations and holding onto power at Midway borough.
Labour currently have 69 of the 81 seats on the council.
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| Gargoyle: "professionalised..." |
The Gargoyle said: “Obviously I am very pleased with the results from Midway. Screeching hysterical scare stories and manufactured outrage about Labour’s national policies is obviously having an effect at a local level and reflects our new, professionalised approach to disinformation.”
“Now we are going all out for Midway Council in 2027 and I will be addressing a Masonic dinner in Rainingham tonight (Nov 22) via Skype from my US residence to that effect.”
The Conservatives were beaten into fourth place at Dirtford and fifth place at Numbskulle West in the polls held yesterday. The five-minute count took place this morning.
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| Cllr. Voletrouser: Looking for merger... |
“Gargoyle’s party is occupying the platform of pandering to thick old fascist pensioners by manufacturing outrage about distraction issues like immigration and culture wars, which is where we Tories should be.”
“Still, I have every confidence that our new Tory party leader is taking us in the right direction, i.e. a merger with REFORM so that the right-wing dimwit vote doesn’t get split at the 2029 general election like it did this year…”
By-election results were as follows:
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| REFORM's Richard Faykydee |
Richard Faykydee (REFORM UK PLC©™®) 65 votes (37%)
Victoria Spart (Labour) 58 votes (33%)
Bunty Hopper (Green Party) 29 votes (16%)
Pearl Clutcher (Conservative) 22 votes (12%)
Tarquin Poledancer (Liberal Democrats) 4 votes (2%)
Turnout 0.4%
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| REFORM's Bob Maidupp-Naim |
James Maidupp-Naim (REFORM UK PLC©™®) 28 votes (51%)
Peter Anne Summers (Liberal Democrats) 13 votes (24%)
Michael Redflagge (Labour) 11 votes (20%)
Sue Docreem (Putin Democracy Party) 2 votes (4%)
Chadwick Grinder (Conservatives) 1 vote (2%)
Turnout 0.2%
...and over in the real world at click-bait corner, the rabid right-wing faithful are just lovin' it...
Comments:
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Pseudocreem 2
wrote:
It is good for
Chad Grunter
wrote:
I am impressed with Mr. Gargoyle’s fledgling party and its achievements to
date.
It has an appeal to all levels of society, even the woke, liberal,
bed-wetting greenies, who should be pleased about how Mr. Gargoyle has created
his new party simply by recycling the old Brexit Party, from its empty
rhetorical policies right down to its logo.
How ‘green’ is that?
Now that the Tories are a busted flush and Labo*r are being dragged down by the
Aunt Nartsie replied:
I couldn’t agree more. Personally, I think anyone under the age of 18 should be
given a sound thrashing once a week. What gives them the right to go around
being young and happy, and having hopes and dreams? Mr. Gargoyle will soon out
a stop to all that! He’ll soon make them just as miserable,
bitter, twisted and hopeless as I am.
Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied;
I think it is essential that young working-class people are deprived of any
aspirations at all. The last government were well on their way to achieving
that until they were removed from power by the ignorant masses. It is a fact of
English life that the only function of the plebeian classes is to service the wants
and needs of their betters such as me. I am increasingly confident that Mr.
Gargoyle and his party company staff will ensure that unquestioning servility becomes
the norm for anyone who isn’t as wealthy as we are.
Super Small Dick wrote:
Gargoyle’s got it right. Who cares about the UK economy, the NHS, public
infrastructure blah blah? Hand it all over to American billionaires, just like
Niglet plans to.
Then we can concentrate on what really matters.
Stopping those little boats packed with millions of illegal immigrants from
coming across the
OK, so Niglet doesn’t really have any workable ideas about how to do that, but who
cares? I believe everything he says and so do millions of others along with all
of the decent
Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
The prospect of Mr. Gargoyle’s party gaining power in the