The MORON Reviews The Hedgefunder's Arms in Buxley

Situated in rural Buxley on the outskirts of Chattingham, the upmarket Hedgefunder's Arms has recently been awarded a Michelin Star in line with its already excellent reputation. We contacted them with the hope of scrounging some money or a few freebies in return for a favourable review, but they just laughed at us and told us to clear off.

We're not taking that from a bunch of swanky DFL's, so we sent our top restaurant review team out to the Hedgefunder's Arms to conduct a completely honest and balanced review.

By our correspondents:

Art. E. Fishall

and

Clint Elligence

The Hedgefunder's Arms

The restaurant was not very clean.

The restaurant was not very well decorated.

The staff were not helpful or friendly.

The menu did not offer a wide variety of dishes.

The starter did not arrive promptly and was not very tasty.

The main meal did not arrive promptly and was not very tasty.

The dessert did not arrive promptly and was not very tasty.

The toilets were not very clean.

The bill did not arrive promptly and was not very reasonable.

This is not a nice restaurant.

The food is not very good and is not reasonably priced.

We would not recommend it to anyone.


Comments:

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.


Annabelle Upwoodly-Mowbyle wrote:

Your editor rang us up and threatened us with a bad review if we didn’t give him a free meal, but we really don’t care what your shitty little rag thinks as we are fully booked for the next six months and (this comment has been edited for reason of brevity - Ed.)

👎👎👎👎-1000

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

It seems like an utterly ghastly place according to this review. I shall not be patronising it as a result. Obviously a Michelin Star counts for very little.

👍+63

Annabelle Upwoodly-Mowbyle replied: 

You seem like an utterly ghastly person judging by your usual comments on here. I am delighted that you won’t be visiting us, especially if you believe anything you read in the MORON.

👎👎-1000

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied:

I shall be having a word with my local Freemason’s Lodge about your attitude. It sounds like you need to learn who your betters are. You do not want to make an enemy of me and my well-connected friends, young lady.

👍+57

Annabelle Upwoodly-Mowbyle replied: 

A threat from a member of the funny handshake brigade really doesn’t scare me, Mr. Prick.

👎👎-1000

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied:

Old pubs like yours are very prone to burning down, young lady. Just an observation.

👍+206 

Grey Mondeo Man wrote: 

It looks like the MORON tried to scrounge a few freebies as usual, and got short thrift. The AI software is still excruciatingly pathetic as well.

👎-291

David Simile the Second replied: 

A typically stupid reply from a typically stupid remoaning socialist La**ur-supporting woke snowflake. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you K**r St**mer-loving, La**urite bum-boy.

👍+163