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Monday, April 1, 2024

The MORON To Become A Serious Local News Site.

Sir Paul Mental: MORON supremo
MORON boss Sir Paul Mental today announced that the Midway Online Review Of News was planning to change its editorial approach. 

“At the moment, the MORON’s editorial stance is designed to reflect the values of our core readership,” said Sir Paul, “which consists of xenophobic, racist pensioners, rabid right-wing conspiracy theorists, shit-thick Brexit voters who still reckon that Brexit was a good idea and well-off, smug Tory freemason types who are too stupid or lazy to get their opinions from anywhere else,” he explained. 

“Our old staples of advertorials for chain stores, big pubcos and national junk food outlets, click-bait that gives publicity to Tory distraction issues like the ULEZ, "Immigrants" and culture wars, along with generic reviews of local fast-food restaurants and pubs owned by our paid subscribers, are all looking a bit out-of-date given the current mood of the country,” Sir Paul added. 

“We at the MORON are therefore looking to hire some decent journalists, stop parroting the culture wars rubbish and other disinformation put out by Conservative head office, and look to report some actual local news.” 

The readership is reported to be unhappy with these changes. 

“I want hate, culture wars and Lab**r- bashing,” said regular reader David Simile, “not this woke, truthful rubbish. Like all Tory pensioners, I want news that just confirms what I already believe, not factual reporting.” 

“Ha, ha,” replied Sir Paul. “April Fool!” 

“Don’t worry, it’ll still be right-wing bollocks and local, low-quality trivia as usual here at the MORON


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