Midway Borough Council’s First REFORM UK Party PLC ©™® Councillor Talks About Enoch Powell, Margaret Thatcher And Ambitions For UK Domination.

By Our Local Demagoguery Reporter
Simon Goebbels 

The Really Extreme Far Out Right-wing Maniacs UK Party PLC ©™ has secured its first two elected members of Kent County Council, winning a surprise victory last week (November 21).

As part of the MORON’s editorial policy to puff up any far-right victory in elections, we’d thought we’d interview one of their new Medway Borough Council’s councillors. We can’t be bothered with Labour or the Tories any more as they won’t be winning the 2029 general election – or at least, not if we have anything to do with it!

New REFORM PLC Councillor Jim Maidupp-Naim 

Glasgow resident Jim Maidupp-Naim captured the Midway ward of Numbskull East in what was a stunning local council by-election victory that has been heralded as a reshaping of the entire political fabric of the UK.

However, attempts to contact Jim proved to be difficult, probably because he was busy reshaping the entire political fabric of the UK. We got no response from either his given telephone number or his postal address, and his Facebook and Xcrement posts only had generic Really Extreme Far Out Right-wing Maniacs UK Party PLC ©™ information on them.

So we contacted the company office of Niglet the Gargoyle’s Really Extreme Far Out Right-wing Maniacs UK Party PLC ©™, and asked to speak to our new councillor. They told us to “bugger off as we aren’t talking to any left-wing media troublemakers who might write something we don’t like”.

Once we explained that we were the MORON and were looking to write a propaganda piece about their new councillor, they relented and said, “er… OK, we’ll get back to you.”

A few days later, we received a written transcript of a fake interview that we were asked to reprint verbatim. That suited us just fine as it saved us actually having to do any work…

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Jim Maidupp-Naim, 68, who won a local council seat in the Midway ward of Numbskulle East, enters the council HQ in Chattingham at a time of economic uncertainty and as local government looks set for a massive shake-up. Our Local Demagoguery Reporter Simon Goebbels caught up with him…

For a man brought up on the rough streets in Glasgow’s working class west end, it might come as a surprise that one of the first political figures that caught Jim Maidupp-Naim’s notice was Conservative firebrand, Enoch Powell.

Enoch Powell: "My hero..."

Watching BBC news in the late-1960s, he was immediately struck by the man’s swivelling eyeballs, powerful, spittle-flecked ranting and evil-looking moustache, despite being somewhat at odds with his own religious and political background.

 “I don’t know what it was about Powell,” he reflects, “but his ‘Rivers of Blood’ brand of divisive, racist rhetoric struck a chord with me”.

“I didn’t know much about his politics at the time but he had a way of capturing the tiny minds of the credulous in his audience and he certainly had a presence.”

Dominic Cummings: "My Hero"...

One fancies that Jim Maidupp-Naim is drawn to disruptors; people who like to destroy things without offering workable alternatives.

“Boris Johnson, Michael Gove – and of course, their advisor, Dominic Cummings. Why bother to actually learn to play a good game when you can just talk one? That’s certainly a key message I’ve learned in politics. Power is the thing. You don’t have to do anything with it, you just need to have it. Just keep telling people how good everything is and they’ll believe you.”

“That’s where K*ir Sta*mer has got it all wrong. He keeps being honest about the state of the UK’s economy and how the Tories have wrecked it. People don’t want to hear the truth, they just want to be told everything is wonderful. That’s why people liked Boris Johnson. Sure, he was a fat lying charlatan, but he made people laugh.”

Margaret Thatcher: "My Hero..."

Margaret Thatcher is another of Jim’s idols.

“She used the police and armed forces to crush the might of the unions and the socialist scum behind them. She sold off our key national infrastructure to her husband's chums for a pittance. She dismantled the welfare state. She laid the foundations for the destruction of British industry and the rise of the rentier capitalism that has destroyed UK society. She is responsible for today's political environment where the Really Extreme Far-Out Right-wing Maniacs Party UK PLC ®™ can really flourish. She was the first true British ultra-right-wing politician.”

And, of course, there’s Niglet the Gargoyle. 

“I remember his first words to me,” said Jim. “Oi you sweaty sock, lend us twenty quid, I’m a bit short at the moment, he said…”

“There’s a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it,” I thought.

Niglet the gargoyle: "My Hero"

“So I looked at the Really Extreme Far-Out Right-wing Maniacs Party UK PLC ®™ Contract On The People. The so-called policies, to me, were complete populist nonsense that would nevertheless appeal to the uneducated, xenophobic, celebrity-obsessed tabloid-reading masses that form the bulk of the English electorate."

"It’s just a load of ‘culture wars’ sound-bites and vacuous, empty slogans, which is what the people want to hear. It’s perfect.”

“Things like raising the tax allowances for working families without taxing rich people. Increasing police powers and exerting political control over the judiciary so we can look like we are tough on crime, but without actually increasing the numbers or quality of the police force and its supporting justice and prison systems.”

“And of course, blaming all the UK’s problems on illegal immigrants. You have to have an enemy in politics, preferably a manufactured one. Thatcher had the unions and the Falklands War. We prefer to pick on immigrants because they can’t fight back.”

So, what of Sir Keir Starmer’s pre-election pledge to tackle the gangs of people traffickers and their cross-Channel smuggling routes?

“With a lot of effort and commitment it would work in the long-term,” Jim says, “but the majority of the English electorate aren’t interested in “effort and commitment” or “the long term”. They want the promise of simplistic quick fixes and snappy slogans. The Really Extreme Far-Out Right-wing Maniacs Party UK PLC ®™ can offer loads of those.”

So how does he think his party will fare in future elections?

“We’re totally focused on the 2029 general election,” he contends. “We’ve got the UK right-wing media on board and they are throwing as much shit at the Labour government as they can.”

“They’ve been doing a great job in undermining the UK’s democratically-elected government and British institutions as a whole. We want people to feel hopeless and disenfranchised. We’ve already made sure they’re sick of Labour already after just five months, and they don’t want the Tories.”

“We’re positioning ourselves as the only alternative, even though we have no real answers to Britain’s problems.”

“It’s all about gaining power. Power for its own sake. Power to enable Niglet’s new American chums to loot the country and destroy its freedoms as never before, all for the personal benefit of a few shady multi-billionaires.  So, we’ll have to see.”

The MORON isn't the only local news forum writing puff-pieces for far-right local politicians...

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Chad Grindr wrote:
Fair article IMO. After the Tories let so many people down and now this shambles of a Labour government are doing things that they failed to mention in the run up to the general election. So it is interesting to learn some more about the Really Extreme Far-Out Right-wing Maniacs Party UK PLC ®™ after their impressive gains recently for a new political party.
Not surprising to see some comments from the usual shouty leftist types that don't like anyone holding a different opinion to their own.
Some advice for them though, Relax! don't worry you don't have to vote for Niglet the Gargoyle and his friends if you don't want to. Nobody is going to force you, lol. At least not until after the next general election.

👍+4

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I agree that it is useful to learn some more about the Really Extreme Far-Out Right-wing Maniacs Party UK PLC ®™. And what we learned here is that they have no policies, just populist slogans with absolutely no information, or even intention, on actual delivery. And that they seek power not for the benefit of society, but for the benefit of a shady, mega-rich elite. But as you say, no-one has to vote for them. I can only hope that they don’t.

👍+12

Chad Grindr replied:
Do you mind Grey Mondeo Man, I was communicating with Yu Rong. Ha, your attempted manipulation of the votes on MORON articles is so obvious sometimes it's actually amusing and only inflicts more embarrassment on you desperate lefty types.
Anyway, you really do need to relax and stop keeping elbowing your way into conversations and getting all shouty.

👍+1

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I thought this was an open discussion forum rather than just another chat group for the local far-right. As for "vote manipulation", I think the MORON editorial team have far more to do with that than (this comment has been edited as it does not conform to our community standards - the Editor).

👎👎👎👎-500

Yu Rong replied:
Oooh get you and your tantrums.

👍+3

Neil Barse replied:
A TYPICALLY STUPID reply from the TYPICALLY STUPID REMOANING SOCIALIST LA**OR-SUPPORTING WOKE SNOWFLAKE that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all LAZY PARASITIC LEFTIST SCUM, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away AND DIE, you TOFU-EATING, GUARDIAN-READING PILLOCK.

👍👍👍+312

Tornado Watcher wrote:
It's a bit worrying that the MORON is providing a biography of this new councillor, and making him seem like a 'good bloke'. Can we expect similar for all the councillors elected to MBC next year? More worrying is the rise of a party which is very quick to raise populist issues and make people angry, but doesn't provide details of what it would actually do. And how does choosing a MBC member for Numbskulle East help to 'stop the boats'? And how can any election be taken seriously when the turnout was less than 1%?

👎👎👎👎-524

Neil Barse replied:
At last Tornado Watcher confesses the truth about themselves before slinking away to stew in his own UK-hating demented leftist bile. A bitter lonely insidious individual who's mental instability is getting worse by the day, due to the fact they fail to annoy anyone with their constant sea-lioning and self-contradictory posting. Completely expected every time Tornado Watcher posts on here. As usual, I win the argument by my relentlessly logical and calm, reasoned, factual responses, unlike the hate-filled rants of far-leftist Guardian-reading pillocks like Tornado Watcher.

👍👍👍👍+502

Tornado Watcher replied:
As ever, you offer no reasoned argument for anything, only abuse.

👎-22

Neil Barse replied:
Typical lies and whataboutery from a bitter and twisted leftist Labo*r loser. I think you leftists must be mentally ill to constantly come out with the lies and whataboutery the way you do. And what about Labo*r’s plans to compulsory purchase all UK pensioner’s houses and give them to asylum seekers, eh? Eh? That’s a plan that I’m sure you cretinous, unwashed far-left UK haters would approve of.

👍👍👍+438

Yu Rong replied:
Another leftist loon who refuses to acknowledge the truth. Labour is only talking about assisted dying to cut the NHS bill. They’re already looking to kill off pensioners by cutting fuel allowances and by introducing IHT on farmland they’re now trying to starve the rest of us to death. Niglet the Gargoyle is offering a sensible alterative after years of political failure.

👍+78

Tornado Watcher replied:
Once more and right on cue it’s Neil Barse’s little chum. Perhaps you could explain to me how a party that has no policies, only slogans, can be considered as offering a sensible alterative. As for ‘killing off pensioners’ and ‘starving the rest of us to death’, you need to stop getting your confected outrage from Daily Telegraph editorials and maybe look at some proper and politically unbiased news sources. I know that might take some work but it’s worth the effort.

👎-7

Yu Rong replied:
You are obviously a wet, woke leftie with the intelligence of a bacterium. The Daily Telegraph is a great British institution and a leftist UK-hater such as you would obviously reject its truthful and honest reporting.

👍+34

Neil Barse replied:
Once again, Tornado Watcher fails to understand that this forum is not about rationale debate, it is about WINNING. And our combination of insults, random distraction issues, whataboutery and gaslighting aim to drive any rational observers away, meaning that WE WIN all of the time. You can never win because you are a sad lazy parasitic leftist idiot and are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍+634

Tornado Watcher wrote:
I'd just like to apologise to all of you who read articles and comments. Neil Barse’s tedious and constant abuse of anyone who does not share his world-view must be very boring for everyone. It also clutters up the threads and adds time to attempting to follow any discussions. It is a pity that the MORON doesn’t intervene to (this comment has been edited because it does not meet our community standards – the Editor)

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Yu Rong replied:
Oh you poor thing.
Here's a proposal for you, you stop posting things we don’t like and we’ll stop insulting you.

👍👍👍👍+1029

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
Surely it should be possible to express opinions different to those of you and your chums without attracting insults and hatred?

👎👎👎👎-998

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍👍👍+1024

Super Small Dick wrote:
One of the private schools near me has written to all local sports clubs that hire their sports halls informing them that all sports halls are to be turned into hostels for asylum seekers. Well done Labo*r. What a shambles. Four more years of this turgid drivel. I look forward to voting REFORM.

👍+34

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all parties are corrupt unlike Russian oligarch money which is good for UK, which will be good news for all Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+18