 |
| Stock photo of blokes playing football |
Dukla Farmingham 10 : Chattingham FC 0
Acrobat
(o.g. 3, o.g. 41, o.g. 78), Sent Off: Tagliatelli, Linguini (79)
Gnats
(5), Todger (34),
Crump
(42, 43, 65), Sprunt (71, 80)
The sporting pride of Midway, Chattingham FC, remain rooted
to the bottom of the North Kent Relegation League after an ten-goal thrashing
by rampant promotion hopefuls Dukla Farmingham.
Manager Doug Outt, 59, remained tight-lipped in the face of this latest
set-back, which leaves him still winless since he came to the club at the start
of the season last year.
“We started well, fought hard and were very competitive throughout the match,” said an ashen-faced Chattingham manager Doug Outt, “but letting in ten goals undermined what was otherwise a very encouraging performance.”
Chattingham’s in-form Congolonian striker Adobe Acrobat promptly opened the
scoring with a superb volley that left his own keeper stranded, thereby adding
another own-goal to his impressive tally of 19 this season.
 |
| Chats manager Doug Outte (59): Ashen-faced |
Farmingham striker Jim Gnats nipped in with an opportunistic strike whilst Chattingham’s defender were busy giving their errant striker a good kicking after his first own goal, with defender Bob Todger adding a third to Farmingham’s tally from a throw-in.
Further goals from Farmingham’s mid-fielder Tommy Crump extended his side’s lead with two short-range tap-ins made whilst Chattingham defenders were busy pummelling a hapless Acrobat after his second own goal of the match, a well-struck back pass that blind-sided his own goalie just before half-time.
Nursing a first-half deficit of six goals, Chattingham came out with a defensive intent, adopting an eight-one-one formation and hoofing the ball up the field to lone striker Acrobat whenever they could, in the hope of keeping him away from their own goal.
Despite a congested goalmouth, the home side’s Tommy Crump completed his hat-trick with a weak shot that nevertheless gently rolled into the goal between the legs of Chattingham’s hapless Swedish keeper, Olaf Smegs.
Ziggy Sprunt added a seventh for the home team, before Chattingham’s Acrobat completed his own-goal hat trick late in the second half with a perfectly timed run around three of his own defenders before calmly stroking the ball into the back of his own net.
 |
| Chats crowd (Sid and Elsie Dreadful) |
During the uproar, Chattingham’s Italian mid-fielders Diego Tagliatelli and Julio Linguini were both red-carded. On the re-start, Farmingham’s Ziggy Sprunt cheekily added his second and his side’s tenth goal whilst Chattingham, now reduced to nine men, were still chasing their hapless striker Adobe Acrobat around the pitch.
“I thought we lost a bit of discipline after we conceded our ninth goal”, admitted rueful Chattingham manager Doug Outte (59) after the game, “but I was nevertheless impressed with the running and pace of our midfield. The young lad Acrobat was lucky to get away from them after his third own goal…”
“Still, at least we got something from the game,” added a grim-faced Doug Outte (59). “Our Slovomanian defender Slobodon Miovakoat sneaked off of the subs’ bench after half-time, went through home’s side changing room and cloned a few of their player’s bank cards. That’ll pay the wages this week…”
Comments:
Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.
Judge Dreadful wrote:
Gutted. Sick as a parrot. We were all over them, except for the ten goals we conceded. Never mind, next week will be different. Post-match kebab was the highlight of the day. C’mon lads, up the Chats! COYC!!
Dullman wrote:
Outte Out!