The Gargoyle Party On Course To Win Next General Election - PollCat

The Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® is on course to win the next general election, according to current polling trends.

Far-right poll says: "Gargoyle For PM!!!..."

The party, a private company owned by Niglet the Gargoyle, MP for the Midway constituency of Claptout-On-Sea and currently funded by multi-millionaire Tricke Dice, could take all five of Midway’s seats when the country goes to the polls in 2029, say pollsters at PollCat.

PollCat, which takes trends and data from Easgon Nutz’s social media and far-right chat group Xcrement, shows a dramatic reversal in fortunes for both Labo*r and the Conservatives.

The Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® made waves last month by returning councillors to Midway Borough Council after the incumbents were hounded out by social media death threats and abuse.

Jim Maidupp-Naim, a 68-year-old Glaswegian, would have to defend his seat in six-months’ time at the MBC poll next year. He intends to stand again in Chattingham North at the next general election.

All eyes will be on those results as a sign of how much traction the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® can get, and rest assured that the MORON is hoping to puff up even the slightest or most insignificant result that Niglet the Gargoyle’s party can achieve.

Ignoring that fact that the 2029 election is four years way, PollCat predicts Labo*r would be reduced from 412 seats to 10, the Conservatives up from 121 to 200, the Liberal Democrats 72 to none whatsoever, and the Green Party to stay on four, with the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® sweeping to a landslide victory with a whopping 430 seats.

Easgon Nutz: "Making plans for Gargoyle..."

PollCat chief executive Easgon Nutz said: “The people of the UK are in a state of mass insurrection against the Labo*r government, given their judicial murder of millions of UK pensioners, the eviction of farmers from their homes and the instant imprisonment without trial of anyone posting anything negative about St*rmer’s Stazi on Xcrement.”

“That’s what people are posting on Xcrement, anyway, so it must be true. You could say the mid-term blues have come early for the evil Nazi dictatorship of Sir K*ir St*rmer.”

Nutz said that the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® is now seen as not only a place for a protest vote but also as a serious entity.

He added: “As for the Conservative Party, the new leader Kemikhazi Badenough came in about a month ago but her policies are far too left-wing for us here at Xcrement.”

“That’s why I’m planning to give $100 million to the ugly little Euro guy who hangs around Donald Trump’s butt all of the time and owns the madass Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® over there in Englandland.... y’know…. Norman, or whatever he’s called…”

Mr. Tricke Dice, chairman of the Society of Millionaires for the Election of Extreme Right-wingers (SMEER) wrote on Xcrement: “Our members own all of the UK’s shrieking right-wing newspapers and media channels, which now have a virtual monopoly on the information that’s fed to the general UK population. They’ve been throwing shit at K*ir St*rmer and the new Labo*r government from day one and it’s already paying off.”

Tricke Dice: "Who needs policies?..." 

“Our SMEER campaign ensures that anything the government does is shouted down in a completely negative fashion and also depicts the Tories as a busted flush. We're pitching the Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® as the only alternative, even though they don’t actually have any policies.”

“But who needs policies when you can just shout ‘NO!!!’ all of the time and blame immigrants for everything?”

“And an £80 million donation from Easgon Nutz should help them shout even louder!”

“We saw that with the Brexit referendum, where the credulous were easily swayed by snappy slogans and empty promises of a bright new future, all bankrolled by shady multi-millionaires...”

“We’ve every confidence of being able to repeat the same trick again, so that The Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® can sweep to power and remain there for a thousand years. Or at least until that nice Mr. Putin takes over…”

For more Gargoyle Party propaganda, hear the new Really Extreme Far-Out Rightwing Maniacs Party UK PLC^©™® Councillor Jim Maidupp-Naim on the Midway Politics Plodcast. 

In the real world, they really just can’t get enough of Nigel…

Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy. 

Chad Grindr wrote:
This terrible Labo*r government has already left Britain completely broken. 
From 1997 to 2010, Labour’s Tony Bl*ir and Gordon Bro*n run this country into the ground. Now, in 2024, K*ir St*rmer is looking to bury it completely.
All of you who voted for these leftist loons should hang your heads in shame.
Only the Gargoyle Party can save us.

👍👍👍👍+1324

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
You seem to have missed out the intervening 14 years of Tory government, which gave us “austerity”, Brexit and Liz Truss, all of which damaged the UK’s economy far more than Blair or Brown ever did. And as for Gargoyle fixing things? Oh, please…

👎👎👎-908

Neil Barse replied:
A typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is GreyMondeoMan. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock. 

👍👍+1298

Yu Rong replied:
Oooh get you and your tantrums

👍+76

Chad Grindr replied:
WHY DO YOU LEFTIST LOONS NEED TO SHOUT ALL OF THE TIME? SHOUTY SHOUTY SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT that’s all you stupid bed-wetting lefties ever do.

👍👍+145

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I’m not shouting at anyone…

👎👎-143

Chad Grindr replied:
MORE SHOUTY LIES FROM THE MORON’S PREMIER FAR-LEFT IDIOT! WHY DON’T YOU JUST STOP SHOUTING! NO-ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR BED-WETTING WOKISH DRIVEL ANYWAY!

👍+78

Super Small Dick wrote:
My local Tory councillor tells me that everyone in the UK is going to have to pay the ULEZ, even if they don’t have a car. Meanwhile, millions of illegal immigrants crossing the Channel in small boats every week get to be housed in luxury hotels at the taxpayer’s expense. What a shambles. Four more years of this turgid drivel. I look forward to voting REFORM.

👍👍+378

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, dear Mr. Putin says for you to vote REFORM in the next UK elections because all other UK parties are corrupt Nazi gangster dictatorships who imprison anyone who criticises them on social media and condemns millions of old people to death while rest of world watches with horror unlike true democracy of Russia as led by global champion of freedom dear Mr. Putin and his rich friends.

👍+18