Protestors march over 5,000-homes plan near Stroochester

Stock photo of protest

More than a hundred protestors gathered to criticise plans for a 5,000-home “new luxury apartment development” which they believe will “destroy” green belt AONB land by the River Midway close to Stroochester.

Midway is currently consulting residents about the plans, which are being imposed upon it by the Department for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities, as a new Local Plan was never approved during the previous council administration due to an established Tory policy of “kicking the can down the road.”

Midway’s Lab**r Council has now been told that it must build more than 90,000 homes in the next five years.

On Saturday April 20, scores of local residents marched across the fields on the outskirts of Stroochester to protest the plans, organised by the Save the Midway AONB campaign.

The plan proposes building a new estate on protected marshland close to the River Midway on the outskirts of Stroochester.

Speaking from the march, organiser Suzanne Wyuss said: “Today we’ve done a walk the Midway Marshes as part of our campaign to try and show people the impact that a 5000 home settlement would have on this beautiful area.”

The retired teacher, who has lived in Stroochester for seven years, said: “The whole idea of a settlement on protected marshland is ludicrous,” fearing harm to local birds and other wildlife.

Local authorities must have local plans in place to govern house-building and business development over a long period of time. If they don’t have an approved local plan, councils are put into a “state of presumption in favour of sustainable development” - meaning they have to approve development in areas which they would actually prefer to refuse.

Midway Council leader Vic Marbles

At the Midway council meeting in March, Lab**r Council Leader Vic Marbles told Stroochester residents: “These targets have always been advisory but as we are no longer a Tory-run authority, the Tory government have now decided to impose this development upon us as an act of revenge.”

Midway’s consultation on the plan will end on June 3.

The council will then attempt to alter some of the plans accordingly, undertake a second consultation, and then send all of the responses and the final version of the plan to the government’s Planning Inspectorate, which will then be told by central government to reject any amendments and tell the developers to just get on with it, and serve the residents of Midway right for voting Lab**r.


Comments: 

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Chad Grunter wrote:

I dare say that the NIMBYs who are complaining about this proposed development are also supportive of the hundreds of thousands of unwanted immigrants that come to our shores every year. They have to be housed somewhere and if a 7,000 home estate on green belt land annoys a few lefty snowflakes then I, for one, am all in favour of it.

👍+134

MikeCoynteDevelopments wrote:

I think the planned development is fantastic and anyone opposing it is just a NIMBY.

👍👍👍+890

Yu Rong wrote:

I think the Tories are absolutely wonderful. Rishi “Iron Man” Sunak has now driven through his wonderful plan to send all immigrants to Rwanda and so that should free up lots of luxury housing that had been shamefully snatched from the UK’s army veterans and given over to a bunch of foreigners instead. No-one believes the snowflake, ultra far-left propaganda put on here by the likes of GreyMondeoMan and Gonads, who obviously don’t live in the real world as reported in those shining beacons of truth, the Daily Express, the Daily Mail and GBNews.

👍+134

Grey Mondeo Man:

The “housing shortage” is a myth driven by greedy developers, money markets and banks. If you look at the data, housing stock levels have consistently risen at a higher rate than population growth, even in the past couple of decades. If house prices were working on the law of supply and demand then surely house prices would have gone down? The truth is that the approach from Tory financial policymakers – dismantling credit controls, letting more lenders get involved in mortgages and changing the role of building societies, to name a few deregulations – has helped to create a booming market for housing speculators. This has been great for the asset-wealthy few, but not so much for the rest of us. Building more houses without reforming the financial and lending markets will just feed property speculation, exactly as it is at the moment.
But don’t let actual facts get in the way of blaming immigrants for everything, you MORON readers…

👎👎👎-27

David Simile the Second replied:

As usual, a typically stupid reply from the typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake that is Grey Mondeo Man. Like all lazy parasitic leftist bum-boys, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Who needs facts when I can have pre-digested, emotional opinions from the Daily Express?

👍👍+345

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, do not vote in the next elections because all political parties are the same. If no-one vote your Tories will boss, which good news for all Russian money in UK and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+22

 

Opinion: Our Undercover Intellectual Meets A Road Rage Driver

This week, the Undercover Intellectual recounts his first-hand experience of "Road Rage" - and how to deal with it!

During my time at Eton I got into various little contretemps and of course, the odd brawl whilst playing rugger.

Being a gentleman, I have always tried to avoid confrontation whenever I can. Even in my early drinking days in the Bullington Club, I’d be the one slipping out the side door rather than reaching for a barstool.

Given my advanced years, I had thought such rumbustiousness would be a thing of the past but alas, while making my weary way home after undertaking some heavy investigative journalism, I found myself at the centre of exactly the sort of sad situation I thought I had long since left behind.

Negotiating a junction off of the busy M234 in the same way I have done hundreds of times in the past, I drove across the marked lanes and selected the correct one for my exit. However, it seems that this simple manoeuvre prompted a “white van driver” behind me to become somewhat restive.

Stock photo of stereotypical White Van Man

This impatient half-wit, no doubt fuelled by a mixture of cocaine and steroids, began to flash his headlights, sound his horn and make a variety of interesting and amusing hand gestures, which may or may not have been some sort of “gang-sign” of the type I understand is so much favoured by drug-dealers and other undesirables of such ilk.

This “gentleman” was becoming quite agitated, so Mrs. U.I. suggested that we further investigate his behaviour in an attempt to improve the importunate chap’s education and understanding.

What desperate failure in his life or inadequacy in his upbringing led him to such a display of obvious road rage I have no idea, so in a spirit of inquiry, Mrs. U.I. and I decided to find out.

That morning, I had been pheasant shooting at a friend’s estate and my antique shotgun was tucked away in the boot of my trusty Audi. Unwilling to leave such a valuable item in my vehicle unattended, I retrieved it and took it with me as Mrs. U.I and myself disembarked to ask what mental crisis our friend in the white van behind us was enduring.

Strangely the Neanderthal, wearing the usual uniform of close-cropped hair, manicured stubble and the inevitable grey, tight-fitting grey tracksuit complete with hood, refused to communicate with us, instead clicking the button to lock all of his van doors and feverishly stabbing at his mobile telephone.

Mrs. U.I. attempted to initiate a dialogue by banging on his windscreen and mimicking the display of “gang-sign” that this driver had shown us earlier, but to no avail.  By now, the traffic was beginning to build up and within minutes, a large number of traffic police arrived in a fleet of noisy vehicles complete with blaring sirens and flashing lights, along with a police helicopter and several black-clad officers of the law bearing some quite impressive weaponry.

Needless to say, the situation was soon resolved to the satisfaction of all. I explaining that any spare seconds were needed to decide whether to engage fight or flight mode, secretly realising I should have perhaps chosen the latter and simply noted his number plate with the aim of reporting his aggressive behaviour to the authorities. I’m not a fighter and, but all things considered, I still feel I took the right decision, not least because this ne’er-do-well had all the look of someone involved in organised crime.

Such people need to be taught a lesson and I think that Mrs. U.I. and myself perhaps gave this chap pause for thought and maybe even put him on the path to become a more worthwhile and polite member of society.

One would hope that he would at least think twice before becoming so visibly angry with the obviously wealthy driver of an expensive car in future!

Comments:

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Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

It is good to see a member of the better-off classes taking a stand against the yobbish behaviour of their inferiors. It would be a mark of a woke, snowflake socialist state if members of the ruling elite were not allowed to put the working-class peasantry in their place, with shotguns if necessary. We are so very fortunate that our present government supports this status quo.

👍+63

Grey Mondeo Man wrote:

I am wondering if this article is related to an earlier event this week? If so, it rather proves that the Undercover Imbecile is, in fact, a one-man (plus one woman!) crime wave who operates in a totally consequence-free environment. 

👎👎👎-979

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied:

Of course he does, you silly boy. The sooner you grow up and learn that “privilege” means exactly that, the happier your betters will be.

👎+63

Armed Police Tackle Shotgun-wielding Road Rage Suspect

Stock picture of police at night

Armed police and a police helicopter were called to the busy Stroochester junction of the M234 after reports were received of a traffic hold-up caused by a man with a shotgun threatening a van driver.

The incident occurred at around 11.30 pm last night.

The man was disarmed by tactical weapons specialists, while another woman at the scene had to be Tazered after she attempted to bite a police officer. No-one was injured.

“This Audi shot across the junction and cut up a white Transit van on the inside lane. Then a well-dressed, rather elderly-looking man got out of the Audi and stood in the middle of the road, shouting and swearing and waving a shot-gun at the poor van driver,” said one witness, who wished to remain anonymous.

“There was another posh-looking woman who was staggering around, shouting and banging on the van’s side windows, trying to get into it. Both of them looked totally smashed and fighting mad. Fortunately the police got there pretty quickly and didn’t muck about…”

Once subdued, the man and woman were breathalysed at the scene and both were found to be three times the legal limit for breath alcohol. They were subsequently remanded in custody.

“A man and woman were arrested after a disturbance at the junction of the M234 with the A9801 Stroochester by-pass last night,” a police spokesman said. “They subsequently received a formal caution from our Chief Constable, who warned them that any further such behaviour may lead to disciplinary proceedings at the Masonic lodge. They were then released without charge.”

“We trust that the prompt action taken by Midway’s police officers will serve as a deterrent to all drink-drivers who go around threatening people with shotguns,” the Midway police spokesman continued, “unless, of course, you have all of the right connections in which case, it’s ‘Get Out Of Jail Free”…”


Comments:

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Grey Mondeo Man wrote:

So two drunken toffs hold up a van with a shotgun on a motorway and get released without charge? It just goes to show that rich and well-connected people can do exactly what they like in today’s Tory-dominated society, without fear of any consequences.

👎👎👎-2

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever replied:

Of course it does, you silly boy. The sooner you grow up and learn that “privilege” means exactly that, the happier your betters will be.

👍+63

David Simile the Second replied:

A typically stupid reply from Gay Morono Man, a typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, he is a blight on society and as such is unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you K**r S**rmer bum-boy.

👍👍+254

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

It is reassuring to see that the British police are still capable of making common-sense judgements in the face of increasingly woke, snowflake leftism. If rich and well-connected people were to be held to the same laws as the common peasantry, then society as we know it would cease to function. What is the point of privilege if the law of the land is applied to rich people? Fortunately, we have a government that fully understands this basic tenet of English society.

👍+63

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, do not vote in next elections because all political parties are the same. If no-one vote your Tories will boss, which good news for all big Russian money in UK and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+13

Undercover Imbiber Reviews a Weatherforks Pub – Stroochester’s The Sir Rees-Mogg’s Head

Typical Weatherfork's pub - The Rees-Mogg's Head in Stroochester...

An acquaintance had offered to buy me a pint and for reasons too boring to explain here, he said we should sojourn in Stroochester rather than at our usual watering hole at our Freemason’s lodge.

His suggestion for the venue was “The Forks”, of all places. It seemed rather downmarket for my own tastes but fortunately Sir Paul, the owner of the MORON, is a close personal friend of the founder of the mighty Weatherforks chain, Sir Martin Timm, both men being fine, staunch Tories and ardent Brexit supporters.

On hearing of my dilemma Sir Paul made a telephone call and (joy of joys!) arranged that most wonderful of things, a free lunch for myself, my acquaintance and Mrs. U.I, in exchange for (of course) a suitably honest and forthright review of Sir Timm’s Stroochester establishment.

Stock picture of pub bar

This is how Mrs. U.I. and I thus came to be in The Rees-Mogg’s Head on Stroochester High Street on a chilly Monday evening.

The Tory tabloid-reading pensioners of Stroochester clearly feel this is the best place for a night out in town and there were a few of these usual ‘Forks’ denizens dotted about, easily identifiable by their standard appearance of stripy t-shirts, dirty jeans, bad teeth, worse haircuts and loud, monotonous swearing. Otherwise, the place was empty, musty, dusty and almost hilariously old-fashioned, which was entirely appropriate given the name of the venue.

There is, however, absolutely no doubt that this was the busiest place in Stroochester on a Monday evening. Compared to its peers, The Rees-Mogg’s Head seems adequate, but this is only because its fellows are is about as dire as it gets.

Stock picture of pub toilet

Prior to the appearance of my acquaintance, I parked Mrs. U.I. at a table with her usual large glass of Pinot Noir and challenged myself to find the gents in this maze of a place. After an initial struggle, I deduced that given the place is named after that oleaginous anachronism Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg himself, they would be of a similarly primitive and Victorian nature. Sure enough, the facilities were outside in a gloomy and damp yard, with fixtures and fittings of a similarly Victorian appearance. They also looked like they had last been cleaned when good Queen Victoria had been on the throne, though I very much doubt that she would have wanted to use the one on offer here.

By the time I got back to the bar area, my acquaintance had arrived and had already replenished Mrs. U.I.’s glass. Despite the offer of a pint, I found myself in the seat after all. He went for a Badenoch’s Gaslighter and I chose a Sunlit Uplands from the Johnson’s Brexit Fantasy Brewing Company. I did consider a Braverman’s Wokerati and even tried a taster of the Jenrick’s Backhander which had a good rich flavour too, but the smell put me off.

Despite Weatherforks’ well-known business model of bulk-buying “on the turn” beer and shifting it at low prices to ensure high turnover, there is nevertheless a “Monday Club” which makes the drinks even cheaper. However, the bar staff had been tipped off about our “VIP” visit and so our drinks were “on the house”.

Stock image of pints of beer

Mrs. U.I. went for a fourth large glass of Pinot Noir and purposely ordered it on the App to see how long it would take – for those interested, it was a fraction under three-and-a-half minutes, the drink even coming with a banana!

Food was indeed being served and so we decided to sample some delights from the “Brexit-themed” menu. Unfortunately, an apologetic waitress said that due to various food shortages, they could only offer us the English Brexit salad, consisting of seasonal turnips, swede and carrots. We therefore decided to pass on this culinary extravaganza and ordered another round of drinks.

By now, some of the angry Tory pensioners surrounding us were choosing to stand up, making it easier for them to shout spittle into each other’s faces (as is their way). When a barmaid passed to collect glasses and asked them politely if they would take a seat, they seemed to take this as a personal affront. They began to shout and swear at the unfortunate serving wench, which led to the summoning of the ubiquitous tight-suited, miked-up security staff. A good scuffle then started and Mrs. U.I. (now half-way through her sixth large glass of Pinot Noir) felt obliged to join in the fun.

Testing Weatherforks carpet

Now as is well-known, one of the features of any Weatherforks hostelry is the unique nature of their floor coverings. Each pub in the franchise has its own special carpet, being individually made by the American company of La Brea Carpets and rigorously tested to ensure that it meets the exacting Weatherforks criteria for stickiness.

Mrs. U.I., her fangs securely locked on to the ear of an aggressor (her chosen method of attack) soon found herself immobilised, along with a seething, struggling mass of the combatant Tory unwashed. The bored security staff merely had to summon the police and the fire-fighting crew, the latter possessing the necessary specialist equipment that allows them to deliver any Weatherforks miscreants into the custody of the local constabulary without becoming stuck to the carpet themselves.

“We’re used to it”, said one member of the fire crew. “It’s always the same old faces. It’s kind of ironic that they end up having to Leave, even though they want to Remain…”

As my acquaintance observed, pattern recognition never was an angry working-class Tory pensioner’s long suite.

And so, stopping off outside the local police station only to collect Mrs U.I. (who had been released with a caution) we wended our weary way home after a highly entertaining evening.

In summary, my thoughts on the delightful “Rees-Moggs Head” are as follows:

Decor: *****   Delightfully greasy, seedy, tweedy, condescending and traditionally dressed up in a Victorian style, just like its namesake. The stickiness of the carpets lived up their legendary reputation and provided a huge amount of entertainment.

Food: *****   As someone who believes that quantity and low price is far more important than quality, the fact that I didn’t have to pay says it all.

Drink: *****   See “Food”.

Price: *****   See “Food” and “Drink

Staff: *****   Robotic, miked-up, completely indifferent to their customers but adequately efficient – just what you expect in a Weatherforks pub!

Toilets: *****   Living up to traditional Victorian values and probably riddled with good old-fashioned Victorian cholera and dysentery as well, just to give that true Tory, Brexity experience!


Comments: 

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Grey Mondeo Man wrote:
Yet another utterly pointless "review", whose outcome was decided purely by the amount of free drinks the author could snaffle, rather than the actual quality of the venue. There is (this comment has been edited for reasons of brevity - Ed.).

👎👎👎-1000

Undercover Imbiber replied:

My legion of adoring fans obviously don't share your cynical view of my little bon-mots as you can see below, so you are welcome to stew in the morass of your own obviously far-left, bitter and twisted bile.

👍👍👍👍+3000

Art. E. Fishall wrote:
I think these reviews are excellent and very funny.

👍👍👍+1000

Clint Elligence wrote:
I think these reviews are excellent and very funny.

👍👍👍+1000

A Staffer wrote:
I think these reviews are excellent and very funny.

👍👍👍+1000

A Notherstaffer wrote:
I think these reviews are excellent and very funny.

👍👍👍+1000

Mrs U.I. wrote:
I got stuck onna carpet tee hee hee yor my bes mate you are I luv you bruv hic

👍+342

Chad Grunter wrote:
Decent review. It is always amusing how some (usually self-entitled dribbling left-wing loons) start frothing at the mouth and looking down their snooty noses when ever somebody mentions Weatherforks. They are what they are, with no frills. They are not pretentious or do they pretend to be anything else than a cheap watering hole for all, including mainly the working classes, students and those that are not inserted up their own behinds :-)

👍👍+874

Grey Mondeo Man replied:

I suppose disagreeing with you and your kind makes me a left wing loon, but I prefer a traditional local not owned by a corporate chain, and where I can get to know the staff and landlord. Weatherforks, IMO, is just bland and the staff are robotic. I guess that's what some people like though, so fair enough. 

👎👎👎-1348

Chad Grunter replied:
Then don't visit then. Nobody is forcing you go. 

👍+98

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
I don’t “visit then”. So your point is? 

👎👎-675

Neil SecondID wrote:
Interesting, Grey Mondeo Man. Why would patriots (as you claim) not visit a UK corporate chain such as Weatherforks in this instance? and what evidence do you have to support your supposition that they do not necessarily prefer local independent pubs please?

👍👍+793 

Grey Mondeo Man replied:
Er, what? I didn’t say any of that.

👎👎👎-908 

David Simile the Second replied:
A typically stupid reply from a typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍+465 

Gonads wrote:
Martin Timms and Weatherforks are notorious for messing suppliers around, driving smaller independents off the high street and for his ruthless treatment of staff during COVID. But he was pro-Brexit so he's idolised by the MORON commenters.

👎👎👎👎👎👎👎-1687 

Chad Grunter replied:
Yet another Far Left, anti-British antagonist who seems to be on here almost every day. I am surprised that the MORON don’t ban the likes of you and your woke, snowflake bum-chums from commenting, such is the nature of your hateful, insult-sprinkled drivel. Lol. But I suppose the MORON needs a Far Left anti British antagonist such as yourself to keep the 99.9% of moderate truthful and factual posters amused at your bizarre rants.

👍👍👍+1980 

Gonads wrote:
Hilarious that you lot are the champions of free speech and always up in arms about being cancelled yet you all want greymondeoman and me removed form this site so you don't have to hear a single dissenting voice. The entire world doesn't think like GBNews tells you to, Gammonflakes. Like all "free speech warriors" from the right, they don't like moderate and factual voices challenging their inherent prejudices.

👎👎👎👎👎-2090 

Notchadgrunterhonestly: wrote:
Looks like you've now got another misguided and deluded idolising fan Greymondeoman. Unless you've created another account, posting self support.  If “Gonads” is real, then given time, they will realise your not as they believe. If it's you, then not unexpected. ps. Stop the lies about being "moderate and factual" (note you omitted truthful) knowing full well you are nothing less than a Far Left anti-British antagonist. 

👍👍👍+1123

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:
The establishment which was the subject of this review is a perfectly adequate substitute for our preferred venue of my Masonic lodge, given that I think it wise not to visit it due to “ongoing investigations”. It has the advantage that private conversations (about, say, how surprisingly combustible Michelin-starred pub-restaurants are) cannot be overheard (or even understood) by the loud, plebeian, drunken ignoramuses that typically populate such places. 

👍+63

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:
Comrades, do not vote in the next elections because all political parties are the same. If no-one vote your Tories will boss, which good news for all big Russian money in UK and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+45

 

Revealed: Just One In Four ULEZ Fines Paid In Midway Since London Mayor’s Controversial Expansion

Evil roaming socialist woke ULEZ camera

Evil Socialist Sadiq Khan

Another blow was dealt to London Mayor Sadiq Khan’s plans to fund an Islamic Republic in London when it was revealed that Midway residents had paid less than 25% of the penalty charge notices issued by Transport for London for non-ULEZ compliance.

“That’s because we’ve only issued about 40 fines to people living in the Midway area” said a TfL spokesperson, “and as Midway is about 40 miles away from the nearest ULEZ and most modern vehicles are compliant with ULEZ criteria anyway, it’s not really surprising”. 

“But rest assured we’ll be following up any non-payments with all of the means at our disposal,” added Sadiq’s Jihadist TfL lackey.

Alf Nozzer: pays nothing

Alf Nozzer, who works in construction and commutes from his Midway home to his work recycling lead from roofs in and around London, has received “countless letters”.

The 36-year-old says he has even had bailiffs turn up at his door but scares them away with his shotgun.

He added: “I haven’t paid anything and I won’t ever pay it; I don’t agree with it. But then I don’t ever pay for anything, me."

“I’ve had countless letters though. I’ve got a huge pile of them dedicated to ULEZ. It makes me laugh, mostly ‘cos I can’t read. Or count…” 

The ULEZ debate continues to rumble on and today a protest organised by local Tory activists is due to take place in Midway High Street, near McDonald’s, between midday and 3pm. 

Cllr. Voletrouser

“We’re planning to drive up to the nearest ULEZ camera and then blow it up,” said local Tory councillor Herbert Volestrouser. “We have the full support of top Tory brains like Iain Duncan Smith, so that makes criminal damage legal,” he said. “Tories are well-known for being tough on crime, except when Tories are committing it…”

It comes ahead of both the London mayoral elections and national elections in which ULEZ has become a key Tory distraction issue to divert thick people with short attention spans away from worrying about 15 years of Tory governmental corruption and incompetence.

Mayor of London Sadiq Khan, who continues to give an impassioned defence of his indefensible, woke, leftist decision to push ahead with Boris Johnson's scheme to clean up London’s air, will go to the polls next month in the mayoral elections on May 2.

He goes up against Tory rival Susan Hall, who is standing on a single-issue platform, “Scrap ULEZ expansion on day one because it won the Tories a by-election”.

MP Kylie Trollhouse: "Blame Lab**r"

Last month, Midway MP Kylie Trollhouse, who is opposed to the scheme because Tory head office is, put forward a bill in Parliament aimed at reversing the charge.

She has described the daily charge as an “absolute publicity gift for the Tory party which we’re going to milk for all it’s worth” and a “charge which hits the poorest hardest, although less than the Dartford crossing charges that everyone has to pay rather than just 5% of drivers, but we don’t intent to rock the boat on that one because that would be, like, taking on a big business consortium of the type which we Tories approve of, unlike that evil Socialist Sadiq Khan…”.

But despite getting government backing for her private member’s bill her bid appears to have been blocked after evil Lab**r MPs talked it out. 

“How dare Lab**r support clean air for London residents,” huffed Ms. Trollhouse.  “Vote Tory if you want the freedom to drive old soot-blowing, carcinogenic diesels through London and give little kids preventable lung diseases…”

More rabid twaddle from the MORON about ULEZ here and here...

 

Comments: 

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy.

Chad Grunter wrote:

Why should hard-working English people and their businesses be forced out of London by Sadiq Khan and his attempt to set up a woke, socialist Islamic republic in London via his corrupt ULEZ scheme? Smash the cameras now, I say. If Tories are doing it, it’s not illegal.

👍👍👍+4132

Grey Mondeo Man wrote: 

The ULEZ is just another Tory distraction issue that is being blown-up out of all proportion in order to distract from the economic and social collapse of the UK resulting from 15 years of Tory corruption, lies and incompetence. I expect the usual rabid Tories will be on here soon saying otherwise.

👎👎👎👎👎-13956

            Chad Grunter replied: 

I wish someone would blow YOU up.

👍+234

David Simile the Second replied:

A typically stupid reply from a typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍👍+265

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote: 

I do not pay the ULEZ nor any parking fees within its zone, or least, as far as I know I don’t. My chauffeur drives my massive luxury Range Rover in and out of London and parks wherever I tell him to. I let my lawyers worry about the various fines or whatever that Khan’s socialist minions have the temerity to send me. Rich people like me do not have to bother about such things, and we don’t.

👍+63

Boring Welsh Tory wrote:

Particulate emissions from so-called polluting diesels are rich in vitamins and beneficial omega-3 compounds that are known to boost cardiovascular and respiratory health.
Fossil-fuel-misinformation-for-the-credulous.com
Sadiq Khan is promoting his ULEZ as a front for his plans to turn London into an Islamic caliphate, which is itself a front for world domination by Bill Gates, George Soros and the Illuminati lizard people.
Completely-mental-conspiracy-theories-for-loonies.com
To avoid being subsumed by the alien lizards, it is best to hide in your Mum’s attic with your head wrapped in tin-foil and until the lizards are driven away by a triumvirate of Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Xi JinPing, who will liberate the world from tyranny by killing everyone who believes in climate change.
Vote-Trump-To-Liberate-His-Followers-And-Enslave-Everyone-Else.com.

👍+1

Yu Rong wrote:

I think the Tories are absolutely wonderful. The true benefits of Brexit are now obvious to all and anyone can see that we now are living in the promised sunlit uplands. The cost of living is at a record low, industrial productivity is at all all-time high and everyone is well-off, or at least everyone I know. God help us if K**r Starm*r and his bunch of leftist Lab**r loons get elected. No-one believes the doom and gloom ultra far-left propaganda put on here by the likes of GreyMondeoMan and Gonads, who obviously don’t live in the real world as reported in those shining beacons of truth, the Daily Express, the Daily Mail and GBNews.

👍👍👍+783

Pseudocreem 2 wrote: 

Comrades, do not vote in next elections because all political parties are same. If no-one vote, Tories will boss again, which good news for all fellow comrades hiding big money in UK and dear Mr. Putin.

👍+26

Pitch Mayhem As Chattingham Routed By Dukla Farmingham

Stock photo of blokes playing football

Dukla Farmingham 10       :     Chattingham FC 0

Acrobat (o.g. 3, o.g. 41, o.g. 78),                            Sent Off: Tagliatelli, Linguini (79) 
Gnats (5), Todger (34),
Crump (42, 43, 65), Sprunt (71, 80)

The sporting pride of Midway, Chattingham FC, remain rooted to the bottom of the North Kent Relegation League after an ten-goal thrashing by rampant promotion hopefuls Dukla Farmingham.

Manager Doug Outt, 59, remained tight-lipped in the face of this latest set-back, which leaves him still winless since he came to the club at the start of the season last year. 

“We started well, fought hard and were very competitive throughout the match,” said an ashen-faced Chattingham manager Doug Outt, “but letting in ten goals undermined what was otherwise a very encouraging performance.”

Chattingham’s in-form Congolonian striker Adobe Acrobat promptly opened the scoring with a superb volley that left his own keeper stranded, thereby adding another own-goal to his impressive tally of 19 this season.

Chats manager Doug Outte (59): Ashen-faced

“The lad’s in great form and shows excellent touch in front of goal,” said ashen-faced manager Doug Outt. “If only it was the opposition’s goal. Communication is the lad’s only problem, what with no-one in the club speaking Congolonian…”

Farmingham striker Jim Gnats nipped in with an opportunistic strike whilst Chattingham’s defender were busy giving their errant striker a good kicking after his first own goal, with defender Bob Todger adding a third to Farmingham’s tally from a throw-in.

Further goals from Farmingham’s mid-fielder Tommy Crump extended his side’s lead with two short-range tap-ins made whilst Chattingham defenders were busy pummelling a hapless Acrobat after his second own goal of the match, a well-struck back pass that blind-sided his own goalie just before half-time.

Nursing a first-half deficit of six goals, Chattingham came out with a defensive intent, adopting an eight-one-one formation and hoofing the ball up the field to lone striker Acrobat whenever they could, in the hope of keeping him away from their own goal. 

Despite a congested goalmouth, the home side’s Tommy Crump completed his hat-trick with a weak shot that nevertheless gently rolled into the goal between the legs of Chattingham’s hapless Swedish keeper, Olaf Smegs.

Ziggy Sprunt added a seventh for the home team, before Chattingham’s Acrobat completed his own-goal hat trick late in the second half with a perfectly timed run around three of his own defenders before calmly stroking the ball into the back of his own net.

Chats crowd (Sid and Elsie Dreadful)

Mayhem then erupted, with the visiting fans (Sid and Elsie Dreadful) running to the pitch with a length of rope in an attempt to lynch their own hapless striker Adobe Acrobat. They were promptly joined by the rest of the Chattingham squad and only the intervention of referee Dickie Quaver prevented the importunate Congolian from being strung up from his team’s own crossbar.

During the uproar, Chattingham’s Italian mid-fielders Diego Tagliatelli and Julio Linguini were both red-carded. On the re-start, Farmingham’s Ziggy Sprunt cheekily added his second and his side’s tenth goal whilst Chattingham, now reduced to nine men, were still chasing their hapless striker Adobe Acrobat around the pitch.

“I thought we lost a bit of discipline after we conceded our ninth goal”, admitted rueful Chattingham manager Doug Outte (59) after the game, “but I was nevertheless impressed with the running and pace of our midfield. The young lad Acrobat was lucky to get away from them after his third own goal…”

“Still, at least we got something from the game,” added a grim-faced Doug Outte (59). “Our Slovomanian defender Slobodon Miovakoat sneaked off of the subs’ bench after half-time, went through home’s side changing room and cloned a few of their player’s bank cards. That’ll pay the wages this week…”


Comments:

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Judge Dreadful wrote:

Gutted. Sick as a parrot. We were all over them, except for the ten goals we conceded. Never mind, next week will be different. Post-match kebab was the highlight of the day. C’mon lads, up the Chats! COYC!!

👍+1

Dullman wrote:

Outte Out!

👎-1  

Pauline On Politics: This week - Angela Rayner's tax dealings...

Every week, our Political Correspondent Pauline Popkins puffs up a Tory distraction issue to feed to our tame audience of gammony trolls. 

This week:  Deputy Lab**r leader Angela Rayner's alleged tax avoidance... 

OK, so the Tory party is famous for being UK’s party of political corruption.

And it’s still maintaining that fine old tradition.

In 2020, then Housing Minister Robert Jenrick accepted a £12,000 donation to the Tories from millionaire property developer Richard Desmond just a couple of weeks after waiving through a £1 billion property scheme. Jenrick knew that Desmond had only 24 hours to have the development approved before new council community charges were imposed that would have cost him about £45m, and later accepted that his approval of Desmond’s project was unlawful.

Then in 2021, the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards found that Tory MP Owen Paterson was in breach of lobbying rules. Paterson was being paid over £100,000 by two companies, and he repeatedly made approaches to government ministers on behalf of those firms. Rather than accept the 30 day suspension that came with the rap, his good old chum Boris Johnson got the Tories to vote out the verdict in Parliament, with a plan to replace the Standards Commission with a new Tory-controlled lap-dog, sorry, watch-dog instead. It all went pear-shaped when the row forced Paterson to resign.

Or what about Nadhim Zahawi, Boris Johnson’s former Chancellor of the Exchequer who was sacked as Chairman of the Tory party in 2023 for a breach of the ministerial code after apologising for failing to disclose millions of pounds in tax and coughing up a £4.8 million tax settlement with HMRC?

Or what about top Tories who take vast “salaries” for presenting on right-wing nut-job Tory Party TV campaign channel GB News? The likes of Sir Jacob Rees Mogg, Lee Anderson, Esther McVey and Philip Davies have creamed off over £660,000 from the not-at-all politically biased “news” channel formerly funded by Tory billionaire donor Sir Paul Marshall.

Or what about the unlawful Covid “VIP lane” for the chums of top Tories like Michael Gove or Matt Hancock? They were awarded extortionately exorbitant contracts for the provision of PPE, often at twice the market rate and sometimes for equipment that turned out to be unusable or substandard. The taxpayer got took for a cool £14 BILLION on that one.

And if we started on the list of Tory sex pests, perves, rapists and bullies that have been in the news since the 2019 election, I’d be here all night.

BUT NEVER MIND ALL THAT!

Angela Rayner: Witch hunt!!!

WHAT ABOUT THAT ANGELA RAYNER, EH? EH??

The Daily Mail has been trying desperately to dig up a few turds to throw at Lab**r in the face of a tidal wave of Tory shit, and hooray, they’ve finally managed to strike brown at last!!

Seems that Lab**r’s Ginger Whinger could owe as much as £3,500 to HM Revenue and Customs in capital gains tax that she didn’t declare when she sold her old council house in 2015.

£3,500 EH? EH??

THAT’S PATHETIC!!!!

IT’S NOT EVEN 1% OF EX-CHANCELLOR NADHIM ZADAWI’S DODGY TAX SETTLEMENT!! 

It just goes to show that Angela Rayner is UNFIT to hold high office if she can only fiddle trivial amounts like three grand.

And she has even offered to RESIGN if the Tories can get their shit to stick…

HOW GUTLESS IS THAT, EH?  EH???

BORIS JOHNSON HAD TO BE DRAGGED KICKING AND SCREAMING OUT OF 10 DOWNING STREET WHEN HIS LIES CAUGHT UP WITH HIM!!! 

THAT’S HOW A PROPER LEADER SHOULD BEHAVE!!!  EH???  EH????

No appetite for a fight, eh, Angie?  A TYPICAL SPINELESS LEFTIE WOKE LABO**ITE!!!

SHE MAKES ME SICK!!! HOW DARE SHE GO AROUND BEING POPULAR, ATTRACTIVE, COMPETENT AND INTELLIGENT? Arrogant bitch!!! WHAT THIS COUNTRY NEEDS IS MORE FEMALE MINISTERS LIKE THERESE COFFEY!!! A PROPER TORY THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!

Angie’s just a typical K*ir Starm*r Lab**r socialist snowflake crony.  BLOODY LIGHTWEIGHT!!! Can’t even fiddle a decent amount on her tax!! And what are the rest of ‘em doing about the UK’s problems, eh?  NOTHING, AS USUAL.  Just opposing everything.  Always saying “NO!!!”  HATE! HATE!! HATE!!!  BASTARDS!!!!

Deep state communist civil servants left-wing investment bankers bring back Liz wibble wibble evil BBC socialist London metropolitan elite gibber gibber STOP RINGING THOSE BELLS STOP RINGING THOSE BELLS bloody LBGT Guardian-reading tofu-eating wokerati…

There’s only one answer to this. DEPORT ANGELA RAYNER TO RWANDA that’s the only language a communist fifth-columnist like her understands meep meep bleep whirrr OOOBIE DOOBIE DOOWAH SUSAN’S ON THE TUBA bibble babble bobble GALILEO GALILEO MAGNIFICO-OOOH-OOOH BEE-ELZELBUB’S GOT A DEVIL PUT ASIDE FOR MEE-EEE-EEE FOR MEEE-EEE-EEE FOR MEEEEEEEEE OH MY GOD my brain’s exploded!!!!

Comments: 

Please note that we do not moderate comments. However, we may edit or delete them, or manipulate the voting on them in order to reflect our editorial policy

Yu Rong wrote:

I think the Tories are absolutely wonderful. The true benefits of Brexit are now obvious to all and anyone can see that we now are living in the promised sunlit uplands. The cost of living is at a record low, industrial productivity is at all all-time high and everyone is well-off, or at least everyone I know. God help us if K**r Starm*r and his bunch of leftist Lab**r loons get elected. No-one believes the doom and gloom ultra far-left propaganda put on here by the likes of GreyMondeoMan and Gonads, who obviously don’t live in the real world as reported in those shining beacons of truth, the Daily Express, the Daily Mail and GBNews.

👍👍+783

David Simile The Second wrote:

A wonderfully concise and accurate summary of the appalling Angela Rayner, who is so typical of the hordes of stupid remoaning socialist La**or woke snowflakes. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, they are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillocks. Keep up the good work, Pauline!

👍+243

Grey Mondeo Man said:

The Tories have nothing to offer but mud-slinging and insults. They have no talent, honour or competence whatsoever in their ranks and the only tactic they have left is to try and drag others down with them. It stinks.

👎-98

David Simile the Second replied:

A typically stupid reply from a typically stupid remoaning socialist La**or-supporting woke snowflake. Like all lazy parasitic leftist scum, you are a blight on society and as such are unable to hold any sort of discussion without resorting to vile, frothing insults. Crawl away and die, you tofu-eating, Guardian-reading pillock.

👍+234

Chad Grunter wrote:

Angela Rayner is living proof that Labour is the party of true corruption. Everyone knows that all Tories are a lying, deceitful and completely immoral bunch of self-serving weasels which is why people such as me, who share their complete lack of scruples, will always vote for them. Labour cannot now pretend to be any different. Rayner’s lack of ambition regarding the scale of her alleged fraud is a mark of a typically weak, woke party.

👍+104

Kent’s Greatest Prick Ever wrote:

I haven’t paid tax for years, thanks to my accountancy firm. Tax is something that should only paid by the poor and the weak in society. It is clearly wrong that rich people like me should pay for services that we never use, after all. If Angela Rayner is so plebeian as to not find a way to avoid paying tax, then she is clearly unfit to be a senior politician.

👍+63

DailyMailBob wrote:

A lab**r councillor told me lab**r will make rich folk or folk with a big house who lives alone rent their rooms to the home office at standard rates to save on hotels and said there will be tax and inheritance penalties if you don’t so welcome to the NEW WORLD OF LAB**R your choice eh and I know all this is true because I read it in the Daily Mail!

👍+135

Pseudocreem 2 wrote:

Comrades, do not vote in the next elections because all political parties are the same. If no-one vote your Tories will boss, which good news for all big Russian money in UK and dear Mr. Putin

👍+45

NotaToryBot wrote: 

I am not going to vote at the next election because all parties are the same but we really hate Lab**r and I hope that if we keep pushing the “all parties are as bad as each other” line then the Tories will win by default.

👍+109

PutinFanBoy wrote: 

I have always voted but if a general election came up in the next few months I would spoil my paper because I don’t think any of them are fit to lead us we have the Tories lead by a man who has suspect tax affairs he should never have been made a leader but then none of the others would have been viable now he wants to make homelessness a criminal offence yet the cost of living crisis is putting more and more on the streets no way that will ever get my vote l**our? No - with St**mer having his strings pulled by Co*byn and R*yner and her dodgy house buying Lib. Dem - slightly better but even tho Davey might not have been responsible for the Post Office scandal he should have made it his business to be fully aware of what was happening reform - No - Farage and his lies about 350 million for our NHS and some of their candidates extreme views on race and ethnicity would never agree with my own beliefs Britain is in such a mess now, maybe we should let a strongman like Putin take charge as democracy has failed in the uk.

👍+25

Four-year plan to improve Midway Towns and boost tourism questioned after decision to axe visitor centre.

Midway Council offices in Chattingham

A four-year plan to improve Midway and boost tourism in the Towns has been called into question after a decision to axe its visitor centre.

Midway Council is developing a new plan, known as the Conservation and Recreational Area Plan (CRAP), which sets out the authority’s ambitions to improve the conurbation up until 2028.

The document sets out how it wants to make the area a great place to live, work and visit and covers aspects such as housing, education, the economy, health, and tourism, despite having been bankrupted by the previous 20 years of Conservative council under-funding and public service cuts.

The CRAP acts as a wish-list for guiding the direction of everything the council does in order to reach the goals it has set itself, despite having no money to spend on anything as all of its income is spent on servicing the debts run up by the previous Tory incumbency.

It was scrutinised by members of its business support and digital overview and scrutiny committee last Thursday (April 4).

Tory Councillor Herbert Voletrouser

Conservative Councillor Herbert Voletrouser naturally questioned the priorities set out in the plan, despite not having any answers to Midway’s financial crisis himself.

The Tory councillor suggested that Lab**r were to blame for the financial problems of Midway Council despite his party having run its services into the ground for the past 20 years.

Specifically, Cllr Voletrouser questioned Midway Council’s priority of ensuring good quality, affordable housing across the Towns, saying house prices were not something they could really influence, as if that had anything to do with the aim of actually building decent houses.

He added if the authority was successful in making Medway an attractive place to live, it would draw people towards the area, pushing up house prices and making homes unaffordable, and that he thought that the council should therefore be looking to make Midway as unattractive as possible, which had been the policy of the previous Tory council.

Cllr Voletrouser, who represents the exclusive gated development of Poshmansions South East, added: “It’s ridiculous to try and make Midway an attractive place to live, because that will only push house prices up. We should continue with the previous Tory administration’s plan to trash Midway and make it as horrible as possible, so that house prices stay low. No-one would argue that we Tories haven’t done a good job in that respect.”

He also asked about the plan’s ambition to attract tourism to the Towns, which, he said, didn’t bear out in the authority’s actions.

He continued: “You’ve also said you want to make Medway an attractive tourist destination, but one of the first things we’ve done is shut the Visitor Information Centre (VIC) in Stroochester. Just because the council hasn’t got any money thanks to central government cuts is no reason not to neglect critical public services in favour of funding tourism.”

“Keeping essential services running, such as care for the elderly, doesn’t sit well with me.”

He also asked for reassurances the CRAP wouldn’t be just another attractive document which is agreed and not followed up on.

Vic Marbles: Hiding to nothing

Midway Council’s leader Vic Marbles, said he could guarantee this would not be the case.

He told the meeting: “Despite the fact that the previous administration has bankrupted the council, we are going to do our best to ensure that the council will do its best to deliver decent public services.”

“We know that the Tories are going to snipe and sneer at us as we try and fix the mess they landed us in, but that’s what we’ve come to expect from a bunch of lazy dinosaurs.”

Non-dinosaur councillors were more positive about the plans.

Cllr Simon Korma (Lab) said the outline of the authority’s ambitions and the evident enthusiasm from Mr Marbles gave her hope for the future.

He said: “I’m feeling positive about this and I think anyone who reads the CRAP will learn a lot about how 20 years of Tory cuts has wrecked Midway and, if this plan comes to term, how we’ll be giving Medway a chance of recovering.”

The plan went out for public consultation in January and February and better education, jobs and growing the economy was listed as the top priority of the 318 respondents.

The full CRAP can be viewed on the council’s website.

Residents said social care, community safety, and improving general health and well-being should be among the council’s main focuses.

Kylie Trollhouse MP: Blame Lab**r

“Which is all woke, socialist leftie nonsense” said Stroochester MP Kylie Trollhouse. “How dare this evil Marxist Lab**r council shut our tourist offices so that that they can fund essential social care services instead?”

“Midway has many world-class attractions that the previous Tory administration was responsible for,” Ms Trollhouse said.

“For example, the potholes in our roads are just as big and destructive as any of those on offer elsewhere in the UK. How can we put a positive spin on Midway’s decaying infrastructure if we shut our tourist centres?” 

“Vote Tory for spin instead of services…”