Media delight as Gargoyle decides to stand at the forthcoming general election

Niglet the Gargoyle - click-bait gold

Niglet the Gargoyle, owner and sole director of the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs PLC ™©® Party announced today that he will be standing as a candidate for Midway’s Claptout-on-Sea's constituency in the forthcoming general election.

“Having stood for parliament seven times and failed to get elected every time, it is clear that the great British public is crying out for my brand of revolutionary politics”, said the gargoyle earlier today. “And anyway, my massive ego means I just can’t miss out on all the publicity and attention on the BBC that someone like me craves…”

“People are fed up with politicians who say one thing and then do exactly the opposite, like, er, say they’re not standing for election and then say they are. People are tired of the last 14 years of this namby-pamby, woke, snowflake left-wing Conservative government. What they want is a real right-wing leader. Someone who can really demonise the poor, the sick and the desperate. Someone who blames immigrants and foreigners for everything. Someone with no principles, no respect for parliamentary democracy and a massive ego. OK, so we tried all that with Boris Johnson and Liz Truss, but I’m far more of a deranged, incompetent sociopath than those two.”

“Britain is broken. I should know, I broke it with Brexit.”

“Nothing works. I should know, I was an MEP and I didn’t do a day’s work for ten years.”

“So vote Gargoyle for a truly deranged Britain. You know it makes nonsense...”

Kylie Trollhouse - all Labour's fault

“I blame Midway’s Labour Council,” said Kylie Trollhouse, Stroochester’s Conservative MP. “The fact that I’m a member of the most corrupt, inept, cruel and stupid government that Britain had ever had, and one that people are completely fed up with, is entirely Midway’s Labour Council’s fault.”

“And Niglet the Gargoyle is even more rabidly right-wing that I am, so Claptout-On-Sea's Tory, Telegraph-reading pensioners will probably vote for him. I blame Midway’s Labour Council. Waaaaaaah!”

Comments: 

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Gonads wrote:
MORON staffers will love this, now they can easily fill their quota of click-bait comment-generating articles without having to do much work. The green party are also prominent in a neighbouring county and they actually have an MP in parliament, why don't they get a single article or opinion piece. Is it because (this comment has been shortened because we don’t like it – Ed.)

👎-48

Yu Rong wrote:
Personally, I am glad that he is standing. Since Liz Truss was shamefully ejected from office the country's politics has gone so Left wing to the point of utter madness that it needs bringing back to the middle. You need some reasonably far right characters in the mix to get a sensible average. They will have my vote as there is not a chance I would vote for any other party (except perhaps the Tories, of course) at the moment.

👍+675

DailyMailBob wrote:
The country is being overrun, go to Stroochester high street and see the truth it's not imagined it's real and coming to your village soon I honestly don't know why politicians have done it every major Anglo country was relatively peaceful and successful without large scale multiculturalism all it's doing is creating division where none existed before and I know that’s the case because I read it the Daily Mail.

👍+238

Pseudocreem 2 wrote: 

Comrades, do not vote in election because all political parties are same. If no-one vote, Tories will boss again, which good news for all fellow comrades hiding big money in UK and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+26