It’s been a few days since we last ran an advertorial for our favourite Brexity brilliant pub chain Weatherforks - as its owner, Brexit hero and multi-millionaire Sir Martin Timms, has just reminded us. So when we heard about a bunch of old drunks pub-crawling, we though it would be an excellent opportunity to plug every single one of the eight brilliant Weatherforks boozers in Midway…
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| Weatherforks: The Golden Jackboot at Rainingham |
When a group of binge-drinking right-wing pensioners got thrown out of the Golden Jackboot in Rainingham last Saturday morning for being too punchy, sweary and obnoxious even for a Weatherforks pub, then they decided to see what the other brilliant Weatherforks boozers in Midway had to offer.
After reading how a
Friends Sean O’Braincell, Bob Nartsie, Nick Ennithing and Sid Dreadful were there every unsteady step of the way and were even joined by some other fellow clapped-out old fascist thugs as news of their quest spread.
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| Nazi geriatrics: chucked out... |
“Now we believe in free speech an’ all that, but we can’t ‘ave woke leftie nonces in our pub,” Sean explained, “so we started to give ‘im a good kickin’, like,”
“Anyway, he turned aht to be a bit tasty cos’ he kicked Sid inna fork, nutted Bob and laid aht Nick while I ‘id unner the table.”
“So the manager came over to us and said, like, if you old gits can’t ‘andle a woke leftie, then git your sorry arses outta my pub!”
Ejected from the Golden Jackboot, the four brown-shirted neo-Nazi geriatrics decided to use their bus passes to get around Midway’s other Weatherforks venues.
“We knew all Weatherforks are close to bus stops, just to make them easy for old pensioners like us to get to,” explained Bob Nartsie.
“So we got onna bus and went down the road to the Stormtroopers Arms. But it turned out they’d been tipped off about us and wouldn’t let us in.”
It was the same story at The Enoch Powell, The Griffin, The Moseley's Salute, The Jenrick’s Bung and The Robinson's Return.
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| Weatherforks: The Rees-Mogg's Head in Stroochester... |
“Not that we were that bothered,” said Nick. “All Weatherforks pubs are exactly the same anyway. Lots of cheap beer we can soak up with cheap food, lots of sticky carpets and lots of shouty, leery old pensioners just like us!”
Eventually, the four wound up at the Rees-Mogg’s Head in Stroochester.
“Fortunately, they let anyone in,” said Sid Dreadful. “So we all got pissed, started our usual fight, got a good kickin’ and got chucked out just before closin’ time, just like we always do.”
“Another brilliant Saturday, all thanks to brilliant Weatherforks boozers.”
“What other pub chain would put up with shouty, punchy old gits like us?” laughed Sid.
In the real world,
another excuse to “swoon
over ‘spoons” is gleefully embraced, with the regular trolls celebrating
their spiritual home with the usual invective…
Comments:
Please note that we do
not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the
voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.
Chad Grunter wrote:
It is always amusing how some (usually self-entitled dribbling left-wing loons)
start frothing at the mouth and looking down their snooty noses when ever
somebody mentions Weatherforks. They are what they are, with no frills. They
are not pretentious or do they pretend to be anything else than a cheap
watering hole for all, including mainly old working-class fascists and those
that are not inserted up their own behinds :-)
Grey Mondeo Man replied:
The real reason that people with your political views pretend to like
Weatherforks pubs is that the owner is a right-wing millionaire who was a huge
supporter of your precious Brexit. I very much doubt if you or any other of
your chums actually use them regularly, purely on the basis that you appear to
know how to read and write.
Chad Grunter replied:
Then don't visit them then, you shouty, simpering lefty. Nobody is forcing you
go.
Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I don’t “visit then”. So your point is? And I’m not shouting at anyone…
Yu Rong replied:
Oooh get you and your tantrums
Chad Grunter replied:
Will you just STOP SHOUTING YOU DRIVELLING LEFTIST LOON!!!
Neil Barse repiled:
Interesting, Grey
Grey Mondeo Man replied:
Er, what? I didn’t say any of that.
Yu Rong replied:
Oooh get you and your tantrums
Neil Barse replied:
More lies, gaslighting and disinformation from Grey Mondeo
Super Small Dick wrote:
My local Tory councillor tells me that all pensioners are going to be forced to
hug illegal immigrants in order to keep warm this winter. Meanwhile, millions
of Albanian shoplifters are crossing the Channel in small boats every week get
to be housed in luxury hotels at the taxpayer’s expense. What a shambles. Four
more years of this turgid drivel. I look forward to voting REFORM.
Pseudocreem 2
wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next UK elections
because all other UK parties are corrupt Nazi gangster dictatorships who
imprison anyone who criticises them on social media and condemns millions of
old people to death while rest of world watches with horror unlike true
democracy of Russia as led by global champion of freedom dear Mr. Putin and his
rich friends.