It’s been nearly two weeks since we last ran a story about our favourite right-wing gargoyle, so to celebrate the New Year and get 2025 off to a proper far-right start…
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| Rainingham Valley as it is now: Bought by a gargoyle... |
Niglet the gargoyle has been given the green light to knock down a “tired” farmhouse in Rainginham and replace it with a swanky multi-storey new-build.
The owner of the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC™©® and MP for the Midway constituency of Claptout-On-Sea revealed plans for a swanky mansion, complete with a swanky private airfield and swanky helipad at Brimstone Farm in Rainingham Valley, earlier this year.
And his swanky scheme has now been green-lit by planning officers at Midway Borough Council (MBC) after no objections were raised by terrified neighbours.
The gargoyle told the
The 700-year-old piece of ugly church architecture said this week how it is “pleased” that the swanky scheme has been approved.
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| Niglet the gargoyle: Grand designs... |
The current farmhouse boasts views across the Rainingham Valley, which is classified as an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty and is one of Midway’s last remaining section of Green-Belt land, and was bought in March last year for an undisclosed sum.
Documents submitted to MBC by the gargoyle’s company, Pain in the Arse UK Domination Ltd, show the farmhouse will be demolished and replaced with the swanky new build.
Its replacement property will still include three bedrooms but will become a swanky sixteen-storey black tower including a swanky master global satellite communications hub and en-suite in the roof space, complete with a smoking volcano annex and all surrounded by impregnable walls.
The swanky ground floor will include a pit for the breeding of a race of killer orcs from the germ-plasm of the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC™©® MP Lee Anderthal, and space for twelve winged flying dragons to transport Black Riders from the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC™©® around the UK, spreading the word about how shit Ke*r St*rmer’s Labo*r government is, why the Tories are a joke and why everyone should Vote Gargoyle.
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| Rainingham Valley. What it will look like with the gargoyle's new home... |
It will also feature a swanky sunken dungeon for the imprisonment of anyone the gargoyle doesn’t like once it gets elected as UK prime minister in 2029, and a swanky balcony on the swanky first floor overlooking a swanky new 10 acre courtyard lit by flaming torches, where the gargoyle hopes to hold Nuremburg-style rallies as part of its 2029 election campaign.
The property is to be called "The Jerkhoff".
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| Intrusive soft-porn ads, just for you...! |
The gargoyle stood for the
constituency of
In 2005 it famously came last, just behind a loony dressed as a dolphin, but in 2015, educational standards of the local electorate had dropped to the extent that it came second to Tory Kylie Trollhouse.
The famous far-right gargoyle
was carved in 1356 as part of the building of the lost medieval
Local legend has it that the church was struck by lightning soon after its completion as a result of being cursed by the Mad Nun of Uttlesford, Kemikhazi The Demented, which imbued the gargoyle with the demonic yet risible life-force that it still possesses today.
In the real world, yet another click-bait non-story about their favourite right-wing politician.
Happy New Year, folks…
Comments:
Please note that we do
not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the
voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.
Grey Mondeo Man
wrote:
Is it just me or does the
👎👎👎👎👎👎-1000
Yu Rong replied:
Ooooh get you and your tantrums.
👍+213
Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist
La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic
leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort
of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die,
you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.
👍+287
Chad Grindr
wrote:
Lol, you can't beat a story about Our Gargoyle to get the
hate-filled lefties frothing at the mouth and venting their spleens. Perhaps he should let Ke*r St*rmer stay in the house for free occasionally? We
all know how free gear K*ir likes a freebie.
👍+167
Gonads replied:
I can’t say I’m all that bothered by
the private life of the gargoyle. However, when you talk about Ke*r St*rmer’s
propensity for ‘freebies”, why not also mention the gargoyle’s free
US plane tickets and shady
political funding? And have you bought
any gold off of him yet? No wonder he
doesn’t have time to do any constituency work…
👎-132
Yu Rong replied:
Ooooh get you and your tantrums.
👍+213
Chad Grindr replied:
Lol, for an easily-triggered
frothy hate-filled lefty please see spleen-venting rant above ;-)
👍+178
Neil Barse replied:
Typical lies and whataboutery from the bitter and twisted leftist Labo*r loser
that is Gonads. I think you far-left socialists must be mentally ill to
constantly come out with the lies and whataboutery the way you do. And what
about Labo*r’s plans to double VAT and increase income tax to 50% eh? Eh?
That’s a plan that I’m sure you woke, hate-filled far-left St*rmer worshippers
would approve of.
👍👍👍+1024
Chad Grindr wrote:
Even though it is for a good cause, the approval of this scheme is ecological
vandalism on a massive scale as a result of unsustainable levels of mass
immigration that this Labo*r government is solely to blame for. Labo*r may not
have told the electorate about withdrawing winter fuel allowance for many
pensioners, changes to the IHT rules, increasing student tuition fees and taxes
for working people plus letting criminals out of the prisons early etc but they
did say that they would ignore local concerns and build on the precious green
belt.
Wake up quick people, because once this land where we grow some of our food and
all the wildlife it supports is gone, it is almost certainly gone forever!
👍+98
Phil Thementallyill replied:
I agree that these plans to destroy Midway’s last piece of Green Belt are simply
awful
👍+322
Tornado Watcher replied:
“…Now we will all be forced to become hunter-gatherers thanks to Labo*r’s
economic mismanagement. You couldn’t make it up…”
But you did.
Well done.
👎-67
Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist
La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is Tornado Watcher. Like all lazy parasitic
leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort
of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die,
you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.
👍+287
Chad Grindr wrote:
This Labo*r government is solely to blame for the record
number of deaths in the channel as well. Labo*r too busy smashing the economy
and tax payers rather than any criminal gangs!
👍+167
Yu Rong replied:
Not surprised given the figure is
up over 200% on the same period last year, when the
👍+98
SuperSmallDick wrote:
My local Tory councillor told me that Labo*r are planning to increase IHT to
50% on any properties worth over £50 so that they can fund luxury housing
developments for asylum seekers. Meanwhile, another 800,000 Albanian
shoplifters crossed the channel in small boats last week and are being housed
in luxury hotels while all of our pensioners freeze to death and our farmers
are reduced to living in tents as a result of being evicted from their land
because they cannot afford to pay their IHT bills. Four more years of Starmer’s
communist dictatorship, then I can vote REFORM.
👍+213
Pseudocreem 2
wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in next elections because
all other political
👍+18