Gargoyle Visits Toilet...

Niglet the Gargoyle: we can't get enough of him

Niglet the Gargoyle, owner and sole director of the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs PLC ™©®) Party and its candidate for Midway’s Claptout-On-Sea constituency, paid a visit to a lavatory today.

“That’s the best part of him gone,” quipped Tory candidate for the adjacent Stroochester constituency Kylie Trollhouse.

“Thanks to the government of which I am proud to have been a member, the UK’s rivers and seas are now full of turds, which ensures that one more from Niglet will have no effect whatsoever…”

“Vote Tory for Tory turds…”

“I thought it best if Mr. Gargoyle and I parted company,” said the turd, who wished to remain anonymous. “After all, there are some things that are just too foul, too obnoxious and too odious to be surrounded by, even for a turd like me.”

“At last I’m free to join my millions of fellow turds in our seas and rivers, thanks to the Conservative government. I therefore thoroughly endorse Ms. Trollhouse and her re-election campaign.”

“Vote Tory for more turds…”

Niglet the Gargoyle: don'cha just love him?

Mr. Gargoyle soon turned his loss into a political gain, however. 

“Have you noticed how you never see any white dog turds around any more?” he said to Laura Toriesburg during his fifteenth BBC interview today.

“Instead, thanks to 14 years of leftie, woke, remainer Tory government, our British streets and countryside are now covered in brown dog turds.”

“Vote Gargoyle for proper white English dog turds!....”

 

Comments are blocked on this post because we're getting loads of clicks and we don't want loony lefties criticising our hero - Ed.