Midway Farmers Revolt Against Evil Labo*r Chancellor R*chel Re*ves Budget Rise in IHT

Billionaire landowner and hobby farmer Mick Darkson - feeling the pinch

Labo*r's inheritance tax raid on farmers has been branded "catastrophic" as their evil class war on the agricultural industry continues. Chancellor R*chel Re*ves has doubled down on the decision, claiming it is "not affordable" to continue to give tax relief to rich landowners.

A scheduled Midway farmers' protest appears to have received the go-ahead after a meeting between local landowner Michael Darkson and evil Labo*r Environment Secretary Steve Reed failed to result in a resolution.

Darkson, who is representing growing numbers of disgruntled rich Midway absentee landowners, accused Chancellor R*chel Re*ves of introducing an “unfair” inheritance tax levy after leaving Whitehall earlier today.

Re*ves announced a 20 per cent levy on farms worth more than £1million in last week’s tax-raising Budget. However, the Chancellor had suggested the threshold could be placed at closer to £3million in some cases.

Speaking to the MORON, Midway landowner Michael Darkson expressed his outrage at the decision and how "catastrophic" it will be for the agricultural industry.

Darkson explained: "I was watching the whole budget in on the television on my yacht in Monaco, and it was like watching a horror movie.

Evil Labo*r Chancellor R*achel Re*ves

"Everything that was announced is absolutely catastrophic for billionaires like me, who have bought up thousands of acres of UK farmland as a way of sheltering our hard-earned billions from Inheritance Tax."

Responding to Re*ves's comments on putting the money back into the NHS and public services, Darkson fumed that what Re*ves claims to have done to benefit the economy will actually do the opposite".

Darkson told GB News: "Expecting rich people to actually pay a proportionate share of tax is totally unfair to rich people. We rich people don’t use the NHS or public services, so why should we subsidise them?” 

“Now that we might actually have to pay some sort of tax on our UK land assets, we’ll probably sell our land off to developers for house-building instead. This will be catastrophic for the farmers and their families who actually do the work on the farms we own.”

“It’ll also be catastrophic for the UK food supply chain. But we don’t care about our tenant farmers or UK food security.”

“Thanks to Re*ves, we’ll be cashing in our UK land holdings and shifting our millions to offshore trust funds instead. If a bunch of yokel farmers go bust and the UK runs out of food, we couldn’t care less. We billionaires have to protect our billions, after all.”

Speaking after he emerged from a meeting with wicked communist Labo*r stooges Reed and Treasury Minister James Murray, Darkson said: “Obviously, we fully dispute the figures the Treasury has been using because they don’t suit our agenda and so we’ve played back our own figures.

“The Treasury is saying only 27 per cent of farms will be within scope of these changes, whereas all farms owned by billionaires like me will be in scope”.

“How the Government can think that wealthy landowners should have to pay inheritance tax is quite unbelievable. We’ve got used to the Tory philosophy that taxes only have to be paid by poor people, who can’t afford clever accountants and lawyers like we can.”

“There’s certainly no resolution today, we’ve made very passionately our perception clear: that this tax change is completely unfair to multi-millionaire land barons like us”.

MicroStrad: For the billionaire land owner in YOUR life

“It had been ruled out by the Secretary of State in the run-up to the election. Now there are many family farms right across the United Kingdom that are worried for their future, given that they are just tenants whose land and livelihoods we’ll be selling off...”

One Midway business is delighted with the budget however. 

MicroStrad, a specialist company that makes really small violins, says that business is booming. 

"Our product is the perfect accompaniment to all of the sob stories rich UK land barons have been coming out with since the IHT changes for agricultural land have been announced," said a MicroStrad spokesman. "Our really tiny violins are just flying off the shelves..."