++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Feeding click-bait to right-wing trolls since 2015. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Friday, August 9, 2024

Media Joy as Labour Councillor Suspended For Hate Speech

Evil Labo*r councillor caught in hate-filled rant. 

It had all gone quiet in UK politics after Snowflake St*rmer seized power last month. We had got used to the past 14 years of the Tories spouting blatant lies and racist xenophobia, stabbing each other in the back, looting the public purse to give taxpayer’s money to their chums, being investigated for bullying or sexual harassment, taking bungs from shady anonymous donors and just being generally obnoxious, cruel and incompetent.

So after weeks of ruling Labo*r politicians being polite, thoughtful and professional, we’re absolutely delighted to report that Sandeep Patel, a Midway Labour Councillor, has been arrested on suspicion of “encouraging murder” after a video of him appeared online calling for the throats of anti-immigration protesters to be cut.

The arrest comes after footage we circulated on social media this morning appeared to show the Midway councillor making inflammatory comments at a counter demonstration.

Videos had emerged on the not-at-all right-wing disinformation platform Xcrement (formerly Twatter) apparently showing the councillor blasting the people who had burned down his father’s shop in Liverpool and had also looted his brother’s store.

His own local store has also twice been wrecked by a drunk driver in past few months. He then goes on to say of the rioters: “I'm tired of constantly being threatened by right-wing thugs. I'm tired of my family and friends living in fear. I'm tired of these thugs vandalising and destroying my families' shops and their livelihoods. We work hard, we pay our taxes and most of the local community get on with us and appreciate us, irrespective of their race or the colour of their skin. These invaders are the illegal immigrants. They don't come from our local community, they just turn up, cause trouble and spread their poisonous hatred. I’ve had it up to here with people who seem to be above the law. They are disgusting, Nazi fascists, and we need to cut all their throats and get rid of them all. …”

Making a motion to his neck during the sentence, the man received cheers from local residents upon finishing his speech at the rally.

Niglet The Gargoyle: Yawn in the USA
After the video emerged (which only showed the last sentence of Mr. Patel's speech)  the owner of the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs ©™® UK party, Niglet the Gargoyle, took to Xcrement from his American hotel, claiming “all Labo*r councillors should be arrested, tried and sentenced to five years inside if a two tier legal system does not exist”.

Tagging in the Midway Police, he repeated: “Labour councillors should all be arrested. If not, we know there is two-tier policing.”

Midway Police tweeted this evening: “Just to stop that bloody gargoyle stirring the shit from his safe US hidey-hole, officers have arrested a man aged in his 50s at an address in Chattingham.”

“He was held on suspicion of encouraging murder and for an offence under the Public Order Act. He is currently in custody at Midway police station, as if we don’t have enough on our plate right now with right-wing thugs lobbing rocks at us, looting shops and trying to burn hotels down.”

“I expect we’ll let him go with a caution once things have calmed down.”

Two-tier policing is a criticism that has been levelled at the police by right-wingers who argue that the police are significantly harsher dealing with right-wing demonstrations than with left-wing demonstrations or ones with a large ethnic minority presence.

Sir Michael Grabber, Chief Constable for Midway, has previously rejected accusations of two-tier policing as “the sort of complete nonsense you’d read in the Daily Mail or on Xcrement”.

“We’ve just had some JustStopOil protesters banged up for five years just for even thinking about causing traffic jams, let alone torching cars and hotels, looting shops and beating up immigrants. So how’s that ‘Two-tier’?”

He said on Wednesday: “We have arseholes from either end of the political spectrum who like to throw accusations of bias at the police because we stand in the middle, we operate independently under the law without fear or favour. The truth is that we hate everybody, equally.”

The video been condemned by the Midway Labour Party.

Labour's Vic Marbles: Apologist for far-left terrorism
A statement from Vic Marbles, Leader of Midway’s Labo*r Council said: “We are aware of a video circulating on social media involving a member of Midway Labour Group.

“The behaviour displayed in the video is completely unacceptable. We can’t have our politicians losing their rag, no matter how much they and their constituents have been provoked by right-wing thugs, because that’s exactly what the UK and international right-wing media and their followers want. The member has now been suspended from the Labour Party.”

“It’s OK for someone like Robert Jenrick, a candidate for leadership of the Tory Party, to go around saying things like “any Muslim who shouts ‘God Is Great’ should be locked up”, because that’s the sort of laughable right-wing dog-whistle shit everybody expects him to say.”

“Our standards have to be higher, otherwise the right-wing media and their credulous followers will be all over us.”

 

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Wankenator 2 wrote:

A Far-Left extremist in a position of power inciting people to "cut all their throats" should surely be treated as a 'terrorist' & feel the full force of the law accordingly. Of course, he hasn't actually hurt anyone or damaged property, but that doesn't matter does it? He's Labour and foreign-looking, so he must be a terrorist. Unless of course we are actually living in a two-tier society. Your move Kier Starmer, the world is watching...

πŸ‘+234

DailyMailBob wrote:

Glad he has been suspended, disgusting man this is a sign that the normal British people have had enough the government don't listen and we are being taken over in this country it's not right what happened to those 3 kids was what broke the straw on the camels back I don't support violence but no one is listening we have be come a do gooder country to the detriment of our own someone has to step up people would say racism etc etc this is a strong word to call people and should not be used lightly these people are not racists they are realistic and this county has gone down the pan since we have had open boarders we are letting in all the old **** and our buildings turned into mosques and our young generation can't wear a cap in a shop because of crime and having to identify a Person but these women are aloud to wear a burka which sometimes covers the whole face except the eyes this I find not acceptable could be anyone under that covering it seems you can rule countries rules by a religious belief is disgusting to me one rule for one one rule for another like the protesters are saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH all I hear all the time is racist and it sickens me most people are not racist we all have friends from all walks of life but some just dont integrate into society and what to live a diff lifestyle to how we live in Great Britain plus what do these people bring to our economy they also bring crime and a diff culture some are aloud to use the word racist but some are not is this right we are used as a country and we need to look after our future generations who live work hard in this country we don't breed like other cultures either they have plus 5 kids a lot of the time no fathers around or lots of diff fathers our culture is shrinking in this country just look at the schools.

πŸ‘+2

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

You right-wingers really struggle with punctuation don’t you? Do you really think anyone could make sense of your rant?

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-905

Neil Barse replied:

You greymondeoman expose yourself every day as the hate filled Far Left anti British antagonist troll. You are definitely condoning this Labo*r MP’s disgusting incitement to murder. You should be made to share a cell with him, as it looks like you both share the same ideology.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+1879

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Er, not sure how you come to those conclusions but when did you far-rightists ever need logic or reason for your beliefs? And the man is a Labo*r councillor by the way, but don’t let facts get in the way of your rant.

πŸ‘Ž-709

Neil Barse replied:

A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+7651

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

It is hard to fathom the stupidity and the levels of hate you have to be carrying in your backpack to do this. Except, of course, if it’s by a Tory politician, in which case they are only expressing the views of the majority of the electorate, who were obviously too stupid, plebian and lazy to vote Tory at the last election. I have no time for Two Tier, Take the Knee St*rmer but he must be pulling his hair out that at a time when he needs the ducks to sit in a line and behave this clown and the racist tweet from Midway's new MP have come along.

πŸ‘+63

AudiDriver88mph wrote:

Labo*r types being Lab*ur types. The left being the left.
When is he being arrested for incitement? They're rushing through everyone else.

πŸ‘+736

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Try reading the report.
“Officers have arrested a man aged in his 50s at an address in Chattingham”.
Rushed through enough for you?

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-816

Yu Rong replied:

How does it go? Oh yes. You far left excuser. In fact far left extremism excuser.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+987

Chad Grindr replied:

These are not riots, they are merely protesters expressing their perfectly justifiable opinions, unlike Mr. Patel’s far-left terrorist chums from Just Stop Oil, who have quite rightly just been jailed for five years for even just threatening to cause mass traffic disruption. Looting shops, assaulting the police or attempting to burn down a hotel full of immigrants and their children all pale into insignificance when compared with the heinous crimes of JSO.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+7651

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all Russian oligarch money is good for UK, which will be good news for all the Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

πŸ‘+12



Police Confront Protesters In Chattingham High Street Riot

Stock photo of police action at night.

Over two hundred riot police descended on Chattingham High Street this evening in order to contain a massive protest that had been planned by groups opposed to incidents of alleged littering by illegal immigrants.

Sid and Elsie Dreadful; mass protesters
These nationwide protests have led to outbreaks of rioting, looting, violence and arson across the country. As a result, Chattingham police reacted swiftly to the presence of a hostile group of angry REFORM-voting pensioners (Sid and Elsie Dreadful) and aging skinheads (Sean O’ Braincell) who had massed outside of the Steaming Turban Indian restaurant in Chattingham High Street.

The protesters shouted the usual three-word slogans for around half-an-hour (“Immigrants Go Home” / “Stop The Boats” / “Get Brexit Done” /. “We Love Nigel” ) until Mr. O’Braincell attempted to lift up a paving stone and throw it through the window of the curry house.

Before police could react, however, Mr. O’ Braincell collapsed, crying another three-word slogan (“Arrrgh Me Back!” / “Arrrgh Me Back!”).

Mr, Geeza Bakander, owner of the Steaming Turban restaurant, rushed out to confront the protester.

Sean O' Braincell; bad back, no neck
“What are you playing at, Mr. Sean?” he shouted. “Your takeaway will only be another 10 minutes?”

“I can’t think what came over him,” said Mr. Bakander later. “Mr. O’ Braincell comes in here at least twice a week for a takeaway. He’s usually a very nice and polite man. I think he needs to stop reading the Daily Mail, he really seems to believe that rubbish these days…”

An ambulance attended, with paramedics Mr. Gurusuwama Anderrawep and Ms. Sumarie Rishamann dealing promptly with Mr. O’ Braincell’s injury.

“Bloody marvellous our Great British NHS is!” said the departing Mr. O’ Braincell. “Won’t ‘ave anyone sayin’ a word against it, or their medics!”

The demonstration came to end when the remaining protesters (Sid and Elsie Dreadful) attempted to charge police lines. This turned out to be due to Mr. Dreadful’s urgent need to find “The Facilities” (“It’s his bladder, plays him up something rotten,” explained Mrs. Dreadful).

Several spectators watched the proceedings with amusement.

Mandy Gormless: wants compensation
“I brought me kids to watch the ol’ codgers and their thicko skin’ead mates have a punch-up wiv the police like wot they did in Liverpool,” said mother-of-six Mandy Gormless (23). “It’s much cheaper than Howlett’s, but this lot were rubbish.”

“We all feel let down, we thought they’d be lobbing rocks at coppers an’ torchin’ a few cars an’ stuff like that, but we got nuffin’.”

“I want compensation….”

“Thanks to prompt action by our forces, a major disturbance was successfully avoided,” a Midway Police spokesman said later.

“In fact, it was a bit boring. We were hoping these old Nazis would put up a bit of a fight but they all seemed a bit clapped-out. We prefer the lefties, they usually have a bit more gumption like that old bird we sorted out a few weeks ago…”

 

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

TruthTwister wrote:

Looks like policing strategy works! Congrats two-tier Keir!

Meanwhile, in other parts of the UK, the lefties are calling for the genocide of Jews, and chanting "free free Palestine". I know that’s true cos I read it on X.

πŸ‘+67

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

That protest is almost cute it is so ineffective. Like primary school children protesting about the amount of skittles in a bag.

I bet the Old Bill couldn't believe their luck when the promised rent-a-mob turned out to 4 Primark vests, 2 pairs of Reebok Classics and a dirty Burberry baseball cap propped up by a badly drawn prison tattoo of Tommy Robinson's dog.

I can assure Mr. Starmer that should he ever attempt to compel rich people such as myself to pay our taxes, the resultant insurrection will be far more effective. And stylish.

πŸ‘+63

Chad Grindr replied:

These are not riots, they are merely protesters expressing their perfectly justifiable opinions, unlike the vile far-leftists from Just Stop Oil, who have quite rightly just been jailed for five years for even just threatening to cause mass traffic disruption.

Destroying property, looting shops, assaulting police officers and attempting to burn down a hotel full of immigrants and their children is of little significance when compared with the heinous crimes of JSO.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+6987

GreyMondeoMan wrote:

It looks like our new Labour Government has handled this attempted right-wing insurrection quite well. I suppose the right-wing press will have to go back to pathetic points-scoring by digging up silly 15-year old tweets by Labour MPs, or by carping on about rash remarks made by Labour councillors in the heat of the moment. 

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-7812

Neil Barse replied:

A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

πŸ‘πŸ‘+765

Yu Rong replied:

Thank you for such a wonderful evening at the Young Conservative’s Club (and afterwards!). Even though your toothbrush moustache was a bit tickly! I’m looking forward to having our baby. But why have you dropped your other user name?

πŸ‘+2

Neil Barse replied:

I never use my real name. That way, there can be no consequences.

πŸ‘+1

Yu Rong replied:

You mean your real name isn’t Neil Barse !?

πŸ‘+1

Neil Barse replied:

Of course not, you silly girl!

πŸ‘+1

Yu Rong replied:

You bastard! You Tories are all the same! You’re just like Boris!!!!

πŸ‘+1

Neil Barse replied:

Yep! And you can pay for your own abortion as well!

πŸ‘+1

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all Russian oligarch money is good for UK, which will be good news for all the Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

πŸ‘+12

 

Thursday, August 8, 2024

Stroochester Labour MP Linked To Environmental Trade Scandal…

An in-depth investigation by the MORON’s political correspondent has unearthed evidence that Skippi Myrtle, Stroochester’s new Labo*r MP, was responsible for a major environmental pollution incident with possible adverse international trade implications.

Skippi Myrtle MP - racist fly-tipper
After weeks of combing through Ms. Myrtle’s old “tweets” our reporter eventually found that in May 2009, Myrtle noted that her “shoulder bag had split and loads of old tissues and a crisp packet blew everywhere. Couldn’t pick it all up as my train was just coming in. Felt really embarrassed. Bloody cheap foreign bag, serves me right for buying shoddy Chinese rubbish…”

When confronted by the MORON, Ms. Myrtle seemed unrepentant.

“Jeez mate, you lot are getting desperate if that’s the worst you can come up with,” she said.

“Christ chum, I was only sixteen back then. OK, maybe I shouldn’t have slagged our Chinese trade colleagues off but blimey, that bag really was a load of old  plastic shite...”

“Now g’day to you cobber, gotta run. I’ve got some benefit cuts for pensioners that Kier wants me to vote though…”

Ex- MP Kylie Trollhouse: "All Labour's Fault..."
Kylie Trollhouse, the former Conservative MP for Stroochester, said she was “shocked & concerned by the views” held by Ms. Myrtle.

“She had no concern airing them publicly when working for a Labour MP, only deleting them after public pressure,” Ms. Trollhouse said on Elon Musk’s totally unbiased X right-wing propaganda site.

“It’s typical of “Two-Tier Kier” to criticise Tory MPs for being corrupt, racist, bullying sex-pests and a bunch of liars and philanderers who are intent on allowing their business chums to milk the tax-payer dry and destroy the UK’s environment.”

“Yet he says nothing when one of his own MPs is found guilty of fly-tipping and casual racism.”

“Skippi Myrtle should resign and the election re-run until the Stroochester constituency finally votes for me again.  Pleeeeeeease….”

We contacted Labour’s press office for a comment, but they just rolled their eyes and laughed at us. You won’t be laughing when the UK’s right-wing national press picks this up and runs with it, will you, you smug leftie bastards.


Absolutely desperate shit from the real-world right-wing press (and its readership) that ignored much worse behaviour from its own pets...

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

The usual extreme left wing crazies here are literally doing a contortionist dance to avoid calling this what is...ableist, racist, vicious, nasty, toxicity...unless of course you are a Labour MP...then it is a youthful, error of judgment...too funny.

πŸ‘+63

Gonads replied:

"Ableist racist". Whoever would have thought that KGPE would turn out to be such a snowflake!

πŸ‘Ž-89

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied:

Do not mock me, little boy. The last person on here to do so paid a high price for the privilege

πŸ‘+63 

GreyMondeoMan replied:

The usual extreme right wing crazies are dancing with joy that an isolated incidence of Labour xenophobia has been unearthed after a decade.

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-786

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied:

So...now it is an 'Isolated Incident.' ? Good to know. Look forward to you using that one when one of the other colour parties get caught in the same way. Dear god you people are something.

πŸ‘+63

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

Well, Two Tier Keir. I await your indignation and swift justice.

πŸ‘+63

GreyMondeoMan replied:

He might be a bit busy at the moment, what with all of your right-wing chums rioting, assaulting police and destroying property at the moment.

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-198

Chad Grindr replied:

These are not riots, they are merely protesters expressing their perfectly justifiable opinions, unlike your vile far-leftist chums from Just Stop Oil, who have quite rightly just been jailed for five years for even just threatening to cause mass traffic disruption. Attempts to burn down a hotel full of immigrants and their children pales into insignificance when compared with the heinous crimes of JSO.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+7651

TheTruthTwister wrote:

I always think online comments and actions show the real character of a person. In one tweet she's managed to offend a whole nation and the Chinese community. Impressive even for an MP, but then she has Two Tier Kier as her boss. She's learning from the best.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+432

GreyMondeoMan replied:

“Offend a whole nation”? Really? Though I expect a mundane tweet from 15 years ago will give the right-wing press something to crow about in the absence of the sort of corruption, racism, bullying, sexual misbehaviour and gaslighting that the previous 14 years of Tory government have entertained us with.

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-198

David Simile the Second replied:

A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+7651

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all Russian oligarch money is good for UK, which will be good news for all the Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

πŸ‘+12

Friday, August 2, 2024

Police Respond to Race Riots In Chattingham Town Centre...

Stock photo of police at night...

Chattingham town centre saw scenes of violent anti-immigration protests last night, following an incident of littering which saw an empty McDonald’s “Happy Meal” bag dropped in Chattingham High Street. 

Sid and Elsie Dreadful: public nuisance
The riots were fuelled by claims circulated by far-right groups that the perpetrator of the littering incident was a Muslim asylum seeker.

The disorder included an attempt to set light to a litter bin outside of the Steaming Turban Indian restaurant and the looting of the Poundland store on Skank Avenue. It has been the largest incident of social unrest in Chattingham in nearly three weeks.

Two people (Sid and Elsie Dreadful) have been charged with public nuisance offences and another (Sean O’Braincell) cautioned.

Sean O'Braincell: a caution

It has since emerged that the disorder was started after online speculation about the identity of the suspected litter bug. 

Misinformation and disinformation, including false claims about the suspect's identity, nationality, religion and immigration status, were circulated on social media by the high-profile far-right account on Xcrement run by Harry Hardnutt (the pseudonym adopted by Tristan Barbie-Smyth, a local far-right activist and serial shoplifter) who founded the now-disbanded English Violent Idiot’s League (EVIL) in 2009.

The claim that the perpetrator of the littering incident was Mboki Nghala, a local resident born in Grott Street, Chattingham, was subsequently proven to be false when CCTV footage identified the culprit to be local mother-of-six Mandy Gormless (23).

Barbie-Smyth: unconcerned
Tristan Barbie-Smyth seemed unconcerned, however. From his parent’s holiday home in Mallorca, he Xcreted “Easy mistake to make, confusing a large white woman with a slim black bloke. But any excuse to incite a bit of shop-lifting, looting and race hatred from the safety of Mummy and Daddy’s Mediterranean hide-away will do, it’s August after all. Not that illegal Muslim immigrant benefit scroungers care about our fine old English traditions of summertime right-wing insurrections, of course…”

“We’re kind of used to it,” said Mr. Nghala, whose family have been forced into hiding by the publicity. “Most people we know around here are really nice, but every time something happens, there are always some who say ‘it’s all the fault of you Muslim illegal immigrants’,” said Mr. Nghala. “We’ve lived here all my life and my family and I all go to the local Anglican church, but it seems that being of African descent makes us ‘illegal Muslim immigrants’ in some people’s eyes. Life’s hard and we just want to get by, you know?” 

“Bloody immigrants, comin’ over ‘ere and droppin’ litter”, said one carefully-selected local resident. “When’s it all gonna end? And wot’s Starmer doin’ abaht it, eh? Eh?....?”

Gargoyle: confused...
Owner of the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs®™© PLC Party and MP for Claptout-On-Sea Niglet the Gargoyle, condemned the police response as “evidence of two-tier policing”.

“It is typical of Ke*r St*rmer’s left-wing Labo*r dictatorship that true English patriots were denied the democratic right to express their legitimate concerns about immigration”, he Xcreted from his US residence.

“The treatment meted out to those brave patriotic protesters, who were given a cup of tea and a biscuit at the police station and then told to go home and stop making a bloody nuisance of themselves, was in stark contrast to the vicious tazering given to a harmless old lady who was protesting about animal rights a few weeks back.”

“It is clear that left-wing protesters are treated far more severely by the police than those from the right……..er………hold on……....er…….…that can’t be right…..…er…….…um……”, burbled a clearly confused gargoyle.

 

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

DailyMailBob wrote:

this is a sign that the normal British people have had enough the government don't listen and we are being taken over in this country it's not right all them immigrants dropping their rubbish everywhere was what broke the straw on the camels back I don't support violence but no one is listening we have be come a do gooder country to the detriment of our own someone has to step up people would say racism etc etc this is a strong word to call people and should not be used lightly these people are not racists they are realistic and this county has gone down the pan since we have had open boarders we are letting in all the old **** and our buildings turned into mosques and our young generation can't wear a cap in a shop because of crime and having to identify a Person but these women are aloud to wear a burka which sometimes covers the whole face except the eyes this I find not acceptable could be anyone under that covering it seems you can rule countries rules by a religious belief is disgusting to me one rule for one one rule for another like the protesters are saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH all I hear all the time is racist and it sickens me most people are not racist we all have friends from all walks of life but some just dont integrate into society and what to live a diff lifestyle to how we live in Great Britain plus what do these people bring to our economy they also bring crime and a diff culture some are aloud to use the word racist but some are not is this right we are used as a country and we need to look after our future generations who live work hard in this country we don't breed like other cultures either they have plus 5 kids a lot of the time no fathers around or lots of diff fathers our culture is shrinking in this country just look at the schools.

πŸ‘+165

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

You right-wingers really struggle with punctuation don’t you? Do you really think anyone could make sense of your rant?

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-905

Neil Barse replied:

You greymondeoman expose yourself every day as the hate filled Far Left anti British antagonist troll. You are definitely condoning this disgusting littering incident that might have been due to illegal immigrants even though it was proved it wasn’t. You Far Left anti British antagonist trolls always want facts rather than feelings and rumour, don’t you.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+1879

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

Yes, you are right. Far right, in fact. As a paid-up wishy-washy Leftie, I always prefer facts and evidence to vague emotional feelings and unverifiable internet rumours. I also try to avoid insults in favour of reasoned debate.

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-709

Neil Barse replied:

A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+7651

Chad Grindr replied:

These were not riots, they were merely protesters expressing their perfectly justifiable opinions, unlike GreyMondeoman’s far-leftist terrorist chums from Just Stop Oil, who have quite rightly just been jailed for five years for even just threatening to cause mass traffic disruption. Looting shops, assaulting the police or attempting to burn down a hotel full of immigrants and their children all pale into insignificance when compared with the heinous crimes of JSO.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+7651

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

So it seems that Take The Knee St*rmer is perfectly prepared to impose his own woke agenda upon anyone who protests about the behaviour of immigrants in this country, even though this incident had nothing to do with the behaviour of immigrants. I look forward to seeing how he reacts when the true ruling classes (to which I belong) rise up and oppose any plans he may have to compel us to pay our share of tax.

πŸ‘+63

AudiDriver88mph wrote:

Welcome to St*rmer’s Britain, where a bit of harmless vandalism, looting and race hatred is treated as some sort of major right-wing insurrection. It’s not like the protesters were doing something really bad, like disrupting traffic and hanging banners from a bridge over the M25, is it?

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+736

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

So vandalism, shop-lifting and threatening innocent people is OK so long as it fits with your politics, is it?

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-816

Yu Rong replied:

How does it go? Oh yes. You far left excuser. In fact, you far left extremism excuser.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+987

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next elections because all Russian oligarch money is good for UK, which will be good news for all the Russian internet trolls and dear Mr. Putin.

πŸ‘+12

 

Saturday, July 20, 2024

Audi Crashes Through Shop Window In Halliton High Street...Again!

Stock photo of Audi crashed through shop window.

For the second time in three months, a high-powered Audi ploughed through the window of the Halliton MiniMart in Halliton High Street yesterday evening, causing an extensive amount of damage to the shop and leading to the closure of the road. 

Police attended the scene and arrested the driver of the vehicle, who was breathalysed and found to have 140 milligrams of alcohol in 100 ml of breath - four times the legal limit.  

The driver turned out to be same man who was responsible for the previous incident and was taken into custody. He had earlier been ejected from a nearby pub for unruly behaviour.

Owner Sandeep Patel said "I've only just got the shop fully up and running after the last crash. I recognised the driver from the last time and I can't believe he's done it again. He was fighting mad, shouting and swearing, and wasn't wearing any trousers or underpants. Fortunately the police turned up quite quickly and took him into custody."

"We've got the window boarded up and hopefully we'll be able to open up again soon."

The road has since reopened.

“A man was arrested after a shop in Halliton High Street was struck and damaged by a vehicle last night,” a police spokesman said later. “The driver subsequently received a formal caution from our Chief Constable, who warned him that any further such behaviour may lead to a final warning and subsequent disciplinary proceedings at their Masonic lodge. He was then released without charge.”

“We trust that the prompt action taken by Midway’s police officers will serve as a deterrent to all drink-drivers,” the Midway police spokesman continued, “unless, of course, you have all of the right connections in which case, it’s ‘Get Out Of Jail Free”…”

"Not that we can send anyone to jail any more, because they are all full...."

 

Comments: 

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Grey Mondeo Man wrote:

So yet again, the one-man drunken crime-wave that is Undercover Imbiber gets away with (this comment has been edited for brevity - Ed.)

πŸ‘Ž-197

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied:

You silly boy. The sooner you grow up and learn that “privilege” means exactly that, the happier your betters will be.

πŸ‘+63

David Simile the Second replied:

A typically stupid comment from GreyMondeoMan, a typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

πŸ‘+234

Friday, July 19, 2024

The Undercover Imbiber Reviews the Traveller’s Rest at Halliton...

Stock photo of pub

Having previously visited the dreary little riverside conurbation of Halliton, I was surprised to learn that this rather mundane village was graced by not just one, but two public houses.

Having been less than impressed with one of the local hostelries, I thought I would find out if the plebeian hamlet of Halliton could redeem itself by having an alternative venue that could offer a standard of public hospitality that would satisfy a noted epicurean such as myself.

Stock photo of pub bar...
The Traveller’s Rest itself is situated on the end of a row of rather common, working-class terraced houses that are situated right on what passes for Halliton’s main road. Normally I would not wish to be associated with such dΓ©classΓ© surroundings, of course. I also noted with some displeasure that the pub was a “tied house” belonging to the Nepo Scheame chain. As is well-known, this former Kentish brewery now specialises in property development and is engaged in a programme of shutting down and selling off even their most profitable pubs in order to satisfy the needs of their venture capitalist shareholders – as is right and proper, of course.

I am no fan of Nepo Scheme’s beer either, but this did not stop me walking up to the bar and ordering a pint of their standard poison, Badenoch’s Gaslighter. As usual, I explained to the relentlessly cheerful and pretty barmaid that I was the MORON’s pub reviewer and Kent’s leading bon vivant, and that a few free pints would go a long way to ensuring a favourable write-up. Despite this, the ugly harridan merely laughed and pointed to one of the many jokey signs behind that bar, specifically the one that said “Please Do Not Ask For Credit As A Punch In The Face Often Offends”. This rejection prompted much laughter from the educationally sub-normal denizens that obviously passed for clientele in the establishment and so, pint in hand, I left the bar to sit at a table.

Now that it was established that I had to pay for it, the beer turned out to be just as stale, bitter and unpalatable as I remembered it, but then at only £4.50 a pint it was at least as cheap as it was nasty. Nevertheless, after six pints, both pub and beer began to grow on me. Indeed, the pub furniture and carpets were spotlessly clean, even if it all looked like something from the 1980’s set of the Rover’s Return.

Stock photo of pints of beer
Returning to the bar for another pint I began to feel decidedly peckish, so I asked to see the pub’s menu. Once again, the barmaid refused my not unreasonable request with the reply of “Sorry, we don’t serve food here, love”, the flimsiest of excuses if ever I heard one. This rejection prompted yet more amusement from the Neanderthals at the bar, with one of them cheerily suggesting that “if I wanted to read, I should go to a library”, to much ribald laughter from his ape-like companions.

Looking around at the shorts and t-shirt wearing brigade of burly “locals”, I thought I would therefore engage them with some jolly banter of my own.

“So would any of you miserable, unemployable cretins actually know where the local library is?” I ventured with a cheerful grin, before draining my pint.

“It’s just down the road, next door to the office of my quantity surveying practice,” replied one of them. “I’ve only just returned their copy of Plato’s Republic, so if you run, you might be able to borrow it yourself so that you can learn a bit about the art of public discourse…”

I decided that these braying idiots were not worthy of my witty repartee and so, with another pint and a packet of crisps in hand, I returned to my table. Sitting opposite me, a surly gentleman was ignoring his numbskull compatriots, instead gazing intently at the Times crossword. After finishing my pint, I returned to the bar for another, looking over the crossword aficionado’s shoulder as I did so.

“Eight Across, ‘Criminal Going Down Is Rather Smug’, thirteen letters. I think you’ll find that’s ‘Condescending’”, I triumphantly announced to him as I returned to my table, pint in hand.

“Just like you, arsehole,” said the ungrateful oaf, slamming his paper down on the table and walking away.

Stock photo of pub toilets...
It was clear that this miserable hostelry was far from hospitable and so after another pint or three, I decided to “review the facilities”. These were clean and fresh, at least until I unfortunately suffered a “Biological Disorder” as I was relieving myself. This was undoubtedly due to the foul nature of the beer I had consumed, which merely confirmed my low opinion of Nepo Scheame pubs and their horrid ales in general. Undeterred, I removed my soiled trousers and underwear and returned to the bar.

“Excuse me, you couldn’t gave these a bit of rinse for me, could you?” I inquired of the barmaid, waving my admittedly somewhat odious accoutrements in order to attract her attention.

Yet once again, my perfectly reasonable request met with a firm and this time, angry refusal. Not only that, but I was then bundled out into the car park by several of the local gorillas and told to “sling my hook”, along with various other epithets that I could not possibly repeat here.

Once more regretting ever going into a Nepo Scheame pub, I went into the local shop at the end of the main road to get something to eat. Unfortunately, I was seated behind the wheel of my Audi at the time.

And as if just to emphasise the backward, hostile nature of Halliton as a whole, all the ungrateful shopkeeper could say was “not you again…”

So in summary, my considered opinion of the Traveller’s Rest at Halliton is as follows…

Decor: ***      Clean, but rather old-fashioned.

Food: *           Food was not served so a packet of expensive crisps (£1.50!!!) had to do.

Drink: *           Utterly awful, causing me to suffer a violent allergic reaction after a mere ten pints.

Price: *           The surly ungrateful barmaid expected me to pay for my drinks despite my offer of a favourable write-up. This is completely unacceptable to a top-class reviewer such as me.

Staff: *             Lazy and unhelpful. Refused to clean my slightly soiled trousers even though that was a result of their awful beer.

Toilets: *         Disgusting. Looked like a ghastly drunk had soiled himself on the floor.

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Grey Mondeo Man wrote: 

Yet more completely pointless drivel from U.I. Doesn’t like Nepo Scheame beer, so he goes to a Nepo Scheame pub, drinks a gallon of Nepo Scheame beer, gets rat-arsed, humiliates himself and then blames the pub as usual. How on earth does this make for a review of (this comment has been edited for brevity. Ed.)

πŸ‘Ž-3000

Uncover Imbiber replied: 

As you can see from both the reaction to your intemperate comment and the favourable and completely independent responses from my admirers below, your opinion is very much in the minority. If do not like my output, please feel free to pass it by!

πŸ‘+3000

Art. E. Fishall wrote: 

I think these reviews are excellent and very funny.

πŸ‘+400

Clint Elligence wrote: 

I think these reviews are excellent and very funny.

πŸ‘+400

A Staffer wrote: 

I think these reviews are excellent and very funny.

πŸ‘+400

Mrs U.I. wrote: 

U barsted u left me at home but u shit yor pants serves u right har har yor my bes mate u are I luv you bruv hic

πŸ‘+187

 

Friday, July 5, 2024

Pauline On Politics: The General Election Result...

Our political correspondent, Pauline Popkins, gives her in-depth analysis of the result of the general election and Labour’s landslide victory…. 


ARRRRRRRRGHHH!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! LEFTIST BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!! HATE! HATE!! HATE!!!
  Thanks to the relentless, biased, divisive hatred and distortion peddled by left –wing socialist newspapers like the Times and the Sun, it’s STARMERGEDDON!!!!!

Already, the country is being OVERRUN by billions of BOAT PEOPLE, now that St*rmer and his gang of ultra-left-wing communist tofu-eating wokerati have OPENED THE FLOODGATES and issued open invitations to all ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS everywhere. Everyone else in the UK will now be TAXED AT 100% to pay for luxury lifestyles for BENEFIT SCROUNGERS while hard-working BRITISH PEOPLE STARVE!!!!!.

The LOONY SOCIALIST ANTI-GROWTH COALITION led by LEFT-WING HEDGE FUND MANAGERS, COMMUNIST BANKERS, LEFTIE LAWYERS and DEEP-STATE WOKE CIVIL SERVANTS will now deliberately DESTROY THE UK’S ECOMONY in order to bring about a SOCIALIST UTOPIA!!! …….earthquakes ……. plagues of locusts ……rains of blood ……….. the Four Horseman …….. the Kraken rises............ the seas boil......... ANGELA RAYNER ………… ARRRRRRRRRGHHH!!!! ……. HATE! HATE!! HATE!!! 

And all because the Tory vote was split by people voting for REFORM and their rabid brand of divisive, anti-European, ultra-free-market dogma and general xenophobia…….. er ……... just the same as what I believe in………….er………..ARRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!......... Labo*r landslide……….  IT’S ALL MY FAULT…….. …NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

There’s only one answer to all this. I NEED TO SEND MYSELF TO RWANDA!!!!! It’s the only language that clapped-out loopy fascists like me understand!!!!!!!!   EXCEPT THAT I CAN’T!!!! ……… BECAUSE THAT STOP RINGING THOSE BELLS STOP RINGING THOSE BELLS NAMBY-PAMBY WOKE SNOWFLAKE ST*RMER HAS ALREADY SCRAPPED THE RWANDA DEPORTATION SCHEME!!!!!!!

Gibber gibber meep meep bleep whirrr I’M VERY GOOD AT INTEGRAL AND DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS I KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC NAMES OF BEINGS ANIMICULOUS bibble babble bobble IN SHORT OF MATTERS VEGETABLE AND ANIMAL AND MINERAL I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR-GENERALLLLOOOOH MY GOD my brain’s exploded!!!!

 

Comments: 

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

David Simile the Second wrote:

Another clear-sighted and brilliant summary of the quite frankly questionable victory of wet, woke socialism over common-sense right-wing culture wars and dogma. This election was clearly stolen by the communist Deep State and its woke, far-left, anti-UK agenda, in much the same way as Mr. Trump was ousted in America.

πŸ‘+157

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

Now that the lunatics have taken over the asylum and true, ultra-wealthy patriots such as I are no longer respected, I shall be moving my UK business to the Far East and firing all of my British employees, as any rich British businessman who loves his country should do. I have no doubt that I would otherwise be expected to pay decent working wages to work-shy British people and to provide safe and fair working conditions for them. The little yellow and brown people working in my sweat-shops in Asia do not demand such things and indeed, would be severely punished if they did. With Labo*r in charge, the UK will never be able to compete with the “Tiger Economies”.  And as for expecting super-rich people such as me to pay a “wealth tax” to subsidise work-shy scroungers and lazy illegal immigrants, this is the path to madness. The UK is doomed.

πŸ‘+63

Chad Grindr wrote:

Leftist loons in charge ….wibble wibble….tofi-eating wokerati….HATE HATE…tears on my Daily Telegraph…. OOOOH MY GOD my brain’s exploded!!!!

πŸ‘+26

GreyMondeoMan replied:

Get over it Chad, you lost. It’s the Will of the People…

πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž-9253

Chad Grindr replied:

Based on the number of votes cast, the government should now comprise of a Tory/Reform/LibDem coalition. That’s “the voice of the people”, or at least the voice of anyone who isn’t a gibbering left-wing loon. With Labour achieving such a marginal result, the country is crying out for another election under a PR system to clarify matters, just like we didn’t for Brexit. How can Starmer claim a mandate for his socialist lunacy when he only holds a slender 291 seat majority based on 39% of the vote? We are now living in a socialist dictatorship.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘+6576

Boring Welsh Tory wrote:

In Wales, the number of votes cast strongly suggests that people want a Conservative / REFORM coalition. Labour only polled 487,636 votes and got 27 seats, whereas the combined REFORM/Tory vote was 463,021 yet they didn’t get any seats at all. Of course, I have ignored other data as it doesn’t fit my argument, just like I always do. It is therefore clear that Wales is crying out for a change from FPTP to PR, or whatever it takes to guarantee a Tory win.

πŸ‘+1

Gonads replied:

Does anyone in Midway really give a flying fuch about Wales? Thought not….

πŸ‘+162

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, dear Mr Putin says to support REFORM UK for all Russian oligarchs hiding money in UK and to remember this at next election.

πŸ‘+26