Midway "Sta*mer Out" Petition Gains Over Two Million Signatures

By Our Local Demagoguery Reporter
Simon Goebbels

An on-line petition demanding a new general election has received nearly 2.6 million signatures.

Ms. Bott: "A Scweamer..."

Miss Violet Elizabeth Bott, a young Midway resident, started the petition because she “didn’t like the July genewal election wesult, so I’m going to scweam and scweam until we have another one that gives me a wesult I like…”

“Of course, I appweciate that you can’t we-wun a vote just because some people don’t like the wesult. Otherwise, all those awful wemoaners would have had another Bwexit refewendum and we might have undone our bwilliant Bwexit,” said Ms. Bott. “That would have been terwibble.”

“But this is diffewent. This time Labo*r got elected, so I’m going to scweam and scweam that we need to keep having elections until the Torwies, or even better still, WEFORM get elected. And the Daily Telegwaph agwees with me!”

Niglet the Gargoyle, owner of the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC ©™® and absentee MP for Claptout-On-Sea, also agreed.

Niglet the Gargoyle: Yawn in the USA...

“Under K*ir Sta*mer, this anti-democratic Labo*r government keeps ignoring the clear voice of the people,” he said from his home in North America.

“Since they’ve been in power, Labo*r has targeted the most vulnerable people in UK society. How dare they get rid of hand-outs and tax breaks for multi-millionaire land-owners, big business owners and well-off pensioners? How can that be fair and just? That’s not what people voted for, even though they did.”

“2.6 million signatures, including at least 2.5 million fake ones from the bot-factory users of my good friend Eesgon Nutz’s Xcrement platform, are now supporting the demand that the tyrannical Labour administration stand aside and give everyone in the UK a chance to vote for ME!”

“That’s the only democratic way forward,” said the Gargoyle. “Keep repeating elections until the British public gets it right and my Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs UK Party PLC ©™® gets into power. Then they’ll be no need to ever have elections again…”

K*ir St*rmer and his cabinet do not consider the petition to be of any practical importance, however.

“You lost. Get over it,” said a government spokesman.

“At least you’ll get another vote in five years’ time. Not like the Brexit vote we aren’t allowed to mention…”

Sometimes the expression "WTF?" just doesn't cut it...

 Comments:

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Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
So a petition to abolish democracy in the UK has gained 2.6 million votes? No wonder that Niglet the gargoyle is so happy.

👎-78

Chad Grindr replied:
Your shouty leftism prevents you from seeing that this obviously isn’t a petition to abolish democracy, it’s a petition to abolish this Labour government. It is obviously a petition that the vast majority of the UK electorate's support.

👍+87

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
So what’s the practical difference between abolishing a government that was democratically elected just five months ago, and abolishing democracy? And since when did 2.6 million people comprise the “vast majority of the UK electorate”?

👎-45

Chad Grindr replied:
If you stopped your shouty leftism for a second, you would appreciate that “democracy” is only democracy if it gives the right results. The last election resulted in a Labo*r landslide based on the opinion of only 39% of the electorate. This is clearly not democracy, as anyone who is not a leftist loon would appreciate.

👍+12

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I agree that the FPTP voting system is deeply flawed. Had the last election been conducted under PR, then Labour would still have been the largest party, but would have had to have formed a coalition with the Lib Dems and Greens to keep out a combination of Tories and REFORM. That would have been a fair result.

👎-56

Chad Grindr replied:
WILL YOU JUST STOP SHOUTING YOU LEFTIST IDIOT? It is obvious that any system that prevents a right-wing government from being in power is anti-democratic. Anybody except a demented bed-wetting libtard would realise that.

👍👍+108

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
So democracy is only democracy if it gives a result that you personally agree with? Ah, right. In fact, ah, far-right…

👎-12

Yu Rong replied:
Oooh get you and your tantrums.

👍+34

Neil Barse replied:
Chad do not waste your effort trying to engage these leftist idiots in rational debate. I much prefer insults, random distraction issues, whataboutery and gaslighting. This involves no rational thought whatsoever, which should not be wasted on demented leftists who disagree with us. This will ensure that wishy-washy, woke snowflakes will be driven away, meaning that WE WIN all of the time. Grey Mondeo Man can never win because he is a sad lazy parasitic leftist idiot and is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. I hope he crawls away and dies, libtard snowflake Guardian-reading pillock that he is.

👎👎+237

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all parties are corrupt unlike Russian oligarch money which is good for UK, which will be good news for all Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+18